Authenticity sparkle. Do you have it?

Not everyone is charming all the time, but those who are both charming and authentic certainly have advantages over others. You know who they are, and you quite possibly could be one of these people. Most salespeople can pull off a version of being charming, but the exceptional ones also do this authentically. Of course, I’m referencing salespeople because this particular career requires them to have what I refer to as ‘authentic sparkle’.

When someone has authentic sparkle, it’s incredibly obvious to others, and yet it may or may not be obvious to the person who possesses this ability. This may sound absurd, but I have seen this phenomenon so many times, I decided to share my take on how others who do not have this combo can either work on obtaining it, or hire someone who possesses it to be on their sales team.

So, the first thing you need to be aware of is the main characteristic traits for authentic sparkle. This is how I would break down being able to recognize them, although chances are you too have recently come across someone with these traits.  This is a limited list, but will provide you with enough clues on how to recognize the signs of this person.

  • When you first meet them, you feel like you have known them forever, or have met them before, but can’t remember exactly when it was.
  • They have the ability to converse on just about any topic you can imagine, with ease and beyond simply a surface level.
  • This is the type of person you want to invite to your next party or family gathering, even if you just met them.
  • They have an uncanny ability to put you at complete ease, even if the situation is stressful.
  • Although it seems unrealistic, you immediately have a sense you can trust this person, but you can’t put your finger on exactly understanding why you feel this way.
  • You want to help this person, even if you do not normally extend help to people you have just met.
  • This person literally makes your day better instantly when you meet them. Who doesn’t want to align themselves with this type of individual?

Have you met someone recently who you could describe as having some if not all of the characteristics above? If you have, what was the experience like for you?

Now, let’s switch gears and talk about how you too could attempt to acquire some of the characteristic traits noted above. These traits do not have to only apply to salespeople, as having a persona type which includes the characteristics above can be beneficial to lots of professions, and can carry over into your life too.

If you are interested in adding authentic sparkle to your life or profession, here are some tips on how to go about doing so.

  • Just be yourself. Seriously, too many people are attempting to be like others, but in my opinion, most people I have met are all pretty incredible in their own unique way. Embrace it, or like my article titled “Embrace Your Weirdness” encourages, don’t be afraid to show others who you really are.
  • Focus more on listening versus talking about yourself. Apply the 80/20 rule, which consists of listening 80% of the time, and limiting your talking to 20%. When you do this, you automatically come across as being more authentic.
  • Commit to once per day doing one nice thing for someone else. Both you and the person you did the nice thing for will add to your what I will call “sparkle bank”. I have also referred to this as your “karma bank”, and essentially, they are similar.
  • Look for opportunities to practice being authentic. If you do not provide yourself with chances to practice being charming, and your genuine self, you are not going to automatically become better at this simply because you want to. Sorry to burst your bubble on this, but it’s true.
  • After around one month of applying these basic tips, see if anyone notices or tells you that you seem happier or more fun to be with. Or, perhaps you will start to be invited out more or included in experiences you were not in the past. If this happens, you will know your authentic sparkle is starting to kick into gear for you.

Whether you want to have more authentic sparkle or hire someone who possesses it, I hope my take on how to go about upping your sparkle will work for you, or allow you to find people to hire which have this trait. One last hint, people who have “Woo” or “Positivity” in their Gallup Strengths Top 5, generally will have the authentic sparkle you are looking for.

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of MarketMe Too.  She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, author of Wisdom Whisperer, and is a well-respected motivational and social influencer who has a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances.

Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and bridging teams (sports & business). What does this do for our clients? It provides them with an acceleration boost to reach their goals sooner, and interact with a renewed efficiency, focus and energy level.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Our coaching produces repeatable, measurable and amazing results personally and professionally. Need proof? Just talk to our clients, or read through our testimonials.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

(5) Tips to prepare you for good things to happen

 We all daydream about ‘What If’ fill-in-the-blank happens in a positive way, but what if even a small percentage of the good things you imagine actually happen? Are you ready to enjoy and embrace them? Why is it that it seems some people have an overabundance of good things happen to them?  Are they just luckier than others, or perhaps on a more positive ‘wavelength’ which brings about more fortunate circumstances?

Certainly, some people are better at designing circumstances than others, but some of what happens to us is outside of our control. Thinking positively can have a significant impact on your life. I have personally experienced too many instances not to believe in the power of how thinking and being positive has incredible influence over the situation, and the reverse when I was more negative.

Envisioning positive outcomes can actually influence what happens. Take, for example, how, when you leave your house in morning in a bad mood, how it seems like more negative things turn up along the way – there’s more traffic than usual, your favorite parking spot is already occupied, the person in front of you buys the last muffin at the coffee shop, you show up later than planned . . .

Conversely, if you have a great attitude either in the morning, or any part of the day, doesn’t it seem like everything seems to go much better? You hit all green lights on the way to work, your favorite song is playing on the radio, a parking spot right near the door is waiting, you arrive early, holding your favorite pastry . . . and smiling!

