Life interrupted.

I woke up this morning feeling different. Not because it’s my birthday tomorrow, but because our world feels different. Almost like everything feels like it is in slow motion, and much of it appearing surreal. It feels unsettling, especially since so much is unknown in terms of what lies ahead. Not just tomorrow, next week or even next year, but what the effects of everything will have on our society. Although the pandemonium is coming from a known source of the Corona Virus, its blanketing impact on so many areas of people’s lives is what has me concerned.

Dealing with the unknown has never been an issue for me. In fact, I’m very comfortable with change. I embrace it, and seek it out, and not being in control of everything has never been a challenge for me. I see my ability to deal with ambiguity as a strength, as it allows me to be adaptable. It also allows me to navigate and guide others who are less comfortable with change, and the unknown.

The way I look at the unknown is to see possibilities others do not have a lens on. I wouldn’t classify myself as a futurist by any stretch of the imagination, but what I do see is that the Corona Virus is potentially giving many people a gift.

What is the gift? The gift is to slow down. Or, perhaps hit the pause button, and to re-think what our true priorities are, while being able to have the time to focus on what matters. Of course, what matters to me may be entirely different from others. That’s the point. This is OK, as it shouldn’t and doesn’t have to matter to others what each of our priorities are. I’m also acknowledging that our priorities can and do change, particularly when we are faced with pending life and health uncertainties.

I’m an optimist, and as I expressed earlier, and yes, I see the Corona Virus causing pandemonium right now. However, in my experience when this happens; from a societal perspective, it can also be a catalyst to bring our divisive society together.

From my perspective, and to be clear, I’m referring to the global divisiveness we have been experiencing, but seen more closely to home in my own country of the United States. Although for the last decade it appears my country’s name suggests just the opposite of what I have been witnessing. My hope is that the Corona Virus may in fact help to bring us back together. To actually unite us again, and to unite us with the rest of the world in coming together while we are collectively working to figure out our “go forward” plan in the midst of the chaos that’s ensuing.

Although we have only been dealing with the Corona Virus for a relatively short period of time in the US, and our news sources could be characterized as providing mixed messaging on what we should collectively be doing, I’m personally going to focus on what I can positively have an impact on. Both for the benefit of me, my family, friends and people in my social and business network.

During this time of uncertainty, and if you are curious, below is what I will personally be doing to have an impact to help in my own way in the next few weeks or months:

  • Focusing intently on my family and making sure they remain healthy
  • Reaching out to friends and checking in on them to see what needs they have that I can help with
  • Leveraging social media to keep in touch responsibly with those I will not be able to interact with that are in the high-risk health category
  • Harnessing the power of the internet to be able to reach more people with my Wisdom Whisperer brand. Yes, this could appear to be self-serving, but my work is intended to be focused on helping and virtually mentoring others. For those of you who do not know this, I have a variety of channels I leverage to do this. They include writing (weekly blogging via MarketMeToo.net and MarketMeToo.blog, two books I have published – Wisdom Whisperer and Evolve! With the Wisdom Whisperer), speaking at conferences and to students, broadcasting (e.g., via my show called “Murf & E Unfiltered – Zero BS Biz Talk” found on my YouTube Channel found by searching for Murf & E Unfiltered), and through workshops and speaking engagements. I don’t normally share this, but I am also a trusted advisor to numerous executives and highly influential people in multiple industries around the globe, who regularly rely upon my advice and guidance.
  • Continuing to do pro-bono Gallup StrengthsFinder Coaching work
  • Mentoring people, some of which I have been mentoring for over 20 years
  • Keeping my eyes open for opportunities to help others I do not know, but that I can potentially help in some way with my professional talents.

My birthday gift to you:

  • Starting today, on St Patrick’s Day, I will be providing people with access to my calendar on Tuesday’s for the next two months through May 17, 2020 (for free, and for 15 minutes) to have me listen to them, or to give them advice on both work and life topics they do not have a solution to. Here is a link to my on-line calendar: https://calendly.com/kathymurphy

As we move forward in the coming weeks, please do you part to remain healthy, and help others if and when you can. One more thing. Please try your best to be optimistic about the outcome of what you are experiencing, or going to experience in the coming months. Everyone will benefit from your optimism, even if you have to work really hard at seeing the “glass half full” in the scenarios you will be facing. In my case, the gift I am getting from the Corona Virus this weekend, is that I’ll be with all three of our kids who normally live elsewhere, yet will be home with me instead to celebrate my birthday. Being together is the best gift ever!

