Sharing. Are you doing this enough?

I grew up with two siblings, and being the oldest, I learned early on that I was expected to share things with them. Sharing wasn’t something I ever thought much about, and it was something I just did. Fast forward to being an adult, and at some point, I realized that not everyone was on board with the same concept of sharing that I was used to.

My first awareness of the fact that not everyone was in the spirit of sharing, occurred when I really needed the person to share some information with me. I asked without considering that the answer could be no, and when I heard the word no, I was surprised. Actually, a bit shocked. I asked the person why they were not willing to share the information with me, and their answer wasn’t what I expected to hear. Their response was that they didn’t feel like sharing the information.

Of course, this person could have shared the information I was asking about, but they deliberately withheld it from me. After this happened, I thought about what would make someone do this? Was it out of spite, jealously or was it a control thing? It turns out it was a control thing, and I did eventually get the person to share the information with me, but this was a good lesson for me.

The best lesson I learned from this experience was that there wasn’t a good reason for the person to withhold the information from me, other than that they could do so. I also realized they may not have had the same experience I had growing up, and which when I shared with others, I felt really great doing so. I can’t tell you that this person felt great or any different when they finally did share the information with me, but I’ll never really know the answer.  However, a small part of me is hopeful that the experience of the person releasing the information to me made them feel better.

I can’t speak for others, but for me personally, I always feel a sense of pride and joy when I can share information with others. The expression that it is better to give than to receive resonates with me, and perhaps you have had this same experience?

As business executive, I came up with a system for determining which people within the organization would be willing to share and help me and others. It was a relatively simple system, and it was always uncanny how accurate it was. My system involved asking a person to share something with me, whether it was advice, experience or perhaps a physical item. If they were willing to share with me, I knew that they would be open to doing so again. If there was any reluctance or hesitation in doing so, I knew the person fell into one of two categories.

The first category was that if someone was willing to share, they were a confident person, and didn’t feel that they would be negatively impacted by the experience. The second category consisted of people who were reluctant or who didn’t share, and I categorized them as someone who thought that their “power” or influence would be diminished if they shared something. Typically, information in this case. The people who didn’t share came across as being less confident, and over time I noticed a pattern with both of the two categories.

The pattern was that the people who were comfortable with sharing progressed much faster and to higher levels in any measurable scenario. Meanwhile, the people who were not categorized as “sharers”, were typically stalling out in their careers, and were also less satisfied in the role they were in. Of course, there were exceptions to the pattern I was seeing, but there was a very strong correlation of this one factor of being a “sharing” person which positively influenced their career and the opportunities they encountered.

Worth noting is that when you begin to study leaders, you will often find that the common thread between them is their willingness to help others. This typically means they are willing to share their experience, network, time and information. They also often do this without hesitation. Have you encountered this type of leader or sports coach?

If you are not someone who currently falls into the category of being a “sharing” type of person, here are some suggestions for you to consider “test driving” to help you lean towards being in this category if you aspire to do so.

  • Without being asked, offer to share something you value with a person that wouldn’t expect you to do so. It could be a physical item or something intangible, but that would be perceived as being valuable to the person you are going to share it with.
  • If you are not accustomed to sharing, you will need to begin slowly, as it will feel very awkward and potentially intimidating for you to do so. Beginning slowly might involve donating your time to a charity to help them with something they are working on.
  • Set a goal for yourself of sharing one thing every day for two weeks, and keep track of what you are sharing. At the end of the two weeks, look back on what you have shared, and think about how it feels to have shared what you have with others.
  • The concept of sharing can take practice, and it does get much easier to share with others, and you will be happy to know that it doesn’t have to take a long time to reach a comfort level you can’t imagine being at currently.  
  • Many of us have too much “stuff”. Instead of sharing it with someone, take it to the next level and give it to someone who could benefit from having it more than you can.
  • Every one of us encountered a teacher, and I’m sure that you could name your favorite one. What was it about your favorite teach that you could mimic and teach someone else by borrowing the attribute about them that you admired?

As the year ends, I am thinking about how amazing our world would be if everyone was able to share with others, or at a different level than they are presently at. Please accept my challenge today of sharing something with another person today, and I’ll look forward to hearing about what you shared, and the outcome of the sharing experience.

TAGS: #Business #Leadership #Rolemodel #Sharing #Howtoshare #Whysharingisimportant #Careerdevelopment #Sportscoach #Coach #Aspirations #Inspiration #Motivation #Leader #Personaldevelopment #Professionaldevelopment #Teams #HRleader #Talentdevelopment #CEO #Manager #Management #Salesmanagement

Life interrupted.

