(6) Ways to turn up your aspirational thinking.

There are plenty of people to want to be like, but what if you are like me?  Someone who has always seemed to have a foggy image of who I wanted to be when I grew up?

Like many little girls, I wanted to be like my Mother.  I have always admired her many incredible qualities.

However, she was in an entirely different profession than I was, so aspiring to be like her professionally was not possible.  She was a nurse and I have always been a business person. My Father was a businessman, but I still am not sure exactly what he did. He never talked about his work. So, wanting to be like someone who does not communicate about their work is difficult, but I absolutely wished to have his and my Mother’s work ethics, which were both impressive.

I believe it is natural to want to be like someone you admire, especially if it helps to motivate you in some way.

I wanted to be like my parents based on some of the aspects of how they modeled their behavior, and which I admired.

Over the years, as a business professional, I had few other females to look to as role models. They were not physically present throughout the majority of my career.

However, there have been a few women who significantly and positively influenced my career. One of them is Myra Hart. Myra was my first real boss when I was working at the corporate headquarters of Staples. This was at the time when Staples had only four stores and were in the process of taking the office supply industry through an enormous paradigm shift.

Myra was the only “C” level woman executive on the team, and she and co-founder Tom Stemberg were both newly-minted Harvard Business School graduates.

Myra was the only woman executive, so I carefully watched her style of interacting with the other executives, and how she led our Growth and Development team.

Since I did not have anyone to compare Myra’s management style to, I was able to, later on, model from her management style in the leadership roles I have had. There were a couple of other business women who influenced me and who I aspired to be like.  As my management career progressed, I realized there wasn’t anyone else I wanted to model.

This was an epiphany, and made me realize I had to strike out on my own and simply make a commitment to be the best I could be at whatever I chose to pursue, including serving as an inspirational and motivational leader for others. I am on my way to do this as I write these words, so keep your eye out for me in places you might not expect to see me.

Having goals and finding people or things that inspire you are important tools, and can serve as your compass when you need them.

You may not be in a place right now where you have a person or something to inspire you, but keep on the lookout as most people can benefit from having one or both of these.

Something that kept me motivated was the ability to travel outside of the United States. I was able to start accomplishing this dream when I was in my early 30s, and have continued to leverage travel as an inspirational tool.

Here are six things to think about when trying to determine what can help you decide what you want to do professionally, or personally.

  1. Print, or cut out images that inspire you, or that you aspire to either possess, or be like in the future. Place them on a piece of poster board, and in a location, you can look at it every day, or on days when you need visual inspiration.

 

  1. Create a list of people you admire.

 

  1. Write down the characteristics of the people or things you want to be doing. Use this list as inspiration.

 

  1. Think about some of the qualities or characteristics you already possess which will help drive you towards who or what you aspire to be, or do. Chances are, you have more of them than you might think.

 

  1. Have you considered whether you might be someone that other people aspire to be like? Perhaps people have told you they admire you, your work or something you have a talent for.

 

  1. Set a realistic goal to work towards achieving what you want to do, and then keep yourself accountable. This takes discipline, but it will be worth the effort.

Now that you have some ideas about how to map out having someone or something to aspire achieving, don’t just give this lip service or put the idea up on a shelf, go out and start making it happen. As the saying goes, “there is no time like the present, and the present is now.”

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of Market Me Too.  She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Finder Coachauthor of Wisdom Whispererand is a well-respected motivational and social influencer with a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances.

Essentially every team is dysfunctional in some way. Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and bridging dysfunctional teams (sports & business), and turning them into epic ones.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Our coaching produces repeatable, measurable and amazing results personally and professionally. Need proof? Just talk to our clients, or read through our testimonials.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

“NEW!” Guide for Teams:

Every team is dysfunctional at some point.  Click on the link below to obtain a “free guide” with (5) Proven Strategies To Turn Your Dysfunctional Team Into An Epic One

 

Why are you ghosting people?

Having strong communication skills is a part of the foundation to both your personal and professional success. When you choose to eliminate or not practice aspects of your communication skills, this is equivalent to not taking care of yourself. When you make this decision, just like not taking good care of yourself, there are consequences. Some you might not immediately see, but over time, your Ghosting tendencies will negatively impact you.

For instance, if you repeatedly choose to hit the “ignore” button on people who are legitimately trying to reach you, I guarantee you this will adversely impact your reputation. Sure, there are plenty of people who may be trying to connect with you that you are not interested in having them do so. However, instead of ignoring them, simply let them know you are not interested in having a conversation with them at this time. Yes, it’s that simple, and yes, this is the right thing to do. No excuses.