Be well everyone, and I look forward to engaging with you soon, and of course only “virtually” at this point in time.

 

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of Market Me Too.  She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Finder Coachauthor of Wisdom Whisperer  and Evolve! With the Wisdom Whisperer (published in December 2019)and is a well-respected motivational and social influencer with a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances. She also is the creator and Host of a TV Show and Podcast called Murf & E Unfiltered – Zero BS Biz Talk.

Essentially every team is dysfunctional in some way. Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and bridging dysfunctional teams (sports & business), and turning them into epic ones.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Our coaching produces repeatable, measurable and amazing results personally and professionally. Need proof? Just talk to our clients, or read through our testimonials.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

“NEW!” Guide for Teams:

Every team is dysfunctional at some point.  Click on the link below to obtain a “free guide” with (5) Proven Strategies To Turn Your Dysfunctional Team Into An Epic One

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your perspective. How it can change for the better, and quickly.

Anyone who knows me well, knows I’m an optimist, and sharing a world with others who let’s say are not always as positive. Is this challenging for me? Sometimes it is, and in fact I do need to avoid people whose personality favors being negative. They draw down my positive energy, and no one needs others to deplete their energy.

Due to the fact my perspective favors a sunny outlook, even during times when you wouldn’t expect this, I tend to look at the world via a different lens than most. One of my favorite things to do is to help others, see what I see. Doing this provides me with the opportunity to verbally and sometimes visually paint a different perspective for the person I am speaking with.

Generally, after I have helped someone to change their perspective, I’m always amazed at their reaction. So much so, that there have been times I wanted to video what they were telling me. There was one time in particular when I was in the process of helping to change someone’s perspective. The conversation involved a parent relating to a young person on their son’s sports team that I was working with. I was working with the entire team and the coaching staff too.

According to the parent I was speaking with, her perception of the young man I was discussing was vastly different than the perspective she and other parents had. The parent was commenting on some of this young man’s choices, and only had a one-dimensional perspective of who he was. They saw him as a troublemaker. I saw him very differently, and so did his teammates and head coach. The young men on this person’s team thought very highly of him, and of his lacrosse skills. He had high emotional intelligence, was funny and possessed a great deal of energy. Yes, sometimes his energy got him into trouble when it wasn’t constructively guided.

When I was describing the positive attributes of this young man to the parent who didn’t know him, but who had heard stories about him, they were shocked at what I was telling them. What did I tell this parent? I told them this young man had incredible potential as both a person and athlete, and if he was well guided, had a shot at playing lacrosse on a college team.  Can you picture the look of someone staring at you in disbelief? This is what I was looking at.

The best part was that the parent told me they had not heard anything positive about the young man. However, based on what I was sharing with them about him, they admitted could now figure out why their son liked him. They apologized to me for thinking this young man was a troublemaker, and not a good teammate. The best part of this conversation occurred next. It was when this person said they were going to be a public relations champion for this young man. What were they going to do? They were going to talk to and tell the other parents on the team about what they had heard from me.  Hearing this made my heart melt, and I had to hold back tears when I heard this.

It’s conversations like this one that make helping others change or alter their perspective for the better, and quickly that makes me know there is hope for those who you can’t imagine their perspective changing.

So, can you help others like I do to change their perspective? Yes, and here are some tips on how to do so.

  • Ask the person if they would consider changing their perspective. Chances are no one has asked them to do so.
  • Get the person to explain why they think the way they do. Often, they do not realize their thinking has been manipulated by others, and they found it easier to go along with what I call “group thinking” versus independent thinking.
  • If the person’s perspective is negative, or can hurt others emotionally, ask them if this is their intention?
  • If the person you are speaking with is open to changing their perspective, thank them for being open to doing so. It’s not always easy for people to do this, but when they change their mind and perspective in a positive way, everyone wins.