I woke up this morning feeling different. Not because it’s my birthday tomorrow, but because our world feels different. Almost like everything feels like it is in slow motion, and much of it appearing surreal. It feels unsettling, especially since so much is unknown in terms of what lies ahead. Not just tomorrow, next week or even next year, but what the effects of everything will have on our society. Although the pandemonium is coming from a known source of the Corona Virus, its blanketing impact on so many areas of people’s lives is what has me concerned.

Dealing with the unknown has never been an issue for me. In fact, I’m very comfortable with change. I embrace it, and seek it out, and not being in control of everything has never been a challenge for me. I see my ability to deal with ambiguity as a strength, as it allows me to be adaptable. It also allows me to navigate and guide others who are less comfortable with change, and the unknown.

The way I look at the unknown is to see possibilities others do not have a lens on. I wouldn’t classify myself as a futurist by any stretch of the imagination, but what I do see is that the Corona Virus is potentially giving many people a gift.

What is the gift? The gift is to slow down. Or, perhaps hit the pause button, and to re-think what our true priorities are, while being able to have the time to focus on what matters. Of course, what matters to me may be entirely different from others. That’s the point. This is OK, as it shouldn’t and doesn’t have to matter to others what each of our priorities are. I’m also acknowledging that our priorities can and do change, particularly when we are faced with pending life and health uncertainties.

I’m an optimist, and as I expressed earlier, and yes, I see the Corona Virus causing pandemonium right now. However, in my experience when this happens; from a societal perspective, it can also be a catalyst to bring our divisive society together.

From my perspective, and to be clear, I’m referring to the global divisiveness we have been experiencing, but seen more closely to home in my own country of the United States. Although for the last decade it appears my country’s name suggests just the opposite of what I have been witnessing. My hope is that the Corona Virus may in fact help to bring us back together. To actually unite us again, and to unite us with the rest of the world in coming together while we are collectively working to figure out our “go forward” plan in the midst of the chaos that’s ensuing.

Although we have only been dealing with the Corona Virus for a relatively short period of time in the US, and our news sources could be characterized as providing mixed messaging on what we should collectively be doing, I’m personally going to focus on what I can positively have an impact on. Both for the benefit of me, my family, friends and people in my social and business network.

During this time of uncertainty, and if you are curious, below is what I will personally be doing to have an impact to help in my own way in the next few weeks or months:

  • Focusing intently on my family and making sure they remain healthy
  • Reaching out to friends and checking in on them to see what needs they have that I can help with
  • Leveraging social media to keep in touch responsibly with those I will not be able to interact with that are in the high-risk health category
  • Harnessing the power of the internet to be able to reach more people with my Wisdom Whisperer brand. Yes, this could appear to be self-serving, but my work is intended to be focused on helping and virtually mentoring others. For those of you who do not know this, I have a variety of channels I leverage to do this. They include writing (weekly blogging via MarketMeToo.net and MarketMeToo.blog, two books I have published – Wisdom Whisperer and Evolve! With the Wisdom Whisperer), speaking at conferences and to students, broadcasting (e.g., via my show called “Murf & E Unfiltered – Zero BS Biz Talk” found on my YouTube Channel found by searching for Murf & E Unfiltered), and through workshops and speaking engagements. I don’t normally share this, but I am also a trusted advisor to numerous executives and highly influential people in multiple industries around the globe, who regularly rely upon my advice and guidance.
  • Continuing to do pro-bono Gallup StrengthsFinder Coaching work
  • Mentoring people, some of which I have been mentoring for over 20 years
  • Keeping my eyes open for opportunities to help others I do not know, but that I can potentially help in some way with my professional talents.

My birthday gift to you:

  • Starting today, on St Patrick’s Day, I will be providing people with access to my calendar on Tuesday’s for the next two months through May 17, 2020 (for free, and for 15 minutes) to have me listen to them, or to give them advice on both work and life topics they do not have a solution to. Here is a link to my on-line calendar: https://calendly.com/kathymurphy

As we move forward in the coming weeks, please do you part to remain healthy, and help others if and when you can. One more thing. Please try your best to be optimistic about the outcome of what you are experiencing, or going to experience in the coming months. Everyone will benefit from your optimism, even if you have to work really hard at seeing the “glass half full” in the scenarios you will be facing. In my case, the gift I am getting from the Corona Virus this weekend, is that I’ll be with all three of our kids who normally live elsewhere, yet will be home with me instead to celebrate my birthday. Being together is the best gift ever!

Be well everyone, and I look forward to engaging with you soon, and of course only “virtually” at this point in time.

 

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of Market Me Too.  She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Finder Coachauthor of Wisdom Whisperer  and Evolve! With the Wisdom Whisperer (published in December 2019)and is a well-respected motivational and social influencer with a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances. She also is the creator and Host of a TV Show and Podcast called Murf & E Unfiltered – Zero BS Biz Talk.