Generally, when someone is trying to get in touch with you, they have a moderately good reason to do so. Perhaps their timing to connect with you isn’t the best, but they don’t know this. Especially if the reason for connecting with you might be legitimate. In my opinion, you do owe this person a conversation, or a quick email or text to acknowledge them. This is so easy to do, and if you are not doing this, I’m going to call you out on being both lazy, and rude.

Yes, this sentiment may appear to be harsh, but I can’t tell you how many times I have witnessed or heard stories from people about how they had an amazing offer or message to deliver to someone, and they could not get the person to acknowledge them. What a shame.

Ever had this happen to you? It shouldn’t, but the challenge is that people who Ghost others typically do not get called out on this bad social and communication behavior. Hence the reason I am discussing this concept, especially for those who are the Ghosting culprits.

So, should you simply give up on those who are Ghosting you? Some would say yes. However, I think you need to be persistent. Especially if you have something really positive to get through to them about!

Of course, it will be very frustrating to pursue trying to communicate with Ghosters, but it will be worth your patience to do so. I personally have an example of a Ghosting scenario I am contending with. Both my persistence skills and patience is absolutely being put to the test. However, I know when I get through to this Ghoster, they will be regretful of having acted this way.

The scenario involved with this Ghoster includes providing them with an opportunity to elevate both their personal and professional status in the local community. It also includes having others in their professional circle benefit from connecting with me too. Due to the reason so many people can be positively impacted by me getting through to this Ghoster is what drives me to pursue this opportunity. Why? Because I professionally know it is fortuitous for them, and others they have an impact on.

If you recognize yourself as being a Ghoster, I ask that you seriously consider why you are behaving this way. Or, are you not intentionally aware of the fact you are doing so? In the situation I am dealing with, I hope for their sake it is the latter. There is always time and space to increase a person’s awareness and communication skills. Dropping your Ghosting habit is certainly towards the top of the list of eliminating, and retiring this bad habit for good.

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of Market Me Too.  She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Finder Coachauthor of Wisdom Whispererand is a well-respected motivational and social influencer with a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances.

Essentially every team is dysfunctional in some way. Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and bridging dysfunctional teams (sports & business), and turning them into epic ones.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Our coaching produces repeatable, measurable and amazing results personally and professionally. Need proof? Just talk to our clients, or read through our testimonials.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

“NEW!” Guide for Teams:

Every team is dysfunctional at some point.  Click on the link below to obtain a “free guide” with (5) Proven Strategies To Turn Your Dysfunctional Team Into An Epic One

 

Are you a responsible leader?

If you were to ask the majority of leaders if they felt prepared for the role they are in, the answers you would receive might not be what you would expect to hear. In fact, statistically most leaders are under or not well prepared for assuming the leadership role they are in. So how does this happen?

Perhaps you have heard of “The Peter Principle”? If not, it’s basically the concept that many leaders in organizations keep getting promoted until they reach a level of respective incompetence. This isn’t exactly reassuring when you look around and wonder if perhaps the leader of your organization fits this description. Worse, is when this might in fact be you, and you know you are in a role well beyond your capabilities.

When you consider the experience leaders are expected to have prior to stepping into their respective role, you would expect them to have been vetted along the way. For starters, being proficient and capable of assuming this role. However, this is a gross assumption. It is also one of the ways people who become leaders, and who are weak ones end up in a leadership role. The problem is partially with the lack of checks and balances of the leadership vetting system.

Another challenge which allows weak or ill prepared leaders to step into their roles, is the fact there are too many “yes” people in organizations. If you are not familiar with “yes” people, chances are you might be one. In other words, it is far easier for people to agree and say “yes” to a leader, than it is to disagree.

When someone does not agree with a leader, and they are not trusted and respected by the leader, they run the risk of being labeled contentious or difficult. Although in reality, strong leaders would want more people to say “no” or not agree with everything.

So, what can be done to prepare leaders to be ones we look up to, are motivated by and respect? Here are some suggestions to get you started.

