Who Balances You?

Balance is one of those concepts which we all know we should have, or at least strive to maintain. The trick is to strike a balance with everything we have going on. Easier said than done. Add in the fact there are multiple dimensions to balance, and if you were to ask five people what their definition of this means, you would get five different responses.

For the sake of crafting a definition of what balance means to me, my description would include finding and maintaining a middle ground or neutrality in all aspects of our work and home lives. In other words, no drama or extremes would be factored into my definition.

Naturally we can all attempt to find and strike a balance on our own. We can also change the meaning of what balance in our lives mean over time, or situationally. The fact that having balance in our lives is a fluid concept can serve us well. When we have a steady dose of balance in our lives, we are generally more satisfied and happy.

Finding and maintaining a balanced life or work world can also be contagious. This is absolutely something you would want others to catch! Modeling balance in your life to others can contribute to helping others who can’t seem to grasp this concept. Finding people who have figured out how to achieve balance might be the hardest part. However, I assure you will not have to look hard for them.

So, how do you begin looking for people who are well balanced? Good question, but luckily it is easier to find them than you might think it would be. Here are some suggestions on how to go about finding them, and perhaps someone who can help to balance you.

  • People who have balance in their life are generally even tempered individuals, and not much rattles their personality.
  • They avoid drama.
  • They are not interested in being in the spotlight, and will often avoid situations which would call any attention to them.
  • Generally, people who have balance in their life or at work are willing to help others, and will often sacrifice their time to do so.
  • Material things do not matter to them.
  • Strong relationships with others are a part of their rock-solid foundation, and they will not compromise a relationship if they are a balanced person.
  • You can count on people who have balance. They will seldom disappoint you.
  • They will often put your needs ahead of theirs, and without any hesitation in doing so.
  • Most of the time they are highly accomplished individuals in a multitude of areas in their work and home life.
  • They give sound and actionable advice that always seems to come at the right time, and produces results you may not have been able to achieve or have thought of without it.

Having balance in your life is something we should all seek to achieve. People who do tend to be healthier, stronger relationships, are more resilient, have more opportunities to pursue, and a much more positive outlook on the world they live in. Isn’t it time you started to seek more balance in your life, or perhaps help someone who is struggling with not having any?

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of Market Me Too.  She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Finder Coachauthor of Wisdom Whispererand is a well-respected motivational and social influencer with a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances. She also is the creator and Host of a TV Show and Podcast called Murf & E Unfiltered – Zero BS Biz Talk.

Essentially every team is dysfunctional in some way. Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and bridging dysfunctional teams (sports & business), and turning them into epic ones.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Our coaching produces repeatable, measurable and amazing results personally and professionally. Need proof? Just talk to our clients, or read through our testimonials.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

“NEW!” Guide for Teams:

Every team is dysfunctional at some point.  Click on the link below to obtain a “free guide” with (5) Proven Strategies To Turn Your Dysfunctional Team Into An Epic One

 

Are you aware of your unconscious biases?

Look around. What do you see? Depending on where you are is going to impact what you are seeing and reacting to. If you happen to be at work, you might be seeing your colleagues, and any number of different visual images of what is happening in your work environment. What you are seeing and experiencing could be the same thing every day, or perhaps the opposite of that a job that provides constant changing circumstances and scenery.

Essentially bias is another word, or a softer word for prejudice. If you know me, this is a word or type of thinking I don’t tolerate. As a matter of fact, I have called people out on this in my own family. When I do this, I ask them to explain why they think the way they do. Most of the time I vehemently disagree with their thinking, but I will give them the benefit of the doubt to consider re-thinking the way they think. I’m not saying my thinking is always right. However, when someone is overtly voicing or acting upon a bias I’m not going to be quiet about it.

Yes, I realize you cannot change people. They have to want to change themselves. However, I have found that 100% of the people who have a bias are not able to credibly explain why they think the way the do to justify their biased thinking. This is sad, and I understand they have been negatively influenced by their environment and the people they have been around or are associating with.

I view being biased as a human flaw. One which is supported often by closed minded thinkers. Yes, I’m giving closed minded people credit by suggesting they are actually thinking about why they are biased in the first place.

We can all agree that at the beginning and end of the day we are all the same. Humans. No one is better than someone else, and everyone has something good to offer others. Although, sometimes you have to look a bit harder to determine what it is, I guarantee it exists.

So, is it possible to remove biases in our day to day lives either professionally or personally? Absolutely. You just have to commit to doing so. One of the ways to do this is to commit to noticing biases you might have in every moment of your day. Think about why you might have this bias. Then think about whether you can reduce or ideally eliminate it.