Essentially every team is dysfunctional in some way. Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and bridging dysfunctional teams (sports & business), and turning them into epic ones.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Our coaching produces repeatable, measurable and amazing results personally and professionally. Need proof? Just talk to our clients, or read through our testimonials.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

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Persistence is a Super Power. Got it?

 

A quality I have often admired in others is their persistence, and their ability to apply their persistence and focus both at work, and outside of work. People who are persistent seemingly have a plan, and they typically execute on the plan and get results. Do you know someone like this? Is this one of your “super power” traits, or do you wish you were more persistent?

Perhaps being a persistent type of person is an innate quality, or is it one which can be developed? It is also possible to perhaps be more persistent is some situations than others, as you could be more motivated to persist towards a particular goal (e.g., getting in shape for the summer, going after a promotion at work, organizing and cleaning your home for a party you are having this weekend). Naturally I did some research on whether there was an approach anyone could take to become more persistent, and of course, I found a wealth of examples on how to do so. The article I liked best was written by Lou Macabasco and is called 6 Effective Ways to Become Persistent. As the article is titled, it provides you with a simple breakdown of steps you can take to become more persistent. The benefits of becoming a more persistent person certainly outweigh any negative consequences, and anyone who knows me, knows this for a fact, as I practice being focused and persistent every day.

One of my future blog articles which ties well into the topic of persistence will be focused on thinking through the process of plotting your career strategy and mapping it out. The other part of this article will focus on having an “end game, and goals to work towards.” By leveraging the six steps involved with how to become more persistent, you can develop the framework or foundation for your future career goals. A long-time and close friend of mine, Carol Agranat is a professional career coach at Career Mapping Solutions, and I guarantee you she works with all her clients on first developing what her clients “end game”, or goal is for the type of career they desire to have. In my opinion, the most interesting part of Carol’s job is that she works with people who are on the entire career spectrum (e.g., recent college graduates, mid-career professionals and people who want to switch careers or re-enter into the work force). The common thread for all of her clients is their desire to move onto the next level of their career, and doing this will require them to be persistent in their pursuit of doing so.

Although I have not confirmed this, I can imagine the most satisfying part of Carol’s job is helping people create a pathway towards their professional goals, and seeing them achieve them. Having been a lacrosse player and lacrosse coach for a number of years, as well as a professional motivational coach for executives as well as people at various stages of their career, there is almost nothing more gratifying in helping someone else or a team achieve what they may not have thought was possible. One of my secrets in helping people to achieve what they set out to achieve, is working with them to have them believe they can accomplish their goal or goals. By breaking down the steps of reaching their goals, similar to the steps outlined in the article 6 Effective Ways to Become Persistent, I know for a fact achieving what you set out to achieve is entirely possible. If you do not believe in yourself, find someone who does, as they can make all the difference in your life in helping you to be persistent to get you to where you want to be either professionally or personally.

This blog is dedicated to Carol Agranat who I have known for well over 30 years, and who is one of the most courageous and genuinely passionate people about helping others to succeed. Thank you for your friendship Carol, and may you continue to do amazingly work with others.

Kathleen E. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Strategist and CMO of Market Me TooMarket Me Too has expertise in bridging marketing and sales teams and providing organizations techniques to accelerate their market growth, regardless of the industry they are in, or the business stage they are presently at. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com.

Got Culture? Company Culture that is.

By Kathleen E. Murphy

I have had the fortune of working at two of the best companies in the US when it comes to outstanding company culture, and I credit Lou Shipley, CEO at Black Duck, and Gail Goodman (former CEO) of Constant Contact for their support of allowing their company cultures to be genuine and not contrived. This is not easy to accomplish, and it’s not by chance their corporate cultures are impressive, as they work on developing their culture every day, with the help of many others. At Black Duck, Tim Kenny has the title of Vice President of Culture, and he embodies how to practice and make a company culture that even Google would be jealous of. Here’s a link to a YouTube video of one of Tim’s famous office antics, accomplished while the person was out of the office. This should give you a good sense of Black Duck’s culture.

Are technology companies the only companies who understand and embrace the importance of having an amazing company culture? I hope not, but there are also industries who are well known for their lack of a healthy corporate culture, and they know who they are. Is this a badge of honor for them? I certainly do not think so, as the benefits of having a strong and positive corporate culture cannot be underrated, as outlined in an article and infographic by Eric Siu, Contributing Editor at Entrepreneur.  Sure there is a cost to creating and maintaining a corporate culture, but I would argue there is more evidence to support why you should invest in “upgrading” your corporate culture, than not investing in this area.

