Tips on how to deal with disappointment.

Think about the last time you received disappointing news or were disappointed by someone, something or yourself. Chances are the news put a damper on your day or spirits, and perhaps you continued to dwell on the disappointment, whether you wanted to or not.

Disappointments of any type are never fun to deal with, but how you handle them can be a game changer, literally. A fundamental thing to keep in mind when it comes to disappointments is that you have more control over them than you perhaps think you do. How is this possible? It’s possible because the way you deal with the news or situation is completely under your control, you simply have to embrace this fact.

Just about every day when I talk to people about how their day is going, I can sense when they are contending with something that happened to them which was less than desirable. Or, perhaps not the expected outcome they anticipated. Generally, if they are open to discussing what is on their mind, and it has to do with something negative, you can see a sense of relief on their face by discussing what is mentally beating them up.

Athletes are often very tough on themselves when something they did or that negatively happened to their team occurred. When this happens, I have seen them almost physically go into what I will refer to as neutral gear. My analogy of going into neutral gear isn’t the place they want to be, as it is a place where they get stuck, or park themselves into a place they cannot get out of. When this happens, they tend to lose focus, become less competitive than they normally are, and their performance is noticeably negatively impacted. This same thing can also happen to professionals in the workforce too.

So, how do I recommend to the athlete or professional person who is stuck in neutral gear how to get out of this gear and move onto first gear? Here are (5) things I teach them to do:

  1. Acknowledge the disappointment, but commit to moving on and not dwelling on it.
  2. Apply the 6-8-2 method used by many professional trainers and athletes. Breathe in for six seconds, breathe out for eight second and repeat this again. While doing this focus on what is disappointing you, and mentally tell yourself to release and move on from this thinking.
  3. Write down what you are disappointed about. Then write down one to two ways you can either deal with the disappointment, or turn the disappointment into a learning opportunity you can gain value from.
  4. Share your disappointment with someone else. Doing this allows you to release your mind from continuously thinking about the situation. By sharing your thinking about what has disappointed you, the listener also gains from the learning, and has a feedback opportunity. Their feedback might have some strong and valid suggestions on how to deal with your disappointment differently.
  5. Leverage the negative energy invested in your disappointment to fuel doing something better, or more positive for you or someone else.

I am not saying doing all five of the above things will magically make you feel better, but doing one or more of them will in fact allow you to move beyond your mind trapping you in neutral gear. In both work and sports, no one wants to be stuck in neutral gear, as you need to be continuously moving forward to make progress.

When you do not dwell on your disappointments, you will find that when they do occur, you will have developed the ability to make dealing with them much easier. Keep this in mind the next time disappointment strikes, and don’t let it get the best of you. You’re in control.

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT: My second book has been published! It is called                  Evolve! With the Wisdom Whisperer . This book and my first one Wisdom Whisperer are both available on Amazon. They make great gifts, and everyone needs a Mentor!

 

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of Market Me Too.  She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Finder Coachauthor of Wisdom Whispererand is a well-respected motivational and social influencer with a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances. She also is the creator and Host of a TV Show and Podcast called Murf & E Unfiltered – Zero BS Biz Talk.

Essentially every team is dysfunctional in some way. Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and bridging dysfunctional teams (sports & business), and turning them into epic ones.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Our coaching produces repeatable, measurable and amazing results personally and professionally. Need proof? Just talk to our clients, or read through our testimonials.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

“NEW!” Guide for Teams:

Every team is dysfunctional at some point.  Click on the link below to obtain a “free guide” with (5) Proven Strategies To Turn Your Dysfunctional Team Into An Epic One

 

Tips on how to deal with disappointment

Overview:

No one is immune from dealing with disappointment. The factor which sets people apart, is how they deal with their disappointment. There are better ways to deal with it than you may be currently doing. Find out what they are.

I will be posting this article on Thursday, and making a BIG announcement that day too!

Have a wonderful week everyone.

-Kathleen

www.MarketMeToo.net

 

Who are you?

I love change. Most people don’t. However, when you embrace change, and become comfortable with it, I guarantee you will have a completely different outlook on just about everything. This includes how you perceive yourself.

