Tag: Motivation

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Getting ahead. What does this take?

Are the proverbial goal posts for achievement in a constant state of being redefined? They potentially are, which makes it much more difficult to determine what it can or will take to attain achievement. Achievement in terms of being able to move up to the next level in a variety of different categories associated with both work and sports.

Upon listening to a recent conversation about how different generations define what it takes to get ahead in the workforce, one generation was implying you needed to basically be “on-call” and respond to communications 24-7. This included doing this during your official vacation time, with no exceptions to this thinking. The other generation wasn’t buying into having to always be available to get ahead and thought this was an unhealthy practice. Also, one they were not going to be subscribing to get ahead.

What was interesting about the generation that thinks you need to always be available, is that they couldn’t seem to wrap their minds about considering a different approach. Their method of always being in constant communication had seemingly gotten them to where they wanted to be from a career attainment level, but is this method sustainable? It seems like a solid recipe for overwhelm, burnout at some point, or resentment. Then what?

The generation who looks at what it takes to get ahead without continuous communication access has an interesting outlook. One that appears to be a healthier approach from many levels. Although arguably this hasn’t been completely time tested yet, as the generation which thinks this way doesn’t have enough experience or attainment in higher level roles to fully play out the outcome from their approach. However, I see strong merit in their thinking, despite the fact there may be some fundamental flaws. Flaws which could be modified to ensure a higher level of success for their model. This accounts for considering that extremes of any type are typically not always ending favorably.

When a person is in a scenario when they feel obligated to be responding to others continuously, it can quickly put them into a state of hyper reactiveness. I’m not a medical expert, but as a human, I know that maintaining being in reaction mode is exhausting. I also know that when a human is exhausted, they tend not to make the best decisions. So, if someone is in a leadership role and they are exhausted and making poor decisions, who benefits from this outcome? That would be no one.

We know there are a variety of different leadership styles, and some are more suitable and sustainable than others. Whether you are intentional about selecting your leadership style, or mimicking one or multiple ones you have seen is in general how most leaders end up with their style. If they are fortunate to have witnessed a variety of leadership styles, they are better oriented towards being able to pick and choose the best attributes. Optimistically thinking, they are also able to recognize the less desirable attributes and not adopt them into their style.

Although, like habits, leadership styles can be either further enhanced or modified or broken if they are not serving the leader well. This is typically accomplished with support, with the first step of the leader recognizing an aspect of their style may not be working well for them or those they are leading.

Circling back to the aspect of unspoken and unwritten rules to get ahead, do they really exist? In my opinion, they do, but they are more difficult to fully know what they are, and who is monitoring which ones are still in play. Especially since there are vast generational differences about which of the “rules” are being followed, embraced, or dismissed. Since there appears to be a disparity in terms of which “game of rules” is out there which is loosely structured to define someone’s ability to succeed or to get to the next level, below are some suggestions to consider how to make this arbitrary set of rules become more understandable.

  • Depending on what type of work or level of sport you are in, the rules for what it takes to get ahead will vary. What complicates this is the arbitrary nature of defining if the rules for one person’s level of achievement will apply to anyone else. Some of the aspects will, but you will need to consider which ones have more perceived value within the organization.
  • Metrics can be helpful to define achievement but achieving them does not guarantee you will be a strong leader, or able to apply your ability to achieve as an individual and then shift these same achievement tactics to leading others. Often the individual achievement metrics are different from the metrics a leader will be measured by. For example, this is why you often see a top salesperson being elevated to the level of sales leader, but their success as an individual contributor does not offer any guarantee they will have the same level of success leading others.
  • What’s your end game on achievement, and what are you willing to sacrifice to get there? What if you don’t make it? Will it really be worth it?
  • Working on increasing your emotional intelligence is one of the categories just about everyone can benefit from. Look for opportunities to flex and build this skill whenever possible. It will serve you very well to increase your ability from an achievement perspective.
  • Communicating effectively is a skill that can always be enhanced. The good news is that there are a variety of communication types (e.g., written, spoken, non-verbal and visual), and you don’t have to master all of them. Although working towards mastering one will be in your favor. Mastering two will be a bonus.
  • Manners. Yes, manners and treating others well will work in your favor and will allow others to favor you over other people who do not treat them well or are dismissive and are stingy with basic words such as “please” and “thank you”.
  • Having a willingness to help others, have and being open mind and unselfish while considering others will serve both future leaders and future head sports coaches well. People notice these behaviors, but don’t always comment on them, and are possibly keeping a mental score on whether you are participating favorably in these areas, or not.