Granted not everyone will be open to changing their perspectives. However, it will be worth the effort of trying to get them to do so. Especially when the outcome can continue to help, as illustrated in my example above. Don’t give up if your first attempt doesn’t go the way you want it to. If you are passionate about changing someone’s perspective, it will be worth pursuing making this happen.

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of Market Me Too.  She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Finder Coachauthor of Wisdom Whisperer  and Evolve! With the Wisdom Whisperer (published in December 2019)and is a well-respected motivational and social influencer with a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances. She also is the creator and Host of a TV Show and Podcast called Murf & E Unfiltered – Zero BS Biz Talk.

Essentially every team is dysfunctional in some way. Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and bridging dysfunctional teams (sports & business), and turning them into epic ones.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Our coaching produces repeatable, measurable and amazing results personally and professionally. Need proof? Just talk to our clients, or read through our testimonials.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

“NEW!” Guide for Teams:

Every team is dysfunctional at some point.  Click on the link below to obtain a “free guide” with (5) Proven Strategies To Turn Your Dysfunctional Team Into An Epic One

 

 

 

Who can you ask?

I’m a realist, and if you haven’t noticed, I write and talk about a variety of topics which others might not talk about, and perhaps ones you would rather avoid thinking about, or postpone for as long as possible. My perspective is that someone has to have their “big girl pants” on. This means covering subjects which are the equivalent of vegetables when you are a kid, versus the candy you might have preferred.

Have you learned it is better to face tough topics head on, than to run away from them? If not, I can tell you it is.  Yes, it is not easy to do this, but it beats the alternative of continuous avoidance. Are you guilty of this, or do you know someone who is? Where does that get you or them? Not far.

Although it might not have happened to you yet, there will come a time in your career when you are going to have to seek out a person who is going to be able to play the role of a trusted advisor. You might not have considered the need for this person to be in your life, but I highly encourage you to begin looking for and identifying them. Why? Because this person will be the life raft you will need to get you through a very difficult professional situation, or help you to navigate a decision which could alter the course of your career.

Do you have someone in mind who could play this role? If not, would you know how to go about determining who this person should be? Potentially it might be two people, but often it is one individual.

Let’s think about some of the characteristics we would want someone to have who is going to be our trusted advisor.

  • The no brainer part is they need to be trust worthy.
  • They need to have a proven record of being there for you when it really mattered. A parent or guardian often plays this role, but this person is someone in your professional sphere.
  • You should also have will have cultivated a relationship with them, and perhaps they already played an advisory role for you at some point.

Additional criterion for selecting your trusted advisor is:

  • Having excellent judgement, and a solid record of having made good decisions.
  • Being strategic, and having the ability to see the big picture, especially when it is critical for them to do so.
  • They are able to clearly communicate options for you to consider.
  • They need to be both supportive and realistic.
  • Understanding you well, and how you professionally operate will be helpful, as they will have better insight into the ramifications of your decision or scenario options.
  • Being ethically minded.
  • Operating from a place of looking out for your best interests.
  • Taking a long-range approach to decision making, versus a short-term gain.
  • Having experience with potentially the situation you are in is a bonus, as they will have clearer insight into how the outcome of your scenario could play out.

I remember hearing from one of the CEO’s I worked for about how he thought he had identified a group of trusted advisors. He found out he was wrong. In fact, he only had one. However, one was all he needed. His take away from this experience at first was shocking, and it occurred when the Board of Directors fired him. When he sought out advice from the people he thought were his trusted advisors about what his go forward plan should be, he had severely underestimated who he could count on.

How was this CEO so blind or caught off guard when he sought the advice he needed? Some of the reasons have to do with the criteria above not being factored in early enough, and prior to needing the trusted advisor to be in place.

Preparing to have your trusted advisor can also be compared to having a life insurance policy. No one really wants to have one, but it is the responsible thing to do, and you will not regret having one in place. You will regret not having your trusted advisor in place when you find yourself in need to consult with them. Don’t get caught off guard like the CEO I referenced.

Right now, you have the time now to invest in finding your trusted advisor. You will not regret having them in place when that day comes along when you will need to enlist their support.  I guarantee you this, and as we know, there are not many guarantees issued in life or business.

