#Strategy – Page 16 – Market Me Too

June 13, 2022June 15, 2022

Embracing doubt and its benefits.

From my perspective, doubts are a bit like fear. There are different levels, and some are potentially motivating, although perhaps not in the healthiest sense. Given a few contributing factors, there appears to be a more pronounced focus on mental health, and I’m a big fan of this. Especially since doubt can be a contributing factor to a person’s mental health.

This week I was personally experiencing a higher level of doubt than I am accustomed to. It was uncomfortable and truthfully, also distracting. For some reason, my mind kept going back to a place which was having me rethink some decisions I have made over the last several years. One of them happened to be about my business, and the direction I am taking it in.

The strange thing which doesn’t contribute or make sense about the doubt I was experiencing about my business, was that several growth factors that most would say are favorable, made me feel just the opposite way. Although when I think back to another part of my business when I was changing the focus of my target market, I realized I felt the same way. This rearview mirror look and remembrance was helpful, as it helped to remind me that steady growth is not bad. Although in reality I prefer hyper growth, I know that I need to become more comfortable with a slower, more deliberate, and focused growth model.

On a weekly basis, I am discussing doubt with others. The fascinating part for me is to see first-hand how others are handling their own challenges with this feeling. Sometimes the doubt they have makes them feel stuck and without options to make forward progress. Other people are suggesting the doubt is like a nagging pain. It’s just constantly looming in their mind, and there are days or hours during the day when it sometimes disappears, and other times when it follows them like a shadow. The third group of people who are experiencing doubt is the most interesting one.

This third group is interesting because the doubt serves them well. One of the positive attributes is that it makes them think through and come up with alternatives to whatever situation causing this feeling, or thought process. This is a much healthier approach to handling doubt, and which can contribute to anxiety and in severe cases, depression. Certainly not everyone has doubt progressing to these levels, but I’m suggestive that it’s a good idea to be aware of the level that you, or perhaps another person is at.

Many of the leaders, sports coaches and individuals associated with these people in these two groups, have similar challenges in terms of how they handle doubt. However, the common thread they share is that none of them took a course on how to best deal with this doubt feeling. Sure, some of these people may have watched a YouTube video, read a book, or talked to a professional about the topic of doubt, but there isn’t a certificate you can achieve to fully master eliminating having doubt as a potential feeling from your life.

So, are there ways to consider how to embrace doubt and also derive benefits from this emotion or feeling? Yes, there are, and here are some for you to consider.

When you have doubt in your mind, it can serve as a great source for having an in-depth conversation with a trusted advisor. Ideally to talk through and determine if your doubt is valid, or without merit. In either scenario, you will feel much less doubt after talking through your doubt concerns with another person.
Very few people will tell you they have more than enough confidence. Given this, working on increasing your confidence in a variety of different ways, and to higher levels than you are currently at, and which can potentially reduce your mind from having you doubt yourself, more than you trust yourself, or have confidence to do so.
This is worth noting again, as having doubts can put us in a situation to either reconsider or come up with better or alternative ways to proceed when we have even a “shadow of a doubt” in our mind about something or someone.
Doubt can serve to protect us in a variety of ways or situations. Think of doubt as perhaps an overactive “gut instinct”, which not everyone has fully embraced to trust more than they should. It takes practice to trust and see the results of trusting your gut instinct, so allow yourself to practice leveraging this to help minimize or potentially support the reality of the doubt you are experiencing.
Some levels of doubt can in fact be motivating. Especially if they are lower to moderate levels, and you can override them, and accomplish or prove to yourself, or others that you can do whatever it is that you, or they are doubting you can achieve.
Risk taking isn’t for everyone, but everyone will experience some level of it. Doubt and risk are in similar thought categories, and can be supportive of helping you to make clearer and better, more calculated decisions, which can factor in risk mitigation which will serve you and others well.

Although it might not seem like embracing doubt will offer you or others benefits, I assure you that if you “test drive” some of the suggestions above, that you could begin to start seeing how a perceptively negative feeling can be turned into one that you might at some point look at differently. Potentially in a positive way too.

TAGS: #Embracingdoubt #Doubt #Howtodealwithdoubt #Fearanddoubt #Leadership #Leader #Sportscoach #Business #Motivation #Positivethinking #Management

June 6, 2022June 15, 2022

Tough decisions & conversations.

Rarely would the majority of people say that they look forward to making difficult decisions. Which are inevitably followed by either having a conversation or sending a written communication to someone. However, making tough decisions and then following through with them are a part of life, but how do we become better at doing this?