Imagine how much better our world would be if we were all able to see one another as equals? I’m not sure if in my lifetime this will be achieved. However, I can do my small part which is to put a spotlight on this topic. When we think, and talk about concepts, it allows us to consider the reason why we act or say the things we do.

Here are some suggestions I have for you to begin reducing or attempting to eliminate biases in your life. I know this is a huge challenge, but I am compelled to make this a better world for all of us to live in. So, this is my version of heading us in this direction.

  • Commit to really getting to know new people. Find out what motivates them. Learn what makes them happy, or what makes them disappointed. Ask enough questions to determine whether they are “Pro” people, or closed minded and unwilling to give most people a chance to get to know them, or vice versa.
  • Try not to immediately judge both people and situations. Attempt to be open minded right from the start. This applies to both what you hear and see.
  • Listen to what others are saying. Really listen to them. Ask them questions to explain when you are hearing a bias of any kind. See whether by asking them additional questions you can potentially move them to at least a neutral place in their thinking, or verbalization on the topic you are discussing.
  • Model neutrality. Do this as you are working on becoming less or unbiased, and do not verbalize or act upon ones you have.
  • Do something kind instead of being biased towards a person, or put yourself into a situation you normally would not be involved with due to your own bias.
  • Lastly, an old piece of advice which is still applicable today, is to treat others how you would want to be treated. I have practiced this my entire life, and give credit to my parents for teaching me this. It really works, and has made an enormous difference in my life.

Although I have hope I will live to see the world become an unbiased place, I am realistic about this. As you know that change can only take place if we want it to, we can all do our part by at least acknowledging our own biases, and doing our best to understand why we have them, and ultimately to let them go. Being free from biases is an incredibly lofty aspiration. However, why wouldn’t we want to aspire to something that could literally and positively change the world we live in?

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of Market Me Too.  She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Finder Coachauthor of Wisdom Whispererand is a well-respected motivational and social influencer with a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances.

Essentially every team is dysfunctional in some way. Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and bridging dysfunctional teams (sports & business), and turning them into epic ones.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Our coaching produces repeatable, measurable and amazing results personally and professionally. Need proof? Just talk to our clients, or read through our testimonials.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

“NEW!” Guide for Teams:

Every team is dysfunctional at some point.  Click on the link below to obtain a “free guide” with (5) Proven Strategies To Turn Your Dysfunctional Team Into An Epic One

Are you bored? Or boring?

I have a source of irritation to tell you about. It’s when I hear someone say they are bored. When I hear this, I automatically think how is this possible? Sure, you might hear young kids say this, but when I hear this from a teenager or anyone older, I feel badly for them. Why? Because they don’t seem to understand it’s their own fault they are bored.

Why do I think no one should be bored? It’s simple. There are too many choices of things to do to possibly be bored. You know I love lists, so naturally I’ll be providing some G-rated options in case your mind is drawing a blank on what you can do to avoid boredom. Seriously, I can’t imagine how it would even be possible to be bored. Can you relate?

If you can’t relate to how I find it impossible to be bored, then I am going to challenge your thinking about this. We all know there are plenty of things we should be doing to be productive each day, and yes, I understand some people are far more productive than others.

For those of you who fall into the former category, you have even less of an excuse to utter the words “I’m bored”. Yes, it might be possible to be bored for short periods of time, say for example when you are sitting in grid-lock traffic. However, this is a perfect time to listen to music or give someone a call. Notice how I didn’t include texting, as in many states it is illegal to do so while driving, and possibly talk on the phone too.

So, if you are guilty of uttering the words ‘I’m bored”, consider if you really are. Why? Because for one thing, I can tell you are not fully leveraging your brain power to come up with more than one or two things you could be doing instead. Even when we are in situations when we are waiting for someone or something to happen, we can still engage ourselves in a productive activity. The first thing which comes to my mind is reading or listening to a Podcast.

Recently at the gym I found myself less enthused when I was working out on the resistance bike. Typically, I would listen to upbeat music while I’m biking, but I found when I switched to listening to podcasts from Ted Talks, the time on the bike flew by much faster. I think it is because my mind is more engaged when I am listening to the fascinating stories being told. The best part for me is that I always learn something new from each podcast.

Going back to the question of whether you might in fact be boring if you often find yourself to be bored, is another concept I want you to give some thought to. For instance, when you are in conversation with other people, are you only talking about other people, or are you in fact sharing information about something interesting you learned? Many people who chronically talk about other people are often the ones who would claim to be bored.

