Setbacks. Why you need them.

During the last two weeks, a sports team I am working with experienced what would be classified as several textbook definition setbacks. When they occurred, they were in the process of learning about how to capitalize on their teams’ outcomes. As they were going through this experience, it wasn’t a comfortable situation for any of them. However, it was exactly what they needed to go through at that time.

Fast forward to this week, and the team decided it needed to do something differently. Not only because the way they were operating wasn’t working, but because the team dysfunction level was unbearable. You could feel it, and see it in their performance. Yet, until they encountered their second dramatic performance setback, they were not ready to do something different.

When this team reached what would be classified as “rock bottom”, was when they decided it was time to try what they were potentially resisting, or not fully feeling like they could embrace. At this point, they had nothing to lose, and potentially everything to gain from facing their setbacks head on. This included openly talking about them, learning from them, and deciding to collectively try a different approach to how they were functioning as a team. In other words, to begin acting like one.

Yes, it sounds obvious that a team should act like a team and be supportive of one another, but there are numerous factors which can contribute to this not happening. For instance, when a team’s communication breaks down, or when they don’t treat each other well, or act respectful of one another as both people and teammates.

The first sign of this or any team breaking down and heading towards a place they don’t want to end up, is when they begin playing as individuals. This happens in the workforce too. You can literally watch a team and see they are not functioning and supporting one another to be successful. You will also see individuals trying to stand out, or do what they think they need to independently do to support their team. This never works, as we all know that a team is at their best when they are deliberately working together, and trust that each member is ideally doing their part. It’s critical to note and be reminded that no single person on the team is responsible for the outcome of the team’s performance.

When communication and trust are both lacking, it’s nearly impossible for a team’s dynamics to be strong. However, each of these elements can be addressed, and when they are, the team can begin to heal, and repair and restore the camaraderie levels they are ideally seeking to reach.

Facing adversity and not working together to do so is one of the basic elements which contributes to a team’s setback. I give the team I am working with a great deal of credit for understanding and admitting they were collectively not doing their part to be a team. So, when they decided this week to do something about addressing this, is when I literally saw a different team on the field. As a matter of fact, I told them they looked and acted like a completely new team, and one that was committed to turning their setbacks around. They did exactly that, and logged their first home win that day.

Now, the real work of helping this team to maintain its focus on leveraging what they learned from their setbacks is going to be what makes the difference in the rest of their seasons performance results. They will be applying what they have been working on this past week to improve their team dynamics, and this will transfer into their actions on and off the field. Ultimately, they will be putting into practice and testing this afternoon what they have learned, and I strongly believe their setbacks will provide them with the inspiration to attain the results they are collaboratively working towards.

If you are an individual or on a team who has experienced setbacks, and who hasn’t, below are some suggestions you can apply to course correct on the outcome you would prefer to experience.

  • Consider what contributed to your setback. What role did you, or each team member play in having it occur? This should be discussed as a group, and lead by the Coach or Manager.
  • Discuss what you learned from your setback(s). Focus on being constructive with what is being communicated, and set ground rules that do not allow people to single out and publicly attack or embarrass someone.
  • Make sure that everyone has a voice. Some people on the team might feel more comfortable with writing down and then having someone else read what they want to express.
  • When trust breaks down, you need a delicate method and time to be in your favor to restore it. One of the things I recommend that team’s do, is to each write down what they like about every person they work with. It could be unrelated to their actual team contribution (e.g., they make me laugh), and then the next step is to then gather together and have each person read out loud what they wrote. This information can also be shared in writing too, so that it has a longer lasting impact.
  • Factor in doing something together that is independent of what your team normally does together, and which could allow them to have some fun. There a plenty of low-cost options and ideas to apply, so be creative. Having some fun together instead of dreading being with one another can be a catalyst to reset your team dynamic setbacks.

The bottom line about setbacks is that they can’t always be avoided, and when they do occur, they can actually work in our favor. That is, if you have the right mindset to capitalize on turning them into both learning, growth and opportunities to improve and recalibrate your teams’ dynamics.

TAGS: #Teams #Teamdynamics #Leadership #Teamsetbacks #Success #Motivation #Teamwork #Workforce #Business #Sports #Sportsteam #Sportsteams #Sportscoach #Coach #Manager #Leader

You own your awareness. How much is that worth?