If you have a willingness to achieve and to get ahead based on what your personal definition of this means, I’m sure you will get to where you want to be. I’m also hopeful that you will take into consideration also striking a balance towards both your personal and professional life, as I noted earlier that extremes tend not to serve anyone well.

TAGS: #Leader #Leadership #Leadershiptips #Communication #Success #Management #Professionaldevelopment #Motivation #Teams #Sports #Sportscoach #Teamdynamics #Awareness #Sales

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The impact of when you are late.

This may not come as a surprise to people who know me, but there are not many things that bother me, but one of them is when people are late. I was taught that unless you are at least five minutes early to a time commitment, you are late. This was further supported as a concept when I began playing sports, as there were consequences if you were not on time. Ones I didn’t want to experience, so this positively reinforced my commitment to being early. 

When I began my corporate career, I was almost always the first one to the office. Perhaps because I liked the cadence of starting the day on my own terms, and the quiet and peaceful nature when you are the only one in a location. Being early also gave me time to be reflective, and to also plan my day strategically versus having others fully commanding my schedule. Yes, some of my schedule was driven by others who needed my participation in meetings, or to provide them with leadership support, but the concept of being early to the office launched my day well and I felt much more productive. 

Time management as a concept appears to be straight forward, and one of the aspects of it involves being on time. So, why do many people appear to be challenged with time management? Is it that they were not taught how to plan and maximize their time? Or perhaps it is because they are not aware of how long certain projects or commitments will realistically take, so this causes them to be late. Potentially some people are simply unaware of time. Which makes them come across to others as being cavalier and carefree about how they go about their day. Yes, this may be a choice, but a choice which will in my opinion be disrespectful of other people’s time. 

We always have a choice when it comes to making decisions, and this includes the decision about whether you prefer to be known as someone who is on time, or always late. For those of you who are consistently late, I’m curious about what you are thinking. Are you aware of how being late impacts other people? Do you realize the effort they put into and the respect they have for your time, resulting in them being on time? Do you care about the impact you have on another person or a group of people when you are late? Has anyone ever called you out on this? If they did, what impact did it have on you, and did you consider the reasons why you are consistently late? 

Let’s look at being late from a different perspective. If you were meeting with someone you deemed to be very important, or if you were going to be given a large sum of money or something else enticing to you, would you be late? Probably not, but what if there was a consequence to being late in these scenarios? The important person becomes unavailable to meet with you, and the money or enticing thing is no longer available to you. How would you react in either of these scenarios? Are several hypothetical, but potentially probable examples going to impact your time management, or address your consistent lateness? Not likely, so what will? 

If you are a leader a sports coach or know someone who is consistently late and you want to help them to address this matter, below are some suggestions you can pass along to them for consideration. Potentially eye-opening ones in terms of recognizing how their lateness is viewed by others, and the negative impact it has on them and others. 

  • From a manner’s perspective, being late is rude.
  • Being late is disrespectful of other people and indirectly signals you do not value their time as much as you value your own time. 
  • Consider why you are consistently late? What can you do to alter this behavior?
  • If you are consistently late, does it matter to you the perception others have of you for being this way? Hint: It’s not favorable. In fact, it could cost you from being promoted and considered for leadership opportunities.
  • Challenge yourself to be more aware of how you are investing your time, and how you are scheduling your day. 
  • Being late is a bad habit. What can you do to change this behavior? The first thing is to acknowledge this is an issue. 
  • For meetings, schedule them with a 10-15 minute buffer in time so you be early or on time to your next meeting. 
  • Many highly successful people are either early or on time to their commitments.
  • Practice being on time. Even better, being early to all, yes, all of your time commitments. 
  • See if people notice when you are on time, or early, and what the impact this has on both you and them. I promise you it will be more favorable. 