Stop to think about this concept from either a negative or positive perspective, and I will bet you would certainly want to have more of the latter, both at home and at work. You can!  Here are some tips to help you do this.

  1. Check your attitude as you would your pulse either in the morning, or at any point during the day when you find yourself either not thinking positively, or as optimistically as you could be.

 

  1. If your thinking is negative, stop and reframe the situation. Tell yourself the outcome is going to be fine and work out well. You will be pleasantly surprised at how this simple shift in your mindset can bring about a much more desirable outcome.

 

  1. Negative thinking run amok? Literally stop what you are doing; if possible, and step away from what you are doing. Take a deep breath and then breathe in and out ten times to the count of ten on each breath. I’m not sure of physiologically how this has such a powerfully positive outcome, but it has worked wonders more times than you can imagine. Try it!

 

  1. Create a vision board full of pictures, or jot down a few scenarios and think about how you want the circumstances to play out. When these things happen, you will be prepared to deal with them, especially when they are positive ‘What Ifs’.

 

  1. Talk to someone you trust about your ‘What If’ thinking. They might have some phenomenal suggestions that will enhance the experience and outcomes.

 

Being prepared to handle both positive and seemingly-not-so-great scenarios, can serve you well.

I hope the negative ones do not outnumber the positive. If they do, start making sure your positive ‘What Ifs’ are at least a three to one ratio. Having more positive ‘What Ifs’ will make you feel better, and keep you focused on a more pleasant professional and personal life.

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of MarketMe Too.  She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, author of Wisdom Whisperer, and is a well-respected motivational and social influencer who has a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances.

Her expertise is in uniting, motivating and bridging teams (sports & business). What does this do for her clients? It provides them with an acceleration boost to reach their goals sooner, and interact with a renewed efficiency, focus and energy level.

Market Me Too also works with and coach’s individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams she works with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Her coaching produces repeatable, measurable and amazing results personally and professionally. Need proof? Just talk to her clients, or read through their testimonials.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. I know how to help you get them. Contact me at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

 

 

 

What makes you stand out?

Perhaps you have heard the expression, that person really stands out in a crowd. Depending on how you think about hearing this, it could be a positive thing, or perhaps a negative one. I generally look at this as a good thing, with the caveat that the person standing out is not harming themselves or anyone else.

In the US, our culture generally embraces people being unique, or at least accepting or tolerating this at some level. We are fortunate to be living in a country that is more open minded than some other places in the world. However, we also know there are certain places in our country that are more accepting of people’s differences than others.

Consider yourself fortunate if you happen to live in a place that embraces people being different. If you do not live in such a place, you will have to consider becoming more comfortable with your uniqueness, or in an extreme situation, relocate. Let’s hope you do not have to do this, but generally putting yourself in a more positive environment is what we should all be striving to do.

So, what makes you stand out? This might not be something you think about every day. However, it is a good exercise to go through, as it focuses you on the aspects of who you are, how you look at your world, how you approach each situation and perhaps how you want the world to view you. The good news is that there is no one right way to stand out, and I’m referring to standing out as part of what helps to define your personal brand.

We are living at a point in time when self-branding has become something everyone has to consider, not just celebrities and famous people who have professionals managing their image. Whether you engage with social media or not, a large percentage of the population does, and this engagement is part of what directly and indirectly impacts their image, or personal brand.

Since most people are not professional brand managers, they can in fact take on and better understand the aspects of managing a brand, their brand. Ways to do this start with becoming aware of the type of image you are portraying via social media. It’s best to think twice before you post either images or content which can have a negative impact on you. I don’t think I need to spell this out in terms of what the specifics are. However, if you even think for a nano-second and have a hint of doubt about posting something, don’t. Yes, it’s that simple.

Now, if you want to stand out, and do so in a way which is going to be perceived as being positive, then there are numerous ways to do this, and here are some suggestions about how to do so in a way which will not cause you angst, or regret.

  • Before you post content, think about whether the content could be perceived as content which could be hurtful, to anyone. If it is, then don’t post it.
  • Sure, you may think you should be posting all of your social partying images at that moment in time, but I can tell you, images like these have caused people that were going to be hired, to get cut from the list of candidates to hire.
  • If you do any sort of volunteer work, and if it is conducive to showing the work via a photo, by all means, post this photo. This is the type of image which can absolutely help your personal brand image.
  • Perhaps you won some type of award either at work or in your community. It’s perfectly fine to tell others about this, and toss in a photo if the award is something which can be photographed.
  • Share information on your social feeds about others who are doing good things for other people. Give them a shout-out for being good at what they are doing, or because they are doing something positive for others. We need more good news to off-set all the bad news we are bombarded with on a daily basis.
  • If you have a hobby, and it is one you can teach others, consider offering to teach it to others by letting them know you will do this via your social feeds. Of course, you can limit this offer, but simply making the offer is what will help to make you stand out in a positive manner.

Standing out can sometimes have a negative perception, but it doesn’t have to. As a matter of fact, being different and standing out is something we should all become more comfortable with doing. Why? Because at various points in our life, we will need to stand out more at times than others. If we are comfortable with doing so, this will serve us very well.

