How Positive Thinking Impacts Your Life.

By Kathleen E. Murphy

My Mom Emily Murphy had a long career in nursing, and when I was growing up, she would always tell me stories about the power of positive thinking, especially as it related to healing and the patients she was taking care of. For about a decade, my Mom’s profession as a nurse was focused on Oncology. She told me she was gifted in her ability to help people deal with their cancer, and for many years I did not fully understand or appreciate what this meant. As you would imagine, most of her cancer patients were extremely sick, and some were at the early stages of dealing with this awful disease. According to my Mom, the difference between patients and how they handled this dreadful disease was their attitude. The second thing which differentiated her patients from one another was how much they were able to apply positive thinking on a daily basis to help them make their situation better in even the smallest of ways (e.g., they were able to see beautiful trees outside of their hospital window emblazoned with all of the fall colors New England is known for).

The power of positive thinking has been written about for years, and there are many well known experts on this topic such as Mahatma Gandhi, Dr. Norman Vincent Peale who authored the book The Power of Positive Thinking which was published in 1952, and The Dalai Lama. Ironically when I was researching lists of well known optimists, there was not a definitive list of such people, but we all know they exist, and I happen to be one of them, but I am not yet known globally for this ability. How do I know I have optimism or positivity as a strength? I know this because my top strength according to the book Strengths Finder 2.0 by Tom Rath is Positivity.  Does it matter if you do or do not have an optimistic or positive outlook on life? I firmly believe it does.

Personally for me, there have been more numerous instances when if I thought about the outcome of a situation turning out well, in over 95% of the time the situation turned out to be positive. Is this because I viewed the outcome as being positive, or was it sincerely this way? Am I simply a lucky person? Or, did my positive thinking influence the outcome, and my optimistic nature have me only see the outcome as being positive, or the “glass being half full”?

My perspective and reality has been the situations I wanted to have positive outcomes generally turned out that way. If I thought about the instances the outcome did not turn out positively, there was usually some reason why the outcome was not positive (e.g., based on timing, based on location, based on other factors I had almost no control over). In the instances when the situation did not turn out positively, I think the manner in which I looked at the outcome had a great deal to do with my perception of the situation, and ultimately was less negative than I thought it would be.

Based on what my Mom witnessed as a nurse time and time again, and which would in many instances be called a “miracle”, she would tell you the power of positive thinking or being optimistic in even the most dire situations can bring you results you did not think were possible. I challenge you to pick a day to think about having everything in your day turn out well or positively, and see what the outcome of your day is like. If you are not a positive person by nature, you might need to start more slowly and take this challenge on by the hour. Being positive may take practice, but the long-term benefits and the outcomes you will see will be worth it. Take my word, as those who truly know me, will tell you I am living proof of this concept working well.

Thanks to Greg DeGuglielmo and Holden Laquerre for inspiring me to write, and by picking this topic from my list of topics to write about.

Kathleen E. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Strategist and CMO of Market Me TooMarket Me Too has expertise in bridging marketing and sales teams and providing organizations techniques to accelerate their market growth, regardless of the industry they are in, or the business stage they are presently at. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com.

How to stay passionate about something. OK, your career.

 

Staying passionate about something seems like it would be an easy assignment, and perhaps it is if you find something, anything in life you can be passionate about. The topic of finding your passion and then pursuing a career aligned with your passion has been in vogue for the last decade. Colleges, career counselors and human resource professionals routinely give out the advice to follow your passion. I will agree it makes sense to align your passion if possible with your career or career aspirations, but it may not be as easy as it sounds. Or is it?

Personally when I think back to finding my passion, it began when I studied Advertising in college. This major was under the School of Journalism, and truthfully, I did not know this was something I could study. However, because I was always interested in print, radio and television advertising, it made perfect sense for me to study this subject. When I thought about advertising, I was always fascinated by how each product, service or brand told its story, or value proposition via words, images and sounds. I enjoyed the narrative of each advertisement, and the sheer delight in assigning my own grade to each advertisement I encountered. This was fun, and when I was faced my sophomore year of college with declaring my major, I will never forget how fellow University of Maine student, Gary Huffnagle told me he was an Advertising Major, and how much he loved it. He loved this major because it combined both writing and a creative element which could be expressed visually, verbally or via a combination. His enthusiasm for the major, the type of classes he was taking, and the fact I was always interested in advertising made it the obvious choice for me to follow in his footsteps.