  • You probably have heard of an intervention. The ones typically associated with someone who has a severe problem and a group of people gather together to support getting the person with the problem help. The same concept can apply to weak leaders, and should be organized with the support of the head of human resources. If it is a small company, the second person in command of the company, along with the majority of the upper management team should be involved. I highly recommend you consult also with an outside and neutral party experienced in this type of intervention.
  • In less dramatic situations, assigning someone to open the dialogue with the leader about how they view their leadership style is a strong place to start. Often, the leader is unaware others perceive their leadership capabilities and style in a less than desirable manner.
  • Don’t assume your leader has had recent or relevant training to help support their role.
  • Leadership training is something which should be ongoing throughout their career.
  • If your leader has not taken leadership training in the last 6-12 months, it’s time for them to take a course. This can be monitored by the head of HR, or if you are the leader, make sure you have recently taken a leadership course.
  • If you are a leader, consider joining a group of CEO’s to help support your leadership evolution. There are a number of these groups throughout the country, and chances are you might have one in your city. If not, there are virtual CEO “round table” groups you can consider joining.
  • Determine what type of strengths the leader relies upon the most. This can be done with the assistance of a number of different and objective testing methods. Being a Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, I can highly recommend the StrengthsFinder survey which can determine what their top (5) strengths are. I have leveraged the results of this survey to help numerous leaders, as well as the people and the teams who support them. I guarantee it will be one of the best and most affordable investments you can and should consider.

Having responsibility for others and their careers and livelihood is an enormous responsibility. Since most people are not born leaders, but instead become and evolve into this role, recognize they are generally not prepared well for the role they are in. When you look at and realize your leader is in this situation, your expectations will be more realistically set for the outcome of what they are capable of achieving.

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of Market Me Too.  She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Finder Coachauthor of Wisdom Whispererand is a well-respected motivational and social influencer with a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances.

Essentially every team is dysfunctional in some way. Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and bridging dysfunctional teams (sports & business), and turning them into epic ones.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Our coaching produces repeatable, measurable and amazing results personally and professionally. Need proof? Just talk to our clients, or read through our testimonials.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

“NEW!” Guide for Teams:

Every team is dysfunctional at some point.  Click on the link below to obtain a “free guide” with (5) Proven Strategies To Turn Your Dysfunctional Team Into An Epic One

 

What’s your business energy level?

Having spent decades crafting my marketing and indirectly my sales skills, there is one thing which always sticks out in my mind about each of these disciplines. It is how every aspect of what we were doing was measured.  Talk about feeling like you were always under a microscope. Or, being constantly judged on the metrics associated with your discipline.

Being under continuous surveillance can take its toll on people. Although there may be some exceptions. Granted measuring results is a fundamental part of business, but what if and what are the measurements used to determine employees or the company’s energy level?

The first thing which comes to mind is the annual employee satisfaction survey which is sent out. Does this really reveal how satisfied employees are, or does it simply give them an opportunity to vent? This method isn’t going to be helpful in determining energy level’s, but short of applying medical practices (e.g., taking your temperature, blood pressure), is there a way to establish people and company energy levels?

Leaders of companies who are gifted in the emotional intelligence (EI) category are generally perceptive of how other people, and collectively what the energy level of their company is. Although this gets harder to determine when a company has over 50-100 employees. However, even if a leader is able to assess their company energy level, it is still hard to quantify this level amount. More importantly to note, it is certainly subjective.

So, is it possible or reasonable to think there are ways to determine a company’s energy level? If a company knew what it’s energy level was, and let’s say it was low, what could they do about this?

Here are some suggestions I have seen companies apply to help boost their collective energy level:

  • Rally around an organization or cause which could be in alignment with what your company does. If this is too challenging to find a direct alignment with another cause, then mutually determine one to work with. Focusing on helping others is an excellent way of changing a company’s energy level.
  • Consider physically moving to another work area within your company. Several of the companies I worked at had us move our desks every 3-6 months. The energy level of our teams soared when we did this, and it caused people to have to collaborate well together to make the move happen. When you change your physical location, it also does wonders for your overall attitude too.
  • Give your employees something to look forward to. It doesn’t have to be anything expensive to invest in, as it could be as simple as asking a food truck which specializes in desserts to randomly show up outside of your building. If the company can pay for this treat, even better.
  • Dedicating a day a week to do something different at your company also can pick up the energy level. For instance, how about having teams take turns to BBQ for each other one day a week, make waffles or ice cream sundaes or perhaps something healthy?
  • Borrowing from one of my other story ideas, how about having weekly or once a month lunch-and-learns ? The topic can either be work or non-work related. The non-work ones of course will be more fun, and you will be impressed to hear about the hobbies and subjects that your employees are enthusiasts about!
  • Pot luck lunches are lots of fun, and a low-cost option which I have seen the company energy level increase. For those employees who are competitive, throw in a prize or prizes, either monetary or simply bragging rights to who has the best, fill-in-the-blank for the item they made. Hint, pies, chili and cookies are easy contests to run.