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of MarketMe Too.  She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, author of Wisdom Whisperer, and is a well-respected motivational and social influencer who has a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances.

Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and strengthening teams (sports & business). What does this do for our clients? It provides them with an acceleration boost to reach their goals sooner, and interact with a renewed efficiency, focus and energy level.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Our coaching produces repeatable, measurable and amazing results personally and professionally. Need proof? Just talk to our clients, or read through our testimonials.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

 

TV debut of my book Wisdom Whisperer!

Thank you Dacey Zouzas for having me on your show Dacey’s Divas on February 22, 2019 to be interviewed about my first book Wisdom Whisperer.

During this interview you will learn about what inspired me to write this book, learn some new things about me as an author, why I started my business Market Me Too, and what drives me to help people and their teams (Business & Sports) to become more united, motivated and stronger.

Enjoy the show!

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of MarketMe Too.  She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, author of Wisdom Whisperer, and is a well-respected motivational and social influencer who has a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances.

Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and reinvigorating teams (sports & business). What does this do for our clients? It provides them with an acceleration boost to reach their goals sooner, and interact with a renewed efficiency, focus and energy level.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Our coaching produces repeatable, measurable and amazing results personally and professionally. Need proof? Just talk to our clients, or read through our testimonials.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

 

Are you are Praiser? You should be.

Even constructive criticism can be harmful. Contrasting criticism with a genuine comment which is positive and actual praise, can do wonders for someone. Especially their confidence. Let’s face it, just about everyone can benefit from a confidence booster every now and then.

I read an article this weekend about women in business. Essentially the article boiled down to the fact that women are much less apt to give praise to other women. This applies both in the office, and outside of it too. What a shame this is happening. It doesn’t have to, and even though the article focused on women, men can be equally stingy about giving out praise.

Unfortunately given our current office climate, men are probably afraid or concerned about praise being misconstrued in a negative way, and potentially used against them. I can understand why they might be hesitant to do so. However, sincerely giving out praise in a “Switzerland-like” neutral way is possible to do. It takes a bit more effort to think through constructing the comment, but it is worth it.

Back to the women. There are absolutely no excuses for them not to be giving more praise to one another. Some theorists would suggest women do not compliment one another because they are fiercely competitive with one another. In just about all situations. As a woman, I can definitively tell you I have seen this happen first hand.

I cringe when I think about having witnessed a missed opportunity to praise someone, or a team. However, I’m not one to just stand by the sideline and keep quiet about what I see. Instead, I speak privately to the person who was the lack of praise culprit, at a later point in time.

When I speak with them, I gently explain to them about how damaging their lack of praise can be. I also point out that when praise is not given, they are missing out on an incredible opportunity to elevate another person. In fact, women should be the first ones to be supporting one another, although the concept of praising others is gender neutral.

People can thrive in so many different ways. One of the best ways to do so is via having others support them through basic and sincere praise. Think about an instance that sticks out in your mind about a time when someone provided you with genuine praise. It felt great, didn’t it? It should have. However, it’s a fleeting feeling, and needs to be fueled by more praise. Which as we have established is easy to give, and should be given far more often than it is.

There is no need to be stingy with praise. To be crystal clear, I also don’t believe or support the school of tough luck or love. I have yet to see how this type of management or coaching style of interaction is more effective than a highly supportive and encouraging environment. In fact, I have seen teams who are managed with an iron fist, and directly or indirectly through words or actions told they are essentially not good enough. The results? A slow and painful destruction of the team’s morale, character and worse, self-esteem.

When a team is ruled, and deprived of praise, I have seen the business numbers typically prove out negative performance results. In this case, I’m referring to a sales team, but other types of teams (e.g., sports, customer success, marketing, engineering, product development) are also negatively impacted in other ways from lack of praise. For instance, their productivity and creativity levels are usually way off.

The worst part about the management types who operate with a little to non-existent praise philosophy, is that they are generally blind to the negative impact they are having. What a tragedy for those who are under this type of management style.

Is it possible to turn around a person whose leadership or management style is absent of praise? Of course, it is. Is it easy to do this? Yes, and no. Yes, if they are willing to be open to trying another approach which will yield better and different results. No, if they are closed minded and think only they have all of the answers.

Being a consummate optimist, I always give everyone the benefit of being willing to change for the better. I have even seen some real-life miracles of leaders and coaches who have been willing to change. What did they do? They adopted and applied what I refer to as a “Praiser Strategy Approach”. Guess what the results were?  In a word, amazing!

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of MarketMe Too.  She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, author of Wisdom Whisperer, and is a well-respected motivational and social influencer who has a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances.

Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and reinvigorating teams (sports & business). What does this do for our clients? It provides them with an acceleration boost to reach their goals sooner, and interact with a renewed efficiency, focus and energy level.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Our coaching produces repeatable, measurable and amazing results personally and professionally. Need proof? Just talk to our clients, or read through our testimonials.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.