I’ll admit I have always been a practical person, so my degree in Journalism was not a coincidence, as I knew it was a practical degree. I also knew I could find a job with the skills it provided me. Having these skills allowed me to practice and master my communication skills in the business world, and it opened up the proverbial door for me into having a Marketing career which has spanned over twenty years. Most of the Marketing expertise I acquired was via hands-on learning experiences. For example, I will never forget in one of my early jobs the company was going to a tradeshow and it was up to me to figure out how to get us there, and what this entailed. I also vividly recalling learning about social and digital media marketing as it was becoming a new way to do marketing, writing my first press release and holding my first press conference without any guidance on how to do either.

The point I am making about my various early career marketing experiences is because of my passion, I was fearless when it came to trying new things, which often I had no business in even attempting. However, each time I tried something new, I then had more confidence to try something else I had little to no experience doing. Having passion for Marketing gave me a sense of confidence, and it was my confidence which helped me to stay focused and figure out how to accomplish what needed to get done to succeed. Best of all, it never felt like work, and this may in fact be one of the key elements to knowing if you have found your passion.

Sure there are other things in my life I am passionate about (e.g., real estate, interior design, coaching/mentoring people), but when I truly think about what I am rock solid passionate about, and what has held my interest for so many years, it is the field of Marketing. The fact this field is so varied and offers such a diverse amount of marketing options to pursue (e.g., advertising, channel, communications, content, demand generation, digital, events, graphic design, international, operations, product marketing, public relations, web site design), is what has held my attention for the length of time it has. The field of Marketing has also been a perfect profession for me because it has also allowed me to work with so many different business disciplines, and to learn more about how the functions work together (e.g., Accounting, Customer Service, Engineering, Human Resources, Product Marketing/Management and Sales).

So, if you are faced with either starting out in your career, or making a decision to change the career direction you are in, think about the type of subjects which make you smile (e.g., traveling, playing a musical instrument, designing, riding your bike, running, baking, fixing computers or anything mechanical). Now think about the fields associated with these subjects which interest you. Then make a list of all of the types of jobs which are aligned, evenly slightly with the subject. Once you have your list, narrow it down to your top three subjects you are interested in. Finally, begin asking people you know to introduce you to people who have jobs associated with your top areas of interest. Ask them about how they got started, and what advice they would give you to get started. Most importantly, have fun with this, as I guarantee you will find motivation in pursuing knowing more about the topics you listed. You can then ideally begin your path towards pursuing your passion via a career which will hold your interest for many years to come.

Thanks to Tom Snelders for encouraging me to write, and by picking this topic from my list of topics to write about next. Up next will be the topic on “Thinking through the process of plotting your career strategy and map. Have an end game, and goals to works towards.”

Kathleen E. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Strategist and CMO of Market Me Too. Market Me Too has expertise in bridging marketing and sales teams and providing organizations techniques to accelerate their market growth, regardless of the industry they are in, or the business stage they are presently at. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com.

Is work life balance a myth?

Not everyone who writes about balancing your life actually has “street cred”, but I do. My experience of balancing “life” is from having three kids, two who are in college, one in high school, and what I call my permanent “furry baby”, or our five year old Golden Doodle, as well as a frog and lizard. I also have a husband who’s office is 200 miles from our house and who has commuted there for four years, a sister, brother, Mom and Dad and in-laws as well as relatives from their relationships. I am fortunate to have friends I met as far back in elementary school in the fourth grade (e.g., Greg, Kathy & Monique), and I have maintained these aspects of my life while working full-time in the demanding high technology marketing industry for more than 20 years. The first thing I will tell you is this has not been easy. The second thing I will tell you is I would not trade my experiences for anything. However, I now have perspective on balancing my life, and I will share this perspective with you.

Being a full-time working Mother puts you in a position of constantly weighing the pros and cons of decisions on an hourly basis, sometimes simultaneously both at work and home. So, it has been critical for me to be able to have my family reach me at all times, meaning my mobile phone is always on and with me. There have also been numerous times during my career when I have often excused myself during important professional conversations when my children or other family members have reached out to me. Yes, this might seem impolite, but I prioritize my family over work 100% of the time. No job or career is worth the reverse of this prioritization, especially if you are in a field that demands you work excessively long hours. I also do not apologize for taking these calls, and that is a whole other topic I will be writing about, as women apologize way to often for things they should not be apologizing for.

Friends are another part of the equation, which you should never forget to maintain as part of your balance. I have seen too many people compromise their friendships because they are unable to simply send a text once in awhile to their friends to let them know they are thinking about them. If you really want to let them know you are thinking about them, you can drop them a handwritten note, or buy them a cute card, or simply leave them a voicemail. When was the last time you received a card from a friend of yours “just because” they were thinking of you? I regularly send my friends cards for this reason, or leave them extended voicemails.