It might seem difficult to imagine that a person could be unaware of who they truly are. Or, that they are also potentially blind to how others perceive them. However, I guarantee you know someone who could be described this way, and perhaps you might be this person?

I often get asked the question is there an age or decade when the majority of people will become aware of who they are, and what talents and personality attributes they possess? The reality is that there isn’t a specific age when everyone determines this information, and in fact, some people will go through decades in their life without having an awareness of who they are.

Are the people who are completely unaware of who they are at a disadvantage to those who know and have a clear appreciation for who they are? In my opinion, yes, they are. Although they may be perfectly comfortable being this way, and have accepted and come to terms with whatever personal or professional state they are in.

If you are not someone who is comfortable or satisfied with your current personal or professional situation, it likely is due to a number of factors. One of them relates to who you have had in your life that has provided you with guidance and options to consider different paths to pursue. Another one is who you have chosen to align yourself with both personally and professionally. Sometimes this is a conscious decision, and other times it is situational, and could be based on your formative or current circumstances.

A third factor which contributes to someone’s awareness level is their willingness to take ownership of understanding who they are. This could mean accomplishing this on their own, or with help from others. Perhaps a combination. The point is that at some stage in a person’s life they become willing to explore and understand who they are as an individual. Once this is achieved, it is at that point when they will have a greater sense of how to leverage this information to their benefit.

Without having a solid understanding of who you are as a person, and possessing full awareness of what your talents and attributes are, how will you be able to ensure that the goals you have for yourself both personally and professionally can be achieved? Sure, you might have some methods for how to accomplish this, but what if you truly understood and intentionally invested in knowing who you are from a core level?

Let’s assume you would want to understand who you are beyond a surface level. More importantly, how to align your innate talents to your benefit. Can this be done? Absolutely, and when you pursue and accomplish this, the difference in your life will create an entirely new set of lenses on how you look at your world. How do I know this? Because I personally experienced this ten years ago, and it was literally personally and professionally life changing. I’m going to leave you with this thought in terms of wondering how I accomplished this, and if you are interested enough in learning more about my situation, I have a strong sense you will reach out to me.

If your curiosity has been peeked by my experience, I do have some tips I can share with you to help you to consider options for exploring how to become more self-aware. Or, how you can help someone else who wishes to pursue this.   

  • Be honest. On a scale of 1-10 (10 the highest), what level of self-awareness would you rate yourself? Now think about, what level would you like to be at?
  • Do you have enough of a curiosity to invest your time and attention into understanding and appreciating who you are at a more in-depth level than you currently are?
  • How would you rate your level of being open-minded on a scale of 1-10 (10 the highest)? Hint, the higher level of your open-mindedness will contribute to helping you to gain and embrace your self-awareness level increasing in your favor.
  • Are you motivated enough to want to better understand and leverage and align your talents differently than you have been? If so, there are numerous self-awareness options for you to consider, and start with your favorite search engine to begin this process. I have my own favorite one, but I’ll only share this with you if you are genuinely interested in knowing what it is.
  • If money wasn’t a factor in your life, what would you personally or professionally be doing instead? Hint. The answers to this question can offer great insights.
  • How do you like to spend your time, and how much time do you prefer to spend alone or with others? Knowing this can also offer valuable clues into what motivates you, and knowing what motivates you and aligning this with your self-awareness can put you into potentially a new and better personal and professional direction.
  • Ask 2-4 people you trust how they perceive you. Ask them to describe who they perceive you to be in three statements, or words that can offer a different or new perspective on who you are from their perspective. Knowing this information will help to provide you with others lens on who you are, and it may or may not be how you perceive yourself. Keep in mind that others can often see our talents better than we can.

Understanding and knowing who you are can be the greatest gift you can give to yourself or another person. In honor of Mother’s Day coming up this week, if you are a Mom, aspire to be one, or have a Mom or have someone in your life who plays this role, do yourself and them a favor and consider giving either them, or yourself the gift of self-awareness. It will be one of the greatest gifts you or they can experience, and it is a priceless one too.

TAGS: #Self-awareness #WhoamI #Whoareyou #Personaldevelopment #Professionaldevelopment #Talentdevelopment #Leadership #Teams #Teamdynamics #Business #Awareness #UnderstandingwhoIam #Mothersday #Happymothersday

Are you fascinating or frustrating to others?