This morning I was faced with making one of these tough decisions. I didn’t sleep well last night because my mind was running through all of the different scenarios about how the decision would impact me and my family. I also thought about whether I was making an emotional decision, or one based on being rationale. The decision I was making slanted towards it being a highly emotional one, so I knew I needed to be honest with myself. Ultimately to not have my emotions win out in favor of my decision potentially negatively impacting me. Or worse, having me regret my decision.

My decision ended up siding with being practical, and what you might consider to be the more rationally based decision. However, I can’t tell you that I necessarily feel better having made the decision I made. Although, from a timing perspective, I know in my heart it is the right decision. One that will allow me to be more focused on all of the opportunities and life circumstances facing me right now. I’m sharing this scenario with you because I value being authentic, and vulnerable. Although at the same time it can be incredibly intimidating to do this.

If you know me well, you know I’m not the type of person who is easily influenced by others. In fact, just the opposite, as I tend to have a strong belief and conviction for trusting my gut when I’m making decisions. Although what was different about this decision, was that I truly needed to listen and factor in other people’s input, which I knew would give me the perspective that part of this emotional decision was going to potentially cloud. I’m glad I did, as I know that doing something uncomfortable is what will benefit me the next time I’m in this scenario.

When I think about another scenario involving making a tough decision and having an even more difficult conversation, I had one of these yesterday. Perhaps it was getting through successfully to the other side of that situation which allowed me to navigate my other challenging decision this morning. I think it did, and the point is that yesterday’s scenario was part of being the foundation I needed to help me this morning.

Of course, I realize everyone faces difficult decisions on a regular basis. The challenge is how to best prepare ourselves to make it to the other side of the scenario? Without regret, and in fact feeling good about how the situation played out.

As a leader in any situation (e.g., family, business, sports team), you are continuously having to make decisions which you will likely agree that are not all easy to make. I recall speaking with one sports coach leader who told me about a decision he had to make to suspend his best player from his team a few weeks prior to their team going into the final playoffs. Generally, everyone will agree that one player does not make a team, but one player can have a positive or negative impact on the team. In this case, the absence of this player was going to have a negative impact, because the flow of the team was going to be disrupted at a crucial time when they didn’t need this to happen.

The suspended player did come back to play with the team, but there were many lessons learned from this situation. Both by the player, team members and the coach. Ultimately the team did end up winning the championship, but I’m certain they will never forget how the decisions that the athlete and coach made impacted everyone.

In business, I have seen countless number of leaders have to make gut wrenching decisions about how do they balance growing the business, while having to make headcount reductions. Yes, this may seem counterintuitive, but it happens more often than people outside of hyper growth companies would be aware of. It’s certainly one of the strategies for growth, but the pressure it puts on the team isn’t always favorable or sustainable. However, the leader who has to ultimately make the decision that this is the best course of action, has to make this generally unpopular move at least once in their career.

Although making any decision can be difficult, the communication aspect might in fact be more challenging. Namely because most will agree that getting the communication part of the decision right is critical, and not always easy to do. There is a delicate balance of explaining why you made the decision, what the outcome will be, and how the impact of it is going to affect others. Sometimes difficult decisions can lead to much better scenarios, and generally they should, but we know this isn’t always the case.

Since no one is immune from having to make decisions, and we know that some decisions will be much more challenging than others, below are some suggestions to consider. Both in terms of how to contemplate and decide, and some ways to effectively communicate your decision.

I have always benefitted from having a pro and cons list. If I feel that I am going to be biased with one of the columns, I will ask someone who I know can be objective to help me with this exercise.
Although having a pro and con list might make it more evident which will be the better decision, when a decision is emotionally charged, it can still be challenging to decide. However, you will need to challenge yourself with being as neutral or reasonable as possible, with the outcome of which decision will serve you or others the best.
Keep in mind that there will eventually be relief for you when a decision is made. I can’t promise you that you will feel immediately good about the decision, but at some point, you will have enough hindsight to be able to determine that you made the best decision at that point in time.
When you are communicating your decision, it is best to be both authentic and brief.
Don’t be tempted to cast any blame or make excuses about why you made your decision. If you do, it will be apparent that you made your decision solely based on an emotional decision, and this isn’t generally going to be in your favor to do so. Of course, there are exceptions.
If you can take even a few moments or hours and to sit and contemplate your decision, do so. It will provide you with additional clarity in both the decision itself, and make it easier to express why you made your decision.