Proper amounts of sleep, nutrition and exercise are also fundamental aspects of obtaining life balance. Yes, there are times when each of these will be compromised. However, the point is to make each a priority, and to strive to maintain as much discipline as you can with making these aspects of your life a priority too. At times in my life when I was averaging 5-6 hours of sleep at night, not able to exercise or eat the proper food, I paid dearly for this by feeling overly stressed, exhausted and as if I had no control over my schedule or life. With help from friends and family, by reprioritizing these aspects of my life, I was able to get back on track and have my life come back into balance. Again, this was not easy, and I ask you to be kind to yourself and not become overly frustrated when you get out of balance. You also have to realize you are not a “super hero”, and it is fine to ask for help from others, as you can reciprocate when they will need you at some point.

Of course there are other facets of my life and yours you want to factor into the mix, and this is when it gets really interesting in terms of a balancing act. However, I think this is the fun part, as the “trick” to streamlining all the other facets of your life are accomplished by literally scheduling them, or writing them down on a “to do” list. As many of you know about me, I am a huge fan of “to do” lists. It’s because of these lists I am able to accomplish all I do, as I have found that if I write something down, it will get done. Once it is written down, it is like my “up-front-contract” to adhere to and to make it happen. Perhaps not in the exact timeframe of when I wanted it to, but as close to when it would be possible to accomplish the item (e.g., travel, coach and see our kids participate in their sporting or other activities, take a course, work on my hobbies, go to the gym, spend quality time with family/friends, etc.).

I am not saying my life is perfect, as I do not think there is such a thing, and I do believe you can strike a balance in your life and accomplish more than you imagine is possible. I firmly believe I have struck a balance in my life, and I look forward to continuing to do so given the opportunity. Lastly, I hope my shared experience on creating and having balance in my life might help you to do so too, or provide you with some thoughts on how to strike your own balance in life.

Thanks to Holden Laquerre and Patrick Sweeney for encouraging me to write, and by picking this topic from my list of topics to write about next. Up next will be the topic on “Staying passionate about something.”

Kathleen E. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Strategist and CMO of Market Me Too. Market Me Too has expertise in bridging marketing and sales teams and providing organizations techniques to accelerate their market growth, regardless of the industry they are in, or the business stage they are presently at. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com.

Does it matter how much presence you have?

Some people have presence because they speak loudly, or because they are trying to have presence. This is what I would refer to as having a false sense of presence. Conversely, the quiet person may have the greatest presence because they have gained tenure and the trust of others based on their life experiences.  Presence can be perceived from both a physical point of view, versus a philosophical point of view, as renowned entrepreneur and Forbes Magazine publisher, Malcom Forbes once said, “Presence is more than just being there.”

So, is it possible not to have presence? This sounds fairly philosophical, but in reality, everyone has presence. Boiling this down to the simplest concept, the difference between people is how much presence they have, and whether having presence is situational, or sustained. Another way of looking at the concept of presence, is whether it is different based on gender, age or geographic location. Taking this concept one step further, does it matter how much presence you have?

Thinking of presence as a physical concept, it may be easier to determine whether someone does or does not command a large sense of presence, or whether they simply are present. Does having presence or a greater amount of it gain you anything? In my opinion, I think it does. An example of this is when either actual leaders or perceived leaders or people who are around others, draw them in with their presence, and are able to influence them positively or negatively. This is potentially because they wield a sense of natural charisma, or command of others attention. People who have a sense of presence typically draw others to them, or others seek them out. Either party may or may not be aware of this happening. However, the people who are drawn to the individual with presence, would describe being drawn to the person with presence as a sense of magnetic pull.

Not being a scientist, but being a curious human, I wonder why would some people have more presence than others, and whether there are differences in the types of presence one can have. If presence is a physical attribute, perhaps it can be gained or lost over time? If the concept of presence is also more philosophical or situationally based, are the people with presence who are not defined as leaders, leaders in the making? In business, most leaders have a sense of presence, but there are clearly people who are not technically leaders who have a tremendous sense of presence among their peers.  Or, are these non-leader individuals at a juncture of becoming leaders given the right situation, timing and place?

If we agree everyone has presence, and it is a matter of how much on a measurement scale each person has, would you want to have an ability to gain more presence? Or, are you satisfied with the presence level you currently have? Lastly, have you given thought about whether you command a sense of presence when you are with others, or been told you have a strong sense of presence? I would enjoy hearing your thoughts about this topic, so drop me a note to let me know what you think.

Kathleen E. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Strategist and CMO of Market Me Too. Market Me Too has expertise in bridging marketing and sales teams and providing organizations techniques to accelerate their market growth, regardless of the industry they are in, or the business stage they are presently at. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com .