Being respectful of both your own time and others may seem like a small matter, but when you don’t it sends negative signals to others and will seriously negatively impact the perception others have of you and your “brand”. If your reputation and image is even minorly important to you, and if you want to show respect for others and their time and the value they have in your life, please be either early or on time. I know you can do this, and others you interact with will look forward to seeing the positive impact this will have on you. 

TAGS:  #Leadership #Leader #Sportscoach #Business #Management #Respect #Successtips #Awareness #Timemanagement #Teams #Teamdynamics #Strategy #Motivation

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Stubborn? It’s not a good look. 

I’ve always been an optimist. So, when I hear someone expressing that something isn’t possible, my mind immediately begins to diverge into two directions. The first one is to think about why this was stated, and the second path has me considering whether all of the options have been explored to create an opportunity to make something possible.

My skepticism about whether all potential options have been investigated and applied may come from my family heritage of having an “inventors-like” mind. Or, possibly because of my innate curiosity about imagining why a solution has not been developed to attempt what others think can’t be achieved. Which, leads me to wondering if stubbornness could in fact be one of the reasons?

Fortunately, most people are not classified as being stubborn, but we all know someone who might have this adjective associated with them on a regular basis. Possibly without them being aware that others clearly see them being this way more often than not. The person who is unaware of themselves being stubborn might actually think they are just like everyone else. What they don’t realize is that being stubborn generally isn’t working in their favor.

An example of someone who is being stubborn could be that they are unwilling to consider, take or apply practical advice which could be highly adventitious to them. It can be highly frustrating in this scenario, especially when not taking the advice can have less than desirable consequences. However, we also need to factor in that some people learn via experiences, and failing to take advice and the outcome from this could actually result in a positive outcome for them. How? Because afterwards they could appreciate the value of considering to listen to, and ideally applying sound advice the next time a similar scenario arises. 

Perhaps you have heard the expression “you can lead a horse to water when they are thirsty, but you can’t make it drink it.” This expression is ideally aligned with people who are stubborn, because they often do the exact opposite of what they should be doing, primarily due to their stubbornness.  I personally have encountered a number of people who would be far happier, have an easier outcome in numerous scenarios, and much less stress if they would first recognize that their on-going stubbornness is one of the core reasons for many of their challenges and why they are often highly frustrated. 

Telling someone they are stubborn seldomly has any positive impact on someone changing from this disposition. It might make you feel better expressing this sentiment to them, but that’s not going to lead either of you anywhere you will want to end up. So, are there techniques that can be applied to help someone who is stubborn? Especially someone who is unaware of how they are presenting and interacting with others? Yes, there are, and below are some suggestions to ask them, or have them potentially consider. 

·      What is your definition of being stubborn?

·      Ask yourself why you are often considered by others to be stubborn?

·      Is being stubborn an easy excuse of your “why” you are not doing or achieving something you could be?

·      Have you thought about how being stubborn is impacting your relationships with others?

·      Could you potentially be unaware of the fact others consider you to be stubborn, and think you are acting differently than how you are being perceived?

·      Why wouldn’t you accept help, advice or guidance from someone more experienced or knowledgeable than you are that could positively impact you both personally, professionally or both?

·      Do you have an example of someone who others consider to be stubborn, and can’t see how you could be compared to them?

·      Providing you acknowledge you are stubborn; can you imagine the benefits of being less or not perceived as being a stubborn person? This applies to both your personal and professional life, as you might not be as stubborn, or stubborn in one of these scenarios. 

If redirecting energy from a trait such as stubbornness into more productive outcomes is possible, are you, or someone else you know ready to re-develop your person to experience the benefits of doing so? Or, will your stubbornness prevent you from being more happy, less frustrated and experiencing a higher quality overall mental health and well-being?

TAGS: #Leadership #Business #Success #Professionaldevelopment #Sports #Teams #Leaders #Sportscoaches #Coaches #Traits #Stubborn #Stubbornness #Overcomingstubborness #Solutions #Awareness #Selfawareness #Benefitsofbeinglessstubborn

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Intimate teams and camaraderie. Which comes first?

Intimacy. It’s one of those words when you hear it expressed in professional settings and related to the development of business and sports teams which can conjure up associations which make people feel uncomfortable. However, it should elicit the exact opposite response.