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of Market Me Too.  She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Finder Coachauthor of Wisdom Whisperer  and Evolve! With the Wisdom Whisperer (published in December 2019)and is a well-respected motivational and social influencer with a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances. She also is the creator and Host of a TV Show and Podcast called Murf & E Unfiltered – Zero BS Biz Talk.

Essentially every team is dysfunctional in some way. Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and bridging dysfunctional teams (sports & business), and turning them into epic ones.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Our coaching produces repeatable, measurable and amazing results personally and professionally. Need proof? Just talk to our clients, or read through our testimonials.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

“NEW!” Guide for Teams:

Every team is dysfunctional at some point.  Click on the link below to obtain a “free guide” with (5) Proven Strategies To Turn Your Dysfunctional Team Into An Epic One

 

Top performers are always learning. Do you know why?

There is a lot to admire when someone is at the top of their game. Whether it is in business or in sports. Typically, what they are doing looks like they are doing it with ease, and a finesse which is often hard to describe. Do you know someone like this, and do you know how they got there?

I’ll grant you credit for being able to name a few things which have made the people you admire, and who are at the top of their game, but I bet you will be surprised by some of the other reasons. Why? Because the truth is there is no one particular way for anyone to be at the apex of their “game” or profession. However, there are some fundamental and common denominators which most top performers have in common.

If you were to take a look into the lives of top athletes, you will find one of the most common traits they have is a desire to always be competing at something. They thrive when they are challenged to strive and to do what it takes to win. Achievement is a byproduct of being competitive, but it doesn’t always mean winning. However, being focused on achievement is also another trait athletes have in common. Neither being competitive or achievement focused should be surprising elements of successful athletes, but some of the other reasons might surprise you.

After working with and being around athletes and top business people for decades, the single item they all possess is the desire to always be learning. The type of learning they individually do varies significantly, but most of the time it is related to the work they are doing. Both athletes and business people can benefit from understanding and applying leadership principles, and this is one of the areas they are often focused on learning more about.

Since there are various types of leadership approaches and styles, most will focus on one that is most suitable for their personality and the environment they are in. Considering leadership takes place both on and off the court, and in and outside of the office, it is a skill which needs continuous refinement and practice. It is also why you find many successful athletes pursuing second careers as high achieving executives. This of course applies to both men and women.

Another common reason top performers attain their levels of success has to do with their ability to focus on the big picture. To be able to do this requires a certain amount of strategic ability. Although some strategy can be taught, the best strategists are innately gifted in this area. Learning about strategy and how and when to apply it is also one of the other factors contributing to people’s success at the height of their respective careers, but not always.

Top performers are also supported as they are perfecting their skills by many others, and they also have the ability to recognize which ones will contribute significantly to their success. Again, this is a skill honed by years of subtlety observing how other people’s skills can contribute to making your skills stronger. This isn’t taught, but it is something top performers are able to recognize and extract from those who coach, support, work and play with and manage them.

If you are tasked with determining who will become a top performer, or seeking those who are what I will refer to as being “under the radar” as a top performer on the performance field or in the working world, here are some questions to ask to find out if you are in front of a top performer in the making:

  • How have or do you stand out from others?
  • What motivates you to strive for top performance?
  • Tell me about your leadership philosophy.
  • Talk to me about the types of content which inspires you to grow.
  • What does achievement mean to you?
  • How would you describe the feeling of being competitive?
  • What vision do you have for yourself and others you play/work with?
  • Do you know how to inspire others? If so, how do you do this?
  • Do you know which people to include or exclude from your circle of excellence?
  • What happens when your performance isn’t consistent? Do you know how to course correct this?
  • How engaged are you with your teammates/colleagues/leadership group?

I could add numerous other questions, but some or all of these should be helpful in identifying top performers in the making. More importantly is to be sure not to only lean on reviewing pure performance stats, as there will be many top performers who may not have the typical stats or the traditional professional experience yet to identify them.

Keep in mind that many top performers begin to shine later in their sports and professional careers, so it is critical to not rule people out who are the “under the radar” top performers in the making.

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of Market Me Too.  She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Finder Coachauthor of Wisdom Whisperer  and Evolve! With the Wisdom Whisperer (published in December 2019)and is a well-respected motivational and social influencer with a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances. She also is the creator and Host of a TV Show and Podcast called Murf & E Unfiltered – Zero BS Biz Talk.