When I talk to people about how they perceive themselves, I’m always amazed at how often their perception is so different than from how I see them. Generally, they do not see the positive side of how they present themselves. They also overlook some of their best qualities which make them unique. Strangely, it’s like they have a completely different mirror they are looking in than I do.

So, how is it that people don’t know who they are, or how to properly convey who they are when asked to do so? Perhaps it is because this isn’t a question they regularly have to address. Or, possibly they have not taken the time to think about how they contribute their talents to others in this world? Maybe they don’t think this is something to invest time in doing? The list of possible reasons why is infinite.

If I were to ask you to tell me about who you are, would you comfortably be able to do so? How would you tell me your “about me” story? Chances are, your story today is different than you thought it would be if you were asked this same question ten years ago. How did this happen, and are you happy about your “new” story about you?

Ironically, the majority of people have a difficult time articulating their story of who they are. This is different from your “value proposition” (https://wp.me/p8nYG1-4r), as this is a concept more appropriately reserved to tell your professional story. However, it doesn’t have to be, and it can help you to frame out your “who am I” story.

The reality is that situations in our life change. This in turn can have an impact on our life, and consequently how we might perceive ourselves. However, we shouldn’t let circumstances dictate the impact it has on the core foundation of how we would describe ourselves.

Do we need to know how to describe who we are? My opinion is that we do. When we have the ability to do so, and are proud of who we are, and the journey it took to get us to this place, it puts us in both a mentally and physically better life situation. When we are in a positive frame of mind about our life, it has been scientifically proven to strongly impact our health and propel it into a better direction.

Are there things you can do to help yourself figure out who you are? Of course, there are. Is it ever too early or too late to do this? No. Do we need help from others to figure out who we are? Yes, and no. Some people are more oriented to figuring things out on their own, versus asking for help. However, let me be clear that there is nothing wrong with asking for help. It depends on your comfort level in doing so. Ideally, asking for help should be easy to do. Although I know for many people this is hard to do.

If you are curious or interested, here are some ideas about how to start figuring out who you are.

  • Take the Gallup StrengthsFinder Survey to determine what your Top (5) Strengths are. You will receive two detailed reports explaining what your strengths are all about. The best part? It’s only a $20 investment to do so!
  • There are many “free” on-line personality tests, and they are fun to take. This can give you further support in helping to define, or redefine who you are.
  • Ask people you are close to describe who you are. Even better, have them write down a few words or sentences to help you see from their perspective who you are. I recommend reciprocating this for the person you asked to provide you with this information.
  • Write down words that you think describe who you are (e.g., kind, friendly, optimistic, sensitive, intelligent, creative). Keep a running list, and refer back to it from time to time. Be realistic with your word choices. Some of them might not be ones you are happy with. However, you can always work on trying to modify the less than desirable ones. Or, I highly recommend focusing more attention on the ones you are happy with.

Being confused or uncertain about who we are is something which impacts everyone at different points in their life. You are not alone with this reality. Even people who seem to have what you would consider to be the “perfect” life, may not in fact really know who they are.

When you do figure out who you are at the core level, and your core is the bedrock foundation of your true self, I know you will have new insight into what makes you the incredible person you are.

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of Market Me Too.  She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Finder Coachauthor of Wisdom Whispererand is a well-respected motivational and social influencer with a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances. She also is the creator and Host of a TV Show and Podcast called Murf & E Unfiltered – Zero BS Biz Talk.

Essentially every team is dysfunctional in some way. Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and bridging dysfunctional teams (sports & business), and turning them into epic ones.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Our coaching produces repeatable, measurable and amazing results personally and professionally. Need proof? Just talk to our clients, or read through our testimonials.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

“NEW!” Guide for Teams:

Every team is dysfunctional at some point.  Click on the link below to obtain a “free guide” with (5) Proven Strategies To Turn Your Dysfunctional Team Into An Epic One

 

 

 

Who are you?

Happy Monday!

This week’s article “Who are you?” will be fully available on Thursday, with the overview coming out on Wednesday. This one has tips, and I think you will find it to be thought provoking.

Remember to “Like” and “Share” my article when it comes out on Thursday, December 5, 2019. Thank you.