The next time you have to make a decision, whether it is an easy or difficult one, I hope the suggestions above will serve to guide and motivate you in feeling good about the method of doing so. I also promise you that although it might not ever be easy to make tough decisions, each and every one will contribute in a multitude of ways to the life you are living.

TAGS: #Decisions #Communication #Leadership #Sportscoach #Teams #Motivation #Toughdecisions #Authentic #Business #Sports

May 24, 2022June 15, 2022

One day in someone else’s shoes.

It’s easy to be critical of others, and far too many people resort to being more critical than they might realize. I have own personal theories on why this occurs, and I have very low tolerance for being around or involved with people who behave this way.

Sure, there are times when you might have some constructive feedback which could be given to the person you are mentioning, but when the conversation doesn’t proceed in the direction of this occurring, in my opinion, this is one of the many reasons our society has been socially challenged. Imagine for a moment if you could be a part of changing the trajectory of this occurring? You can be, and it starts with a commitment to wanting to do so.

I have never met a perfect person. I’m also far from being this way, but when I hear other people talking about others in a less than favorable way, I always wonder if they perhaps think they are someone better than another person? I also think about whether they have considered the factors contributing to the reasons the person they are critiquing might be in the situation they are in?

Chances are strong that people who critique others in a negative way, and who do not proactively do something to help the person they are commenting on, may oddly be unaware of what they are doing. I realize this may sound preposterous, but consider the fact they may not actually have the level of self-awareness they need to stop doing this. Let alone, realize they are not accomplishing anything constructive either.

So, are there some people who are naturally able to imagine what it would be like to be walking in someone else’s shoes? Actually, there are, and most of them are leaders. Not always leaders in the traditional sense of being one, but they possess many of the characteristics of strong ones. There has been a long-standing debate about whether leaders are born, or created? In my opinion, I believe it can be either, and potentially a blend of both.

Among many of the things we can learn from and be taught by leaders is their ability to understand and relate well to other people. At a base foundation, to appreciate another person at an entirely different level than others. Also, to see qualities in other people which they can polish and help them to bring forward. They accomplish this by authentically interacting with each person, and finding a common thread which allows them to initiate and foster a trusting relationship. Although this may sound overly simplistic and easy to accomplish, it’s not.

The people who I would classify as leaders, and many of them are also sports coaches, approach interacting with people differently. Are they taught how to do this? Not really, as this trait is largely innate.

For those of you who are leaders, and even if you are not classified as one, traditionally or non-traditionally, and you have not yet mastered the art of authentically interacting well with others, there are some things you can do to mimic some of the characteristics of doing this. One of them is to be open-minded. Of course, saying and doing this are completely separate things, but this is one of the traits the majority of leaders share in common. Possessing this trait also allows a leader to be more approachable, and have others want to support them.

People who are open-minded will also often possess a heightened sense of empathy. Their empathy will provide them with having an appreciation for what another person is dealing with. This level of understanding naturally translates to having them be able to consider options and suggestions to help another person, versus being critical of them. Either verbally to another person, or in their own mind. When a person can literally imagine what it is like to “walk in another person’s shoes”, they have the ability to not only help another person, but considerably make a difference in that person’s life. Although perhaps not always in a dramatic way.

If you are presently someone who is aspiring to become a leader, or if you are a leader, yet may not have mastered the art of being able to know what it is like to “walk in someone else’s shoes”, I have some suggestions for you.

Ask yourself if you are truly willing to allow yourself to be open-minded?
If you hesitated with considering being open-minded, think about what is contributing to why you might struggle with being this way.
Even if you are open-minded, it is something which takes practice to continue to be this way. What are you doing to put yourself in a position to practice this?
This is a tough question, and even harder to truthfully answer. On a scale of 1-5, with 5 being the highest, how much do you like other people?
Consider how you feel when you help to improve others lives. What are you doing on a regular basis to contribute to accomplishing this?
Factor in thinking about why it is important for you to lead others. Craft a list of both the pros and cons of doing so.
Hint: If your pros and cons list has a longer list of cons, leadership may not be for you.
Genuine leaders put others before themselves, but also make sure they continue to invest in themselves (e.g., physically, mentally, potentially spiritually) to be the best leader they can be.
Many leaders and sports coaches have shared with me that doing what they do is similar to having it be a “calling”, and that they cannot imagine not being in their role. Do you feel this way?
Have you actually ever had the opportunity to “walk in someone else’s shoes?”