Essentially every team is dysfunctional in some way. Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and bridging dysfunctional teams (sports & business), and turning them into epic ones.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Our coaching produces repeatable, measurable and amazing results personally and professionally. Need proof? Just talk to our clients, or read through our testimonials.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

“NEW!” Guide for Teams:

Every team is dysfunctional at some point.  Click on the link below to obtain a “free guide” with (5) Proven Strategies To Turn Your Dysfunctional Team Into An Epic One

 

 

Tips on how to deal with disappointment.

Think about the last time you received disappointing news or were disappointed by someone, something or yourself. Chances are the news put a damper on your day or spirits, and perhaps you continued to dwell on the disappointment, whether you wanted to or not.

Disappointments of any type are never fun to deal with, but how you handle them can be a game changer, literally. A fundamental thing to keep in mind when it comes to disappointments is that you have more control over them than you perhaps think you do. How is this possible? It’s possible because the way you deal with the news or situation is completely under your control, you simply have to embrace this fact.

Just about every day when I talk to people about how their day is going, I can sense when they are contending with something that happened to them which was less than desirable. Or, perhaps not the expected outcome they anticipated. Generally, if they are open to discussing what is on their mind, and it has to do with something negative, you can see a sense of relief on their face by discussing what is mentally beating them up.

Athletes are often very tough on themselves when something they did or that negatively happened to their team occurred. When this happens, I have seen them almost physically go into what I will refer to as neutral gear. My analogy of going into neutral gear isn’t the place they want to be, as it is a place where they get stuck, or park themselves into a place they cannot get out of. When this happens, they tend to lose focus, become less competitive than they normally are, and their performance is noticeably negatively impacted. This same thing can also happen to professionals in the workforce too.

So, how do I recommend to the athlete or professional person who is stuck in neutral gear how to get out of this gear and move onto first gear? Here are (5) things I teach them to do:

  1. Acknowledge the disappointment, but commit to moving on and not dwelling on it.
  2. Apply the 6-8-2 method used by many professional trainers and athletes. Breathe in for six seconds, breathe out for eight second and repeat this again. While doing this focus on what is disappointing you, and mentally tell yourself to release and move on from this thinking.
  3. Write down what you are disappointed about. Then write down one to two ways you can either deal with the disappointment, or turn the disappointment into a learning opportunity you can gain value from.
  4. Share your disappointment with someone else. Doing this allows you to release your mind from continuously thinking about the situation. By sharing your thinking about what has disappointed you, the listener also gains from the learning, and has a feedback opportunity. Their feedback might have some strong and valid suggestions on how to deal with your disappointment differently.
  5. Leverage the negative energy invested in your disappointment to fuel doing something better, or more positive for you or someone else.

I am not saying doing all five of the above things will magically make you feel better, but doing one or more of them will in fact allow you to move beyond your mind trapping you in neutral gear. In both work and sports, no one wants to be stuck in neutral gear, as you need to be continuously moving forward to make progress.

When you do not dwell on your disappointments, you will find that when they do occur, you will have developed the ability to make dealing with them much easier. Keep this in mind the next time disappointment strikes, and don’t let it get the best of you. You’re in control.

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT: My second book has been published! It is called                  Evolve! With the Wisdom Whisperer . This book and my first one Wisdom Whisperer are both available on Amazon. They make great gifts, and everyone needs a Mentor!

 

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of Market Me Too.  She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Finder Coachauthor of Wisdom Whispererand is a well-respected motivational and social influencer with a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances. She also is the creator and Host of a TV Show and Podcast called Murf & E Unfiltered – Zero BS Biz Talk.

Essentially every team is dysfunctional in some way. Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and bridging dysfunctional teams (sports & business), and turning them into epic ones.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Our coaching produces repeatable, measurable and amazing results personally and professionally. Need proof? Just talk to our clients, or read through our testimonials.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

“NEW!” Guide for Teams:

Every team is dysfunctional at some point.  Click on the link below to obtain a “free guide” with (5) Proven Strategies To Turn Your Dysfunctional Team Into An Epic One