 For some reason I love the word fascinating, and I like the meaning of it even better. It embodies so many different description facets of a person or an experience, and in my opinion, the best part is when you get to hear aspects about the person or their experience being fascinating.

Based on the premise that most people would not classify themselves as being a fascinating person, I’m certain that no one would deny wanting to be this way. Nor would they shy away from others considering them to be this way either. In fact, it could be a notable attainment for a person to have this description associated with them.

Since the word fascinating can be widely interpreted, and can also be subjective, the one thing I believe we can agree upon, is the fact it is a positive way to express how you could describe another person. Given this presumption, when was the last time you applied this word to describing someone you either know, recently met, or would like to get to know?

Having an individual or people in my life that I can describe as being fascinating is something I have always sought out. My awareness for realizing this was when I was quite young, and before I became a teenager. Thinking back to the first realization that I had just met and encountered a person who was unlike anyone else I had ever met before was thrilling. It also ignited a continued life-long interest in wanting to meet more people like the first one I met. Who was the first person I met like this? It was actually a family member, and an uncle.

My uncle was a creative person. To say that he looked at the world via a different lens than anyone else I had ever experienced would be an understatement, and this was so intriguing to me. I had the good fortune of working for him when I was in college, and I learned a tremendous amount from him by simply observing his behavior and seeing how he made decisions. Not all of his decisions were good ones, but I learned just as much from experiencing the less ideal ones, as the brilliant ones he made.

For the sake of consideration, who can you name right now that you would classify as being interesting or frustrating? Are they someone you know well? Are they someone you would like to know and admire for who they are and what they do? Or, have you ever yourself thought about whether in fact you might be deemed a fascinating or frustrating person in the eyes of others?

Let’s assume that you don’t want to be classified as a frustrating person, and that you either want to know more fascinating people, or perhaps aspire to being one yourself. How would you go about achieving either of these? Good question, and yes, there are ways you can go about attaining a designation of being fascinating, or including more people like this into your life. However, it’s going to take some time and thought about how to achieve this.

If you want to aspire to either being fascinating, or include more fascinating people in your life, here are some suggestions to help fast-track you towards accomplishing one, or both of these options.

  • How would you rate your self-awareness on a scale of 1-10 (10 being the highest)?
  • Having a higher level of self-awareness is going to be the place to work towards to help you achieve becoming a more fascinating individual. Why? Because with self-awareness comes confidence, and with confidence comes having the freedom to try and do more things in your life, which in turn can contribute to your fascination level or attainment.
  • Becoming self-aware takes time, and it might be something you need support to accomplish doing. If you need support, there are plenty of options to explore to help you to master this.
  • Being truly authentically yourself is also one of the foundational aspects to achieving becoming a fascinating person.  When you are able to authentically be yourself, you are more content with who you are. You are more approachable as a person, and any level of anxiety and fear you have in your life will be significantly reduced because you are not expending negative energy towards supporting these feelings.
  • When you have more positive energy to apply to your life every day, you are able to accomplish more things, which in turn fuels more aspects of your life to be deemed as being productive, fun and potentially fascinating. Either personally acknowledged, or allowing others to perceive you this way.
  • Come up with your own definition of what or who you deem to be fascinating. Are any of the descriptions ones you can attain, or are working towards?
  • Who are the people you deem to be fascinating? Are any of them ones you can eventually include in your life? If not, perhaps they will serve to motivate you?

I understand that not everyone aspires to being classified as fascinating, and I’m confident no one wants to be labeled as frustrating.  Perhaps somewhere in-between is where you might be more comfortable?  With either of these options, I hope the one you decide upon suits you well.

TAGS: #Confidence #Business #Selfawareness #Beingauthentic #Authenticity #Personaldevelopment #Humandevelopment #Awareness #Beinggenuine #Howtobefascinating #Howtobeinteresting #Confidence #Careeradvice

What’s your worth? 10 Tips to consider.

If I were to think about myself as having a value associated with how I perceive myself, or worse, how others perceive me, I would be quite distressed. Although the interesting point in this consideration is that you hear people all the time referencing about either their own, but typically someone else’s worth. Or, perhaps they are discussing value?