How do I know this? It’s because in the past I felt surrounded by people who often expressed this out loud. When I realized these were not the type of people I wanted to be associated with, I quickly made a conscious decision to find different people to interact with. What a fabulous decision this was! Are you possibly trapped in this type of web?

Perhaps you have heard of the expression relating to interesting people talk? What do they do differently? They talk about a variety of subjects versus people.  If you are guilty of this, take some time to think about why you do this. It’s not that hard to course correct on this behavior style. The first step is to be become aware of the fact you are doing this.

Now, as promised, here is a list of things you can do if you claim to be bored, and which won’t cost you much money. Not having money shouldn’t ever be an excuse for being bored, and I’m sure you have also heard the expression “creativity is the mother of invention.” It doesn’t cost money to be creative, so let’s get to the list to start you off in your non-bored direction.

  • Plan something. Yes, literally anything. It could be a party, it could be a trip, it could be putting together a list of books you want to read, or people you want to meet.
  • Challenge yourself to learn how to play an instrument, or another one if you already know how to play one.
  • Another challenge would be to learn how to speak another language, and to be at a conversational level within a period of time you set the goal for.
  • Everyone needs to eat. Are you good at cooking? I’m not. So, I have challenged myself to become a better cook, and to cook with a goal of making healthy food.
  • Do you have a hobby? Someone recently asked me if I had one. I had to think about whether I did. I’m not sure if it is a hobby, but I love looking at residential real estate, and designing rooms on-line. Ok, my other and secret hobby is finding the perfect IPA beer. So far, Lunch from the Maine Beer Company is my favorite one.
  • If you have any extra time, look for an organization you can donate and volunteer your time to. This can be really rewarding, and your time is more precious than money.

I could go on with countless more ideas, but you get the idea. When you are doing things which are productive, it provides you with a way to valuably spend your time. You also won’t be talking about other people, and essentially you will be building up your conversation list to become a more interesting person. Not the boring one none of us wants to be classified as.

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of Market Me Too.  She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Finder Coachauthor of Wisdom Whispererand is a well-respected motivational and social influencer with a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances.

Essentially every team is dysfunctional in some way. Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and bridging dysfunctional teams (sports & business), and turning them into epic ones.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Our coaching produces repeatable, measurable and amazing results personally and professionally. Need proof? Just talk to our clients, or read through our testimonials.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

“NEW!” Guide for Teams:

Every team is dysfunctional at some point.  Click on the link below to obtain a “free guide” with (5) Proven Strategies To Turn Your Dysfunctional Team Into An Epic One

 

Know where to look for contentment?

When you look around, would you say that most people you know are happy? Or, are many of them suffering on a daily basis and silently miserable? It could be hard to tell unless you talk to them. Although, sometimes their body language gives them away.

Is it possible that people who are miserable are this way due to outside influences which they can easily ignore? Yes, I believe it is possible for them to do so, and so does my friend. Yet, unfortunately we know plenty of people who choose not to.

Are you battling daily with being miserable, or living or working with people who are? If so, the most important thing for them to understand is that they do have a choice to be happy. My Mother used to tell me this on a daily basis. Whether she did this knowingly, she engrained this into my thought process. I’m glad she did, as it is a foundational aspect to how I view the world daily.

When you pause to think about your attitude, it takes far less energy to be happy than it does to be miserable. Have you considered this? If not, perhaps you should.

We can easily get caught up in the daily grind and whirlwind of other people’s energy. Sometimes it’s good energy. When it’s not, this is when the challenge of rising above the negative noise from the outside world needs to be tamed. We also have to be aware of the fact the outside noise is impacting us. Not everyone seems to be tuned into this happening to them.  Or, that they can turn it off.

Those who are aware of outside influences impacting their peace and contentment tend to be more self-aware. Whether they have intentionally learned how to do this, or if it comes naturally to them, they have mastered the art of being present. Being truly present isn’t always easy to do. Even for those who are generally good at it.

So, who is good at being present? Most young children are great at this. If you watch them play, it is evident they experience joy. Joy is one of the outcomes of contentment and peace. Who else is good at understanding peace and contentment? This is possibly a deep philosophical question, and not one I normally talk about or write about. However, put to the challenge of doing so, I think I have an answer.

My answer is that knowing how to experience peace and contentment may not in fact be a sustainable emotion or state. In my opinion, it is something which we have to work on. I also think that it comes over us like waves lapping up against the shoreline.  We can enjoy the sensation of peace and contentment, but it appears to be a fleeting emotion. One that perhaps we seek or try to hold onto for as long as possible.