So, why are most people uncomfortable with the concept of discussing team intimacy? One of the reasons is because our society tends not to have much experience with talking about concepts that fall into the emotion category. Especially in work and sports environments. It is also frowned upon to talk about subjects which may fall into the personal category, or are on the edge of it.

Another reason people are uncomfortable, especially managers and coaches, is that emotional development, which team intimacy falls into the category of, is not something taught in academic environments. As a result, we independently learn when we are growing up about how to apply emotions, and the appropriate ones to our social interactions. As you already know, there is a wide spectrum of people’s abilities in this area. Unfortunately, the majority of people are not at the level they may need to be.

Why are people not at the levels of where they should be in the areas of emotional intelligence and common sense? Simply put, these attributes are not equally distributed, and neither of them are academically taught. Now, toss in having to navigate and apply emotional management either as an individual team member or manager or coach, and that’s when most teams start to have challenges. Now what, and how is this remedied?

The first thing to consider is to think about why does this happen? It namely occurs because the managers and coaches are not taught how to positively leverage emotions of their team members. However, if they were, the outcomes of their team’s performance would be entirely different, and much more in their favor.

Let’s look at team intimacy from a different perspective. Whether you played on a sports team, or have been on a work team, think about which one of these were the best teams you have ever been on? What were the characteristics which made the team outstanding? If I had to pick one word to represent what is the essence of an outstanding performance team I had been on, it would be camaraderie.

Camaraderie isn’t something which is developed overnight. It takes time, and knowing how to develop it. Unfortunately, very few managers or coaches achieve the level of knowing how to do so. However, there are ones in the sports world that are shining examples of knowing how to develop teams that have incredible camaraderie and intimacy. Alabama football Coach Nick Saban is one example. Scores of content have been written about his ability to develop intimate teams. In the business world, Richard Branson is famous for developing intimate teams via the long list of Virgin brands he has crafted.

What separates Coach Saban and Sir Branson from others? Simply put, they have figured out the formula it takes to produce team camaraderie from leveraging the concept of team intimacy. They are also not afraid of harnessing human emotions to create powerful, high caliber producing teams, and so have I.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself to determine whether you have what it takes to create the type of team camaraderie which others admire, and wish they knew the formula for:

  • Do you have emotional based techniques which repeatedly produce high performance results for your team?
  • On a scale of 1-10, ten being the highest rating, how comfortable are you with having emotional conversations with each of your team members?
  • How would you rate your awareness of what truly motivates each team member on a scale of 1-5, with five being exceptional?
  • What was the last conversation you had with one of your team members which caused a conversational breakthrough, and which resulted in that member producing results you have not seen before?
  • Do you know how to influence the camaraderie of your team?
  • What methods of influencing the camaraderie of your team result in sustainable and increased performance metrics?
  • Would you classify your mindset as being self-growth or self-interest?
  • What was the last thing you did to develop team intimacy?
  • What are the systems, structure or processes you have in place to develop sustainable team camaraderie and intimacy?

The questions above are not easy to answer, and chances are you will want to reflect on the outcomes of your responses for a short period of time. If you are not satisfied with your answers, and the results your team is getting, perhaps it’s time to begin considering the importance of leveraging team camaraderie and intimacy in a way you never considered doing. Although there are few guarantees in life, in this case, I guarantee those who have, are the ones who are routinely outperforming your team.

The good news for you? You get to decide which type of team you want to have. I’m guessing I know which type you would prefer to be managing, coaching or be on.

TAGS: #Business #Leadership #Teambonding #Tipsonhowtobondateam #Sportsteam #Sportscoach #Motivation #Success #Nicksaben #Coachnicksaben #Richardbranson

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Sharing. Are you doing this enough?

I grew up with two siblings, and being the oldest, I learned early on that I was expected to share things with them. Sharing wasn’t something I ever thought much about, and it was something I just did. Fast forward to being an adult, and at some point, I realized that not everyone was on board with the same concept of sharing that I was used to.