Quick Update:

I’m finalizing book #2 this week, and will be making a “soft” launch announcement about it being available on Amazon very soon! Hint, prior to the holidays. 😉

 

-Kathy

MarketMeToo.net

 

Who’s in your tribe? Do you have one?

Just about every day I hear from someone in what I will refer to as ‘my tribe’. My tribe consists of people who I rely upon professionally, and for a variety of different talent sets. There are numerous other terms which could be potentially applied to describe this group, but I kind of like this term. Why? Mainly because it encompasses multiple dimensions of the varied professional reasons people are in my tribe.

Others might prefer to use the term professional network, but when I use the words professional tribe, I’m thinking of a much different type of network. The people in your professional tribe may in fact filter in an out of it. Consider the expression I recently heard about relationships. Some people are in your life for a reason, some a season and some for a lifetime. This reference describes my thinking about my tribe quite well.

How do people end up in your tribe? The expression above helps to summarize how it happens. I think of tribes as being an organic experience. One that you don’t have to think too much about. It simply evolves. In my opinion, if you rely upon your instincts, you will have the right type of people you need in your tribe to be there when you need them to be.

For instance, this morning I received a text from someone in my tribe who was asking for advice on how to handle an employment scenario. My advice was to think about how the receiver of the information would value the information being shared. I asked them to consider if their response would strengthen their brand, have a neutral impact, or detract from how they are perceived.

If you have the advantage of meeting new people often, and even if you do not, you should always be seeking out opportunities to do so. For the record, I’m always thinking about when I meet someone if I want them to be part of my tribe. Yes, this may seem self-serving, but I don’t look at it that way. I look at it from the perspective of how we can mutually and positively impact one another professionally by being aligned. When I think about my alliances from this point of view, the relationship generally ends up being a solid and balanced one.

In one of my recent articles called “Who Balances You”, I talked about the importance of having people in your life sphere who help you to have a more balanced life. When we are out of balance, it tends to negatively impact multiple areas in our life. If you have any experience with walking…yes, I’m being sarcastic, when you are walking and feeling unsteady, this is the same principle as not having balance in your life. It’s easy enough to correct this, but occasionally we need some support to put us back on track to feel steady.

Most people have some form of a tribe, and the tribes we have are often separated personally and professionally. Some are mixed, and this can have benefits and drawbacks. I would argue there are more benefits to having mixed personal and professional tribes. Think about it from this perspective. Do you have someone you work with that you would consider to be a good friend? Perhaps a best friend? I hope you do, as this person can make being at work much more satisfying, especially on the days when you might be struggling with something.

Even if your work friend tribe member isn’t at the same level professionally as you are, they will undoubtedly have insights and be a good listener. If you are lucky, more often than not, they might even have some good advice for you. Although, sometimes you are not in need of advice, and it’s OK to tell them that. Since the nature of my work often involves coaching, and making suggestions and providing advice when asked, it’s critical to keep in mind not everyone wants to hear our advice or guidance.

Some people like to figure things out on their own, and don’t respond well when others attempt to help them. Knowing this, I often will ask someone if they really want advice given to them. This is always a good strategy to apply, and both parties will be happier if the “upfront contract” of understanding what the other person really wants or needs is respected.

I consider myself fortunate to have a wide tribe of people I count on for support from both a professional and personal perspective. Take some time today to consider and be thankful for those who are in your tribe. You are lucky to have them in it, and I’m sure others feel that way about you too.

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of Market Me Too.  She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Finder Coachauthor of Wisdom Whispererand is a well-respected motivational and social influencer with a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances. She also is the creator and Host of a TV Show and Podcast called Murf & E Unfiltered – Zero BS Biz Talk.

Essentially every team is dysfunctional in some way. Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and bridging dysfunctional teams (sports & business), and turning them into epic ones.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Our coaching produces repeatable, measurable and amazing results personally and professionally. Need proof? Just talk to our clients, or read through our testimonials.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

“NEW!” Guide for Teams:

Every team is dysfunctional at some point.  Click on the link below to obtain a “free guide” with (5) Proven Strategies To Turn Your Dysfunctional Team Into An Epic One