If you have had the chance to proverbially “walk in someone else’s shoes”, I’m sure it was a moment and experience in your life that dramatically changed your ability to lead others. Or, more importantly to be the type of person we could all benefit from having more of in our lives.

#Leadership #Leader #Leaders #Areleadersbornordeveloped #Sportscoach #Empathy #Beingauthentic #Success #Helpingothers #Makingadifference #Tipsonhowtolead #Openminded #Beingopenminded #Authenticity #Management

May 9, 2022June 15, 2022

Setbacks. Why you need them.

During the last two weeks, a sports team I am working with experienced what would be classified as several textbook definition setbacks. When they occurred, they were in the process of learning about how to capitalize on their teams’ outcomes. As they were going through this experience, it wasn’t a comfortable situation for any of them. However, it was exactly what they needed to go through at that time.

Fast forward to this week, and the team decided it needed to do something differently. Not only because the way they were operating wasn’t working, but because the team dysfunction level was unbearable. You could feel it, and see it in their performance. Yet, until they encountered their second dramatic performance setback, they were not ready to do something different.

When this team reached what would be classified as “rock bottom”, was when they decided it was time to try what they were potentially resisting, or not fully feeling like they could embrace. At this point, they had nothing to lose, and potentially everything to gain from facing their setbacks head on. This included openly talking about them, learning from them, and deciding to collectively try a different approach to how they were functioning as a team. In other words, to begin acting like one.

Yes, it sounds obvious that a team should act like a team and be supportive of one another, but there are numerous factors which can contribute to this not happening. For instance, when a team’s communication breaks down, or when they don’t treat each other well, or act respectful of one another as both people and teammates.

The first sign of this or any team breaking down and heading towards a place they don’t want to end up, is when they begin playing as individuals. This happens in the workforce too. You can literally watch a team and see they are not functioning and supporting one another to be successful. You will also see individuals trying to stand out, or do what they think they need to independently do to support their team. This never works, as we all know that a team is at their best when they are deliberately working together, and trust that each member is ideally doing their part. It’s critical to note and be reminded that no single person on the team is responsible for the outcome of the team’s performance.

When communication and trust are both lacking, it’s nearly impossible for a team’s dynamics to be strong. However, each of these elements can be addressed, and when they are, the team can begin to heal, and repair and restore the camaraderie levels they are ideally seeking to reach.

Facing adversity and not working together to do so is one of the basic elements which contributes to a team’s setback. I give the team I am working with a great deal of credit for understanding and admitting they were collectively not doing their part to be a team. So, when they decided this week to do something about addressing this, is when I literally saw a different team on the field. As a matter of fact, I told them they looked and acted like a completely new team, and one that was committed to turning their setbacks around. They did exactly that, and logged their first home win that day.

Now, the real work of helping this team to maintain its focus on leveraging what they learned from their setbacks is going to be what makes the difference in the rest of their seasons performance results. They will be applying what they have been working on this past week to improve their team dynamics, and this will transfer into their actions on and off the field. Ultimately, they will be putting into practice and testing this afternoon what they have learned, and I strongly believe their setbacks will provide them with the inspiration to attain the results they are collaboratively working towards.

If you are an individual or on a team who has experienced setbacks, and who hasn’t, below are some suggestions you can apply to course correct on the outcome you would prefer to experience.

Consider what contributed to your setback. What role did you, or each team member play in having it occur? This should be discussed as a group, and lead by the Coach or Manager.
Discuss what you learned from your setback(s). Focus on being constructive with what is being communicated, and set ground rules that do not allow people to single out and publicly attack or embarrass someone.
Make sure that everyone has a voice. Some people on the team might feel more comfortable with writing down and then having someone else read what they want to express.
When trust breaks down, you need a delicate method and time to be in your favor to restore it. One of the things I recommend that team’s do, is to each write down what they like about every person they work with. It could be unrelated to their actual team contribution (e.g., they make me laugh), and then the next step is to then gather together and have each person read out loud what they wrote. This information can also be shared in writing too, so that it has a longer lasting impact.
Factor in doing something together that is independent of what your team normally does together, and which could allow them to have some fun. There a plenty of low-cost options and ideas to apply, so be creative. Having some fun together instead of dreading being with one another can be a catalyst to reset your team dynamic setbacks.