Although I do not presently have a subjective measurement for you (yet), to help you know what your energy level is, start out with trying some of the suggestions above and see if you notice if your company energy level improves. Also, be aware if your own energy level improves too. Most importantly, be as creative as you can be with trying out different activities to give you the energy boost you are looking for.

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of Market Me Too.  She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Finder Coachauthor of Wisdom Whispererand is a well-respected motivational and social influencer with a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances.

Essentially every team is dysfunctional in some way. Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and bridging dysfunctional teams (sports & business), and turning them into epic ones.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Our coaching produces repeatable, measurable and amazing results personally and professionally. Need proof? Just talk to our clients, or read through our testimonials.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

“NEW!” Guide for Teams:

Every team is dysfunctional at some point.  Click on the link below to obtain a “free guide” with (5) Proven Strategies To Turn Your Dysfunctional Team Into An Epic One,

 

Invest in yourself to be interesting

How often have you said to yourself, or others, “I just met the most interesting person!” If this is a frequent experience, consider yourself fortunate.

If you’re like the majority of people who simply go about their daily routine, and you do not work in an industry with tons of opportunities to meet interesting people, chances are you are not putting yourself in enough situations to warrant meeting cool people. In general, if you ask someone enough questions, you are bound to learn something intriguing. Or, perhaps you are, in fact, an interesting person and either do not realize this, or give yourself credit for falling into this esteemed category.

What one person considers an interesting person, another might find to be a bit of a bore. Thankfully, we live in a world where there are a variety of people and types of work they do, hobbies they have, places they have lived, experiences they have had . . .

Some people take a more calculated approach to enriching their lives, hence putting themselves into a category of being a more interesting human being. Depending on your interests or goals are, and what type of finances you have or are working towards, can restrict some of your potential for doing or having out of the ordinary experiences.  For example, when’s the last time you . . . dove in the tropics, climbed a mountain, sailed around the world, learned a new language, or any of a dozen more adventures?

Having limited funds should not be an excuse. There are a myriad of things you can do that cost little or no money, and can head you towards becoming a more well-rounded, fascinating person. Here are five suggestions to help you become a more dynamic and interesting human being.

  1. Think about who you find interesting. What makes them interesting? Could you be like them at some point in the future?

 

  1. Lots of people talk about creating a bucket list, of things they want to do before they leave this earth. Put one together so you can have something to strive for, and to talk about once you have ticked off the various items.

 

  1. If the things you want to do will cost money, start saving – set aside a separate account or lock box. Saving for things you want to do is great way to make them happen, and ultimately an investment towards making you more interesting.

 

  1. Are there things on the list that you are afraid of doing? If you cannot get past the point of giving them a try, consider talking to a professional to work through any issues. Chances are, you might regret not doing what you always wanted to, because you were afraid. Have you heard that F.E.A.R. is an acronym for False Emotions Appearing Real.  Don’t let your mind prevent the rest of your body from doing what it wants to accomplish.

 

  1. Find a friend, work colleague, or anybody else who might be interested in doing the things you want to do, but do not want to fly solo. If you ask enough people if they want to do X, chances are you will find someone likeminded. If you are a salesperson, you already know this and should apply your sales skills to developing your interests.

There really is no excuse about why you cannot invest, improve upon, or strive towards being more interesting than you are today. Everyone has an equal opportunity to invest in themselves. So, why not go for it? Start applying some or all of the tips above and before you know it, you will be on your way towards creating the person you always knew you could be.

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of Market Me Too.  She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Finder Coachauthor of Wisdom Whispererand is a well-respected motivational and social influencer with a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances.

Essentially every team is dysfunctional in some way. Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and bridging dysfunctional teams (sports & business), and turning them into epic ones.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Our coaching produces repeatable, measurable and amazing results personally and professionally. Need proof? Just talk to our clients, or read through our testimonials.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

“NEW!” Guide for Teams:

Every team is dysfunctional at some point.  Click on the link below to obtain a “free guide” with (5) Proven Strategies To Turn Your Dysfunctional Team Into An Epic One,