Overview:
Several days ago, I was faced with a critical timing decision. I needed to decide to embark upon a seven hour round trip to be someplace in person with one of my sports team’s or call into the meeting. The decision about making this trip was made six hours before heading out on the road, and it was not ideally made at the hour of 9:30 PM. Especially knowing I was only going to get five hours of sleep and must leave my house at 3:30 am to arrive where I needed to be.
Adding to the complication of making the decision to embark upon this trip was the fact that one of our family members was in the hospital and I was potentially going to have to bring two dogs with me. One of them is Charlotte, and she is used to traveling with me, but Luna isn’t. Based on some creative logistics planning, I was able to leave the dogs in the care of a family member at my house, and the family member in the hospital was stable enough to delay visiting with them until the early afternoon.
When I received “that” phone call from the head coach of the team, I knew right away that my plans for the next day were going to be significantly different. Thankfully I have several talents which allow me to turn complicated matters into manageable ones, and my skills were certainly put to the test. After rearranging my planned schedule late that evening, I knew that making the trip to see the coaches and their team in person was not only the right thing to do, but it was much deeper than that. What I mean by this is that I considered all the possible ways I could handle providing support from afar, but under the circumstances, the only option I was comfortable with wasn’t going to be an easy one to accomplish. This didn’t matter, as what did matter was that I needed to physically show up, regardless of the difficulties of doing so.
The twist related to this decision was that I wasn’t going to provide advance notice of being where I was going in person. I understood the risks of this decision, but I felt in my heart this was the right approach under the circumstances I was aware of.
Fast forward to being in the presence of the sports team and their coaches and the look of surprise and relief on their faces was what many would consider to be priceless. Also, heartwarming, because it confirmed I knew I made the right decision to show up in person to support this team. This is what I do, and to tell others to do this, you need to lead by example.
When I was addressing the team, I asked them initially if they knew why I was there? I did this because they certainly were not expecting me to be in front of them very early that morning. Nor were their coaches or their trainer. What do you think the response was from the team? If you guessed that I heard “crickets” and saw a lot of heads looking down at the ground, you would be spot on. Since the team apparently didn’t know what to say, I told them I was there based on a conversation I had with their coaches the previous evening. I also suggested to them that they likely understood what was involved with this conversation. After I conveyed the unspoken context of why I was there in front of them, I told them that sometimes it is critically important to just show up in support of another person, or an entire team.
After conveying why, I was there, I added that they too needed to show up. I then went onto tell them that I was challenging them to do this. To show up for not only their team members and coaches, but also for all the people who had indirectly supported them to get to the place they are today as a D1 team. Let’s also include the fact that since they were flying out to begin competing in their pre-season games the next day, it would be an ideal time for them to put this concept into practice. More importantly because there were enough members on the team who were far from doing this.
Does every leader or team have the challenge of not showing up at times? Not all of them do, but many of them struggle with this concept occassionally during their season. The same concept can be applied to workforce team’s and their leaders, but the timing cycles tend to be different. Although the outcome from showing up can produce the same intended positive results, and not the consequences that come from not doing so.
Was I emotional when I was addressing the team? You bet I was, and I believe I showed them how much I care, and that I am comfortable with being vulnerable too and showing a leadership side of me they don’t always see. Demonstrating and or allowing yourself to be vulnerable in front of those you are leading, or engaging with in a constructive manner is a critical component to leading others. Although I’m certain a few leaders either haven’t grasped or adopted this aspect associated with their leadership style. It’s not easy to be vulnerable, but it is authentic, and at the end of the day, in my opinion, there is nothing better than authentically being able to interact with and lead others.
The outcome from showing up hasn’t been revealed yet, but I expect that it will be over the next few days. This will begin with how the team is interacting and supporting one another as well as their coaches and supporting staff members.
Getting “that call” isn’t something any of us look forward to or are prepared well enough to handle. However, if you find yourself in this leadership scenario at some point, below are some suggestions for how to navigate this challenge well.
- It’s easy to cast blame on a person or a group of people. Don’t do this when you are addressing the team. The ones on the team who are causing challenges know who they are, and so do their team members.
- If you begin to see small cracks in your team dynamics, address them right away. There also need to be consequences that are in alignment with any challenges that are being destructively applied. Sure, you can start with a verbal conversation and warning if the negative behavior isn’t that significant, and you will have to leverage your best judgement and common sense about whether a warning, or immediate consequence is appropriate.
- Make sure that your team understands what non-negotiable actions are. Put them into writing if you think this will help, and so that they can’t be misunderstood or misinterpreted.
- Your first inclination might be to take the easy path and not directly address a matter. Although there will be choices that are hard to make, don’t dismiss them because of the fact they are. They might absolutely be the right ones to apply to make the difference or course correct the scenario or team dynamics you need to adjust.
- Put yourself in situations that make you uncomfortable. The more you practice being in them, the easier it will be when you are faced with not having a choice when it really matters that you “show up”.
- Ensure you are fully listening and understanding what you are hearing when you get “that call”. It’s easy to overreact and to not think clearly in heightened emotional scenarios. So, after you have intently listened to what has been conveyed to you, verbally play back what you heard.
- In many scenarios when you get “that call”, you will want to physically be in the presence of the person who put out the S.O.S., and it will be up to you to decide whether it is physically possible for you to actually “show up” to support that person or the team.
- Timing of when you can do “show up” can be critical, so, when possible, don’t delay in doing so. Although there will always be exceptions to this.
This is certainly an emotionally charged topic that is close to my heart, and the reason I do the work I do. Serving others as a leader is an honor, and privilege, so don’t ever forget this. I would be interested in knowing your thoughts on the impact you have had during a time when you had to “show up”. Keep on showing up.
TAGS: #Leadership #Sports #Workforce #Workteams #Leader #Sportscoach #Communication #Teamdynamics #Personaldevelopment #Management #Sportsteams #Professionalsports #Collegesports #Timemanagement #Teams