In either scenario, my feeling is it would be incredibly difficult to come up with a formula to evaluate the value a person has each day. However, we know that many people love to have the ability to measure or compare and contrast. Either to another person, scenario or some other measurement which they deem to be important.

When I think about someone’s value or worth, I see it as a completely arbitrary measure, and in fact, one that would be in a constant state of flux. If we did have a formula to measure the value of someone, what would be some of the factors contributing to this equation? In my opinion, it will be extremely difficult to gain consensus on this topic, and who will really benefit from determining the criteria for measurement, or from being measured? 

Does it really matter how others evaluate you? I really don’t think it does, because any measurement is going to likely contain too many arbitrary and non-neutral considerations which won’t be able to be applied as a “one-size-fits-all” approach. So, why are many people fascinated with being able to define themselves via a standard of measurement? Does it help them to improve who they are as a person? Does it make them a person who contributes in a more powerful way to society? The list could go on forever in terms of what could be measured, but isn’t it more important to innately have a strong sense of your own personal value or worth?

For the sake of discussion, let’s say it is more important for everyone to strive to reach a place where they have their own comfort level in how they are contributing as a human to our society. Perhaps they have physical or mental limitations which would prevent them from reaching a maximum contribution level. Independent of this, wouldn’t it be satisfactory for both them and others if they were doing the best they could do given their limitations? I think it would.

Where I am challenged with my consideration of a person’s worth, is when it is solely based on factors that are revered by some people, and absolutely unimportant to others. In other words, too many people place a high value on a person’s financial worth. What’s worse is that these same people who are enamored by someone’s wealth, essentially cancel out other factors which shouldn’t be. Ones in fact that would negatively contribute to how a person is simply being measured and evaluated, based solely on their ability to have amassed wealth.

We know that not everyone who has amassed wealth did so on their own. Perhaps they inherited the wealth, or just happened to be fortunate with their timing and in a situation where they were an overnight wealthy person (e.g., the company they worked for went public, and their financial value skyrocketed overnight). I’ve seen this happen numerous times, and simply because these people now have a massive amount of money did not change the fundamentals of them being a worthy or valued human. Especially since currency is simply an arbitrary way of people agreeing on it having value.

My consideration of a person’s worth like currency is arbitrary, and should other people really have the power to judge your value? Think about this for a minute. The reality is that this does happen all the time, so what can you do about it? More importantly, do you care to do something about this?

If you are interested in doing something about impacting either your own sense of worth or value, there are in fact many things you have the power to do to impact it. Here are some suggestions on how to go about doing this.

  • What have you done today or recently to contribute to the well-being of others?
  • Have you invested in yourself to make yourself a healthier person both mentally and physically?
  • Do you have a written or plan in your mind which factors in leveraging your own talents which can both help to support you, and others too?
  • Consider the impact your value as a caring person would have on someone who might need some additional caring support. What could you do to increase your care level towards another person, or multiple people?
  • Starting today, what can you do to become a less self-centered person?
  • What can you do to come up with a different system to evaluate your own worth or the value you are contributing to our society on a daily or some consistent basis?
  • Think about why you might regard people who have more wealth then you do in a category of having a higher worth than you do?
  • Sure, having money can provide people with greater access to power and other opportunities, but does this really make them more valuable as a human?
  • Reconsider how you evaluate your criteria for both worth and success.
  • Factor in how being healthy, happy, having time to do the things you like to do, and having the ability to spend your time and attention on being with people you love can contribute to your worth and life value.

The expression of “life is a journey, enjoy the ride” is one which I am reminded by every day. Given this expression, I do my best each day to make sure I am paying attention to this sentiment. By perceiving my own worth and value to be at a level which I desire, and not having it impacted by what other people think, is what gives me the greatest satisfaction of knowing both my worth and value are exactly where I want them to be. Better yet? I’m the only judge that matters in what this means. I hope that if you are not currently at this level of thinking, you will be at some point in the near future.

TAGS: #Confidence #Self-worth #Leadership #Motivation #Positivity #Business #Teams

Being limitless, and tips on how to be this way as a leader or individual.

I’ve never been the type of person who imposes restrictions upon myself, or others. The funny thing about this, is how many people I have seen do this to themselves. Whether this is something they are doing intentionally is up for debate. When I encounter someone who is doing this, I will ask them if they are aware of my perception of them that this is something they are doing? 