The bottom line about setbacks is that they can’t always be avoided, and when they do occur, they can actually work in our favor. That is, if you have the right mindset to capitalize on turning them into both learning, growth and opportunities to improve and recalibrate your teams’ dynamics.

TAGS: #Teams #Teamdynamics #Leadership #Teamsetbacks #Success #Motivation #Teamwork #Workforce #Business #Sports #Sportsteam #Sportsteams #Sportscoach #Coach #Manager #Leader

April 18, 2022June 15, 2022

Don’t let others define who you are.

I remember hearing when I was very young people telling me to be myself. However, they didn’t define what this meant, and I was too young to consider asking them to explain what they meant. Since I realized that hearing this statement seemed to be a reoccurring one, at some point, I believe I internalized and came up with my own definition of what this meant.

For context, my family includes a number of creative people. Even and inventor. By observing various family members, and appreciating the talents they had, and how they appeared to be comfortable with them, they were appreciably strong role models. Seeing them embrace what they were good at, even if others didn’t fully understand what they were doing.

One of my earliest memories of applying the concept of authentically being myself was when I was old enough to pick out my own clothes to wear. This seems simple enough, yet what I was surprised by was the reaction I got from people when I first started doing this. The reason I was surprised, had to do with the fact I was putting colors and patterns together that were not traditionally combined. At least at that point in time. I saw no issue in doing this, and in fact, I enjoyed both the challenge and fun it was to do this. I realize now that I was intrigued by other people thinking that what I was doing was different.

When I became aware that doing something different than what others were doing was ok to do, is when I began to embrace and develop a confidence in myself that had not been there before. I was too young to have any appreciable hobbies at that time, but I intuitively realized what I was doing was something I could build upon. I would draw an analogy to this of developing an early foundation of defining who I would evolve into as a person.

Upon being retrospective on this topic, I realize that I could have gone in a completely different direction in terms of having others define who I am, or would become. I also realized that I had an early awareness of the fact I was fully in charge of how I could and wanted to define myself as an individual. More importantly, not to let others do this in any way. This thinking has served me extraordinarily well, as it has allowed me to authentically be myself in both personal and professional scenarios. More importantly without having to craft different personas. Something which I have observed many others doing.

Speaking of different personas, one of my observations about why some people struggle with not being able to embrace who they are, is because they give too much value to what others have to say or think about them. A good question to ask yourself or someone who might find themselves in this situation, is to have them explain why they do this. It’s possible they are not aware of the fact they have let others define who they are, or should be, as it can actually be easier in some ways to do this. Why? Because you don’t have to commit to figuring out who you truly are. Or, you can simply take on the characteristics or qualities others who have influenced your thinking, that you should act a certain way. From my perspective, this sounds exhausting, yet surprisingly, many people are unaware of the fact they have done this.

So, if you aspire to be authentically who you are, what are some techniques you can apply to do this? I’m anticipating you might want to know this, and I’ve got some suggestions for you below.

If you don’t believe you are authentically yourself, who do you want to be?
If you were to “design” or “architect” exactly who you think you want to be, what would be the characteristic elements involved with crafting this person include?
Consider your base personality, and the essence of at your core who you are. Are you truly leveraging it to the fullest? Or, would you say there are reasons you are not doing so based on the influence of others?
Are there people or circumstances in your life which are contributing to not allowing you to be who you truly are, or aspire to be?
What or who can help you to change your circumstances that are preventing you from allowing you to define who you want to be? There are always multiple options and solutions, so don’t allow excuses of not having options or people to help you to stand in the way.
What it is going to take to allow you to believe you deserve to authentically be who you are? Let’s start with looking in the mirror, as chances are it’s you who are holding yourself hostage to this type of preventative thinking.
Factor in how different and more enjoyable your life will be when you stop allowing others to define who you are, and you finally embrace your authenticity. Seriously, this can happen, even if it is in incremental steps and takes longer than you think it should.
Finally, imagine what it will feel like when you can truly be who you are…every single day, and in every single situation in your personal and professional life.

Individuality and expressing who you are shouldn’t be reserved for only some people, and conformity shouldn’t be the norm that everyone has to subscribe to. I love the statement of “just be yourself because everyone else is taken”. Let’s see what you can do, or if you can help someone else who isn’t authentically themselves yet. Taking on this challenge will be so worth it!

TAGS: #Confidence #Selfawareness #Selfaware #Authenticity #Personaldevelopment #Professionaldevelopment #Motivation #Helpingothers #Teamdynamics #Leadership #Business