There are varying degrees of what effort it takes to create a corporate culture, and if you think of creating corporate culture from an analogy perspective, and as a way to remain fit and visiting the gym regularly, you are on the right track….pun intended. Some examples of creating a corporate culture would be to start slowly, and by forming a small group of people in the company who are genuinely interested in making it a better and more fun place to work. Next, this group can brainstorm on ideas they can apply to help develop their corporate culture on a monthly basis (e.g., Black Duck employees make waffles every Wednesday, and call the event “Waffle Wednesday”). The company invested in some commercial grade waffle irons, assign people to procure the ingredients, cook and clean up each week. It is a really fun activity, and most of the employees in the company participate in the activity at some point during the year. Another idea would be to capitalize on inviting some food trucks to your parking lot, especially if you are in a large building complex. Or, perhaps you could have a monthly themed activity which everyone can rally around (e.g., Cinco de Mayo), or Pizza Friday’s or Potluck lunches once per month. You could also have sports themed days, where people wear their favorite professional or college team’s shirts or hats to work.

The bottom line is, corporate culture does not have cost tens of thousands of dollars to support, and it can make a significant contribution to helping your company retain employees because they are happy working at your company. Reach out to me if you would like additional “free” ideas on what type of low-cost corporate culture ideas I can recommend for your company, or if you have ideas to share with me. It delights me to see other companies working on improving their company culture, knowing how much fun it can be to work at a company with an amazing corporate culture. As I shared earlier, I’ve been at them, so I know this for a fact. Don’t delay and start today on making your corporate culture the one everyone wants to work at.

This blog is dedicated to Tim Kenny, who I admire for his amazing creativity and talent to create a corporate culture which both Disney and Google would be impressed with.

Kathleen E. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Strategist and CMO of Market Me TooMarket Me Too has expertise in bridging marketing and sales teams and providing organizations techniques to accelerate their market growth, regardless of the industry they are in, or the business stage they are presently at. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com.

Become More Confident

 

By Kathleen E. Murphy

Where does confidence come from? Are some people born with more than others, or is it a skill or strength you develop over time? I am sure you have encountered people who seem to have a level of confidence way beyond their chronological age. Still there are others who are at a point in their life and career where they should have a high degree of confidence, yet are severely lacking it, and for no apparent reason. If desired, can you build confidence and maintain it? Where does one begin to do this?

There are numerous ways to increase your self-confidence, and here’s a link I found which lists (25) actions to boost your self-confidence – and ways to do so, all of which are completely easy to achieve, as I read through all of them and mentally ticked off the box to determine if they were achievable. They are, and I know you will feel the same. In case you think only non-celebrities suffer from lack of self-confidence, I did some research and found there have been numerous people documented in history who seemingly have reached the pinnacle of their careers or talent, and who yet are what I will call plagued with lack of confidence.

Examples of well-known people who suffer from lack of confidence are singer/songwriter Mariah Carey, singer/songwriter/actor David Bowie (1/8/47-1/10/16), tennis superstar Serena Williams and Academy, Golden Globe and Grammy Award winning actress Kate Winslet. Each of these celebrities have documented histories of battling with low self-esteem, or what I would classify as low self-confidence. How is it possible for these well-known “super stars” in their respective fields to not have over the top levels of confidence? Part of the reason has to do with the negative narrative they have running in their minds, and which has them perceive themselves far differently than the outside world does. Another contributing factor to low or lack of self-confidence is not believing in yourself, even though there is vast evidence to the contrary that you should be able to do so.

Building self-confidence is not something you can do overnight, but is in fact something you can work on every day. The methods to building self-confidence need to be practiced daily, and yes, you will have days when your confidence is lower or higher. The goal is to try to maintain a balance in your level of self-confidence, and this can be done with some of the items listed on the 25 actions to boosting your self-confidence. Another quick way to increase your self-confidence is to stand up and in front of a mirror if one if available, and put your hands on your hips and pose like superman or superwoman. Now, saying out loud, tell yourself “I’ve got this” (5-6) times until you feel a positive change in your demeanor.  You will be amazed at how such a simple action can make you feel more confident than simply a few minutes prior to doing so. I know this for a fact, because I have leveraged this technique numerous times in my life. Give it a try.

This blog is dedicated to our daughter, Bronwyn Shinnick, as she is one of the most confident people I know. She also inspires me with her drive to succeed and her magnificent level of focus and confidence every day.

 

Kathleen E. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Strategist and CMO of Market Me TooMarket Me Too has expertise in bridging marketing and sales teams and providing organizations techniques to accelerate their market growth, regardless of the industry they are in, or the business stage they are presently at. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com.