When we start off in life as young adults entering the “real world”, we don’t typically have much money or many possessions. By economical measurements we could be classified as poor. However, during this time period we are arguably more content and at peace with ourselves. Why? Because we appreciate the few material things we have, and the simple pleasures in life that don’t cost much money, yet bring us happiness and contentment. Examples would be walking on a bike path, or on a beach, hanging out with our family, friends and pets or perhaps doing something creative or kind for someone.

At the end of the day, or our life, finding peace and contentment has to come from within. Too often we make the mistake of looking for the satisfaction of these emotions to come from other people, or possessions.

Even if you don’t agree with me, do me a favor. What’s my favor? It is to consider whether you could take on looking inwards to potentially find the peace and happiness you have been seeking. Just maybe you will find it. I hope you do, and that everyone is able to feel a sense of contentment and peace in their life more often than they think is possible to do so.

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of Market Me Too.  She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Finder Coachauthor of Wisdom Whispererand is a well-respected motivational and social influencer with a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances.

Essentially every team is dysfunctional in some way. Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and bridging dysfunctional teams (sports & business), and turning them into epic ones.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Our coaching produces repeatable, measurable and amazing results personally and professionally. Need proof? Just talk to our clients, or read through our testimonials.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

“NEW!” Guide for Teams:

Every team is dysfunctional at some point.  Click on the link below to obtain a “free guide” with (5) Proven Strategies To Turn Your Dysfunctional Team Into An Epic One

 

Coincidences?

Have you ever stopped to think about how there are certain people in your life who seemingly magically appear in your life at just the right time? Or, that circumstances have worked out when it seemed impossible for them to do so?

The word coincidence is often applied to help us understand or accept people or situations in our lives which can cannot readily explain or justify. I’m fine with this, although I think there is more to this happening than we give credit.

An example of someone who reappeared in my life when I needed them to is my editor Kathleen Veth. We had met via a business meeting about five years ago. The the circumstances of us meeting had nothing to do with her background of being an editor, although at that time I learned she had an editing background.

When I was approaching the final stories for my book, I began to consider who I could work with to help me edit my work. As soon as I did this, I started receiving email promotions from Kathleen about her other business venture. This prompted me to reach out to her to learn more about it. When we met, and spoke about her current venture, I asked her if she was still doing editing work. She told me she had not done this type of work for a number of years, but noted she really liked doing this type of work. So, was it a coincidence I started receiving emails from her at the time I needed to begin looking for an editor? I don’t think so.

If you take the time to look back on the people and circumstances which have happened in your life, were all of these instances planned meetings or explainable from a logical perspective of how they occurred? For example, have you ever been job hunting and just when you are about to give up your search for the day, you receive a call or email from a recruiter who wants to talk to you?

Perhaps you have thought about how you would like to go do something interesting, and then a few minutes later you receive a text from a friend asking you if you want to go to a museum with them to see a new exhibit which is on display?  Another example would be getting an email from your neighbor who is cleaning out their closets, and asks you if you would like to have any of the items they were going to donate. The coincidence in this situation is that you were thinking about how you could not afford to go shopping for new clothes right now.

A final example would be having your neighbor who is a cardiac nurse just happen to be home at the time you are having a heart attack in your front yard. She also happened to be in her yard, saw you go down, and she came over to begin CPR and be the first in a chain of events to save your life. This actually happened to a family member of mine, and I firmly believe it was not a coincidence this happened.

So, do our minds help to present coincidences, or do they happen independently from what we are thinking about? When I think about all of the unexplainable circumstances I have applied the word coincidence to, I am amazed at how often they happen, and I am glad they do.

Having coincidences happen makes life really interesting, and I am fascinated by when they occur. I have never spoken to anyone about their thoughts about whether they think there is something mysterious about coincidences occurring, but I think it would be a fun conversation to have with others at some point, perhaps tonight? Why not, as I’m sure it will prompt me to give more ideas about other topics to write about, and potentially some additional insight into why coincidences happen and how other people perceive this word.

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of Market Me Too.  She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Finder Coachauthor of Wisdom Whispererand is a well-respected motivational and social influencer with a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances.

Essentially every team is dysfunctional in some way. Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and bridging dysfunctional teams (sports & business), and turning them into epic ones.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Our coaching produces repeatable, measurable and amazing results personally and professionally. Need proof? Just talk to our clients, or read through our testimonials.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

“NEW!” Guide for Teams:

Every team is dysfunctional at some point.  Click on the link below to obtain a “free guide” with (5) Proven Strategies To Turn Your Dysfunctional Team Into An Epic One