Generally, the answer is that they are not aware of this perception, and will typically ask me for examples of them doing this. The curious thing for me, is that the examples I give them are from my perspective so obvious. More puzzling to me is that my examples appear to be ones they never have heard of before, yet when I point them out, they have an “aaahh-ha” moment of complete clarity. Why is this happening, and is it possible for people to course correct on this challenge themselves?

The answer is that yes, people can course correct, and become more aware of them seemingly being blind to not seeing how they place restrictions on themselves. However, one thing they will need to do first, is to be open-minded and willing to accept the fact they are doing this.

Let’s face a reality here. We know that not everyone is open-minded, but I will stress that everyone does have the capacity to be so. This is one of the keys to allowing yourself to become limitless in terms of how to set yourself up differently as both an individual, or leader. Potentially leaders could be constricted with being open-minded based on rules and regulations they may have imposed on them from others they need to answer to. Not always, and there are always exceptions to this.

Being open-minded and independent as a leader does not mean you have to completely compromise your desire to exercise these characteristics. Although chances are greater that you may need to be more creative and influential to obtain your goals to maintain your or other’s ability to be limitless in your thinking. This should be a challenge most leaders are familiar with, and I’m not suggesting it is easy to accomplish this. However, it will be worth the effort to pursue making this happen.

Focusing on you right now, consider a time in your life when you felt you didn’t have any restrictions imposed on your life or thinking. For context, this is in terms of your thinking and actions which could be coordinated to help you to have unlimited possibilities to pursue and achieve. Yes, responsibilities in one’s life will somewhat hinder unlimited thinking opportunities, but again the strategy is to find work arounds for them. Think of challenges as being simply obstacles that need to be overcome, and that every one of them has at least one solution to do so. This is ideally when your open-mindedness thinking is going to come into play, and yes, you can be open-minded, even if you don’t think it’s possible to be this way.

In terms of tips to help you to become more limitless with your thinking, below are some suggestions I have for you to consider applying.

  • Do you have a clear idea of what you actually want to accomplish? Is this written down anywhere, or have you expressed your vision about what you want to achieve?
  • If you have not written down a list of what you want to accomplish, this is the perfect time to do so, and yes, right after reading this story.
  • Once you have your list, write down next to the items what would be obstacles which would prevent you from accomplishing what you want to achieve.
  • The next step will be for you to come up with a third row which will provide you with solutions to overcome the obstacles you have factored in.
  • The fourth step is going to be putting your list into action, and potentially sharing it with those who it will impact. You are going to want to have others bought into what you are trying to do, and when they are, it will make it much easier to partner with them to help you to do so. Particularly if you are a leader, or sports team coach.
  • Thinking retrospectively, have there been times in your life when you limited yourself? Be honest with yourself, of course there were. This is fine, and even better to admit. More importantly is to peel back your thinking in terms of why you did this. Take some time to think this through, and consider whether there is something similar in your life you are faced with right now, and which you might be doing the exact same thing?
  • Is there a pattern you have established which has contributed to closing off your mind and life or professional world from being able to achieve what you want to because you have self-imposed restrictions on why you can’t do something? You fill in the blank on this, as I guarantee there are more restrictions you have placed upon yourself than you might have been willing to admit. This is one of the reasons why people succumb to being closed minded and introduce restrictions on what they can accomplish personally or professionally.
  • Are you fully committed to attempting to be more accepting of the fact you have not been able to allow yourself to be limitless in your thinking, yet, want to make a concerted effort in achieving being this way?
  • My final suggestion is to give yourself permission to think differently, and to slowly accept that it is possible to do so.

I have personally seen many people transform their way of thinking to be more open-minded, and yes, this does take some practice. No, you will not be an overnight success in attempting to master this, but you will get there. Even better is that once you are solidly on the path to being limitless with your thinking, I can guarantee you will have a lot more fun in your life, and be able to achieve things you never imagined would be possible.

TAGS: #Leadership #Business #Motivation #Success #Tipsonbeingunlimitedinyourthinking #Unlimitedpossibilities #Sportscoach #Thinkingdifferently #Empoweringyourself #Teams #Openmindedness #Beingopenminded #Howtobeopenminded #Tiponhowtobeopenminded