My first awareness of the fact that not everyone was in the spirit of sharing, occurred when I really needed the person to share some information with me. I asked without considering that the answer could be no, and when I heard the word no, I was surprised. Actually, a bit shocked. I asked the person why they were not willing to share the information with me, and their answer wasn’t what I expected to hear. Their response was that they didn’t feel like sharing the information.

Of course, this person could have shared the information I was asking about, but they deliberately withheld it from me. After this happened, I thought about what would make someone do this? Was it out of spite, jealously or was it a control thing? It turns out it was a control thing, and I did eventually get the person to share the information with me, but this was a good lesson for me.

The best lesson I learned from this experience was that there wasn’t a good reason for the person to withhold the information from me, other than that they could do so. I also realized they may not have had the same experience I had growing up, and which when I shared with others, I felt really great doing so. I can’t tell you that this person felt great or any different when they finally did share the information with me, but I’ll never really know the answer.  However, a small part of me is hopeful that the experience of the person releasing the information to me made them feel better.

I can’t speak for others, but for me personally, I always feel a sense of pride and joy when I can share information with others. The expression that it is better to give than to receive resonates with me, and perhaps you have had this same experience?

As business executive, I came up with a system for determining which people within the organization would be willing to share and help me and others. It was a relatively simple system, and it was always uncanny how accurate it was. My system involved asking a person to share something with me, whether it was advice, experience or perhaps a physical item. If they were willing to share with me, I knew that they would be open to doing so again. If there was any reluctance or hesitation in doing so, I knew the person fell into one of two categories.

The first category was that if someone was willing to share, they were a confident person, and didn’t feel that they would be negatively impacted by the experience. The second category consisted of people who were reluctant or who didn’t share, and I categorized them as someone who thought that their “power” or influence would be diminished if they shared something. Typically, information in this case. The people who didn’t share came across as being less confident, and over time I noticed a pattern with both of the two categories.

The pattern was that the people who were comfortable with sharing progressed much faster and to higher levels in any measurable scenario. Meanwhile, the people who were not categorized as “sharers”, were typically stalling out in their careers, and were also less satisfied in the role they were in. Of course, there were exceptions to the pattern I was seeing, but there was a very strong correlation of this one factor of being a “sharing” person which positively influenced their career and the opportunities they encountered.

Worth noting is that when you begin to study leaders, you will often find that the common thread between them is their willingness to help others. This typically means they are willing to share their experience, network, time and information. They also often do this without hesitation. Have you encountered this type of leader or sports coach?

If you are not someone who currently falls into the category of being a “sharing” type of person, here are some suggestions for you to consider “test driving” to help you lean towards being in this category if you aspire to do so.

  • Without being asked, offer to share something you value with a person that wouldn’t expect you to do so. It could be a physical item or something intangible, but that would be perceived as being valuable to the person you are going to share it with.
  • If you are not accustomed to sharing, you will need to begin slowly, as it will feel very awkward and potentially intimidating for you to do so. Beginning slowly might involve donating your time to a charity to help them with something they are working on.
  • Set a goal for yourself of sharing one thing every day for two weeks, and keep track of what you are sharing. At the end of the two weeks, look back on what you have shared, and think about how it feels to have shared what you have with others.
  • The concept of sharing can take practice, and it does get much easier to share with others, and you will be happy to know that it doesn’t have to take a long time to reach a comfort level you can’t imagine being at currently.  
  • Many of us have too much “stuff”. Instead of sharing it with someone, take it to the next level and give it to someone who could benefit from having it more than you can.
  • Every one of us encountered a teacher, and I’m sure that you could name your favorite one. What was it about your favorite teach that you could mimic and teach someone else by borrowing the attribute about them that you admired?

As the year ends, I am thinking about how amazing our world would be if everyone was able to share with others, or at a different level than they are presently at. Please accept my challenge today of sharing something with another person today, and I’ll look forward to hearing about what you shared, and the outcome of the sharing experience.

TAGS: #Business #Leadership #Rolemodel #Sharing #Howtoshare #Whysharingisimportant #Careerdevelopment #Sportscoach #Coach #Aspirations #Inspiration #Motivation #Leader #Personaldevelopment #Professionaldevelopment #Teams #HRleader #Talentdevelopment #CEO #Manager #Management #Salesmanagement

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