I’m moving my blog postings…


Thank you for following my posts each week. Some of you have been doing so for over five years! I took a break from posting an article this week, but I wanted to share some news with you.

My News:

This is a quick note to let you know that I am going to be posting my weekly blog on my company website starting on August 14, 2023. You can check back here to see previous posts, but to see my new work, you will need to visit (and I hope you do) my company site which is MarketMeToo.net

I’ll see you next week! Have a pleasant weekend, and thank you for following my posts. I am honored that you do.

Kind regards,

Kathleen E.R. Murphy

How your energy impacts others.

This weekend I was at a restaurant I go to from time to time, and it has a mellow vibe, but I don’t mind this because it is predictably this way. However, the other night, it had a completely different vibe. A lively one that was charged with positive and contagious energy. One of the manager’s commented on how they had never experienced this level of energy before…and they really liked it! I did too. The difference between this night and the others was that the clientele was entirely different than their typical patrons, as there was a private party who rented out the restaurant. 

I was happy that the manager noticed the shift in the vibe of their restaurant, and I give them props for realizing that by changing up their clientele mix, they would have both a more profitable restaurant, and one that which was more appealing too. The owner of the restaurant was reluctant to market their location differently, so the safe way to do this was to offer an evening to a clientele market they had not done so before. Sure, it was a risk, but one which paid off both monetarily, and from a potential shift in branding strategy.

In terms of thinking about how your energy, or the people you are personally or professionally associated with isn’t something you give much thought. At least not until the energy type swings dramatically differently. In the case of the restaurant, the energy shift was positive, but this type of shift can also be impacted by as few as one or two people. Perhaps you have experienced this? Or it’s possible you contributed to this shift? If you were contributing to the energy shift, were you aware of this? 

Having an awareness of your own energy level contribution is important, and many people are not tuned into the impact they are having. Granted, some people would be classified as neutral in terms of their energy output or impact level, but it’s the other ends of this which I am referring to. For me personally, I know my energy level is on the positive side, and that it can be highly charged. So, I need to be mindful and apply my emotional intelligence to the circumstances of the scenario I am in, so that I can provide the right level of energy. However, I can tell you that I have had lots of fun with being able to contribute my positive energy level when required. Although sometimes it can feel like an obligation, but I try not to think of it this way. Instead, I think of it more of sharing my gift or talent in this area.

When I am first meeting someone, one of the first things I sense is whether their energy level is similar of different than mine. When it is different, I will adjust mine so that it is not as dramatically different from the other person. Doing this allows me to keep in mind that I need to maintain my authenticity and not fully compromise who I am. In other words, I’ll tap into my awareness level of both who I am interacting with, and the circumstances of the interaction. Can this be taught? To a degree I believe it can, but the person who wants to improve either their energy level, or self-awareness are going to have to want to do this. If they have any hesitation in modifying either of these areas, it is going to be quite difficult to have them modify their behavior. 

If you are in a leadership position, sports coach or someone who wants to ensure your energy level is working in your favor, below are some suggestions I can offer to help you attempt, and perhaps master this with enough practice and focus. 

·      Consider a recent interaction you had with an individual. Were you aware, or are you now aware of how you were perceived by this person from an energy level perspective? 

·      Have you noticed whether after interacting with others they appear to be in a better frame of mind, or have a more positive attitude?

·      Going into an encounter with either a person or a group, think ahead how you want to come across. Do you want to appear to be confident, poised, articulate, intelligent, friendly, approachable or some other positive description? Perhaps all of these and more. You can achieve this by telling yourself ahead of time, or even during the conversation that you are all of these things. Essentially, focus on talking nicely to yourself, and being mindfully and positively supportive. 

·      If your energy level is low going into a scenario, consider either finding a way to pause your initial approach, either physically or mentally, and then proceeding when your mindset is in the manner you want it to be. 

·      If you are a leader or sports coach, ask your trusted advisor to offer you feedback on how they have seen you interact with those you are leading. Be prepared for them to offer you feedback which may not favorable, but it should be constructive. More importantly, please appreciate the fact they are taking a risk in offering it to you, and that your initial reaction might be to act defensively. Attempt to fully listen to what they have so say, as this will offer you the best opportunity to improve your leadership energy level. 

·      The performance levels of teams can be dramatically impacted by low or negative energy. Be aware of if this is occurring, heading in that direction, and have a plan to change the energy level in your team’s favor.

·      Having a neutral energy level is perfectly acceptable. 

·      If your energy level tends to lean towards being negative, commit to understanding what the contributing factors are to having it be this way. Then when you are ready to do so, work towards shifting towards having a neutral energy level as your goal, as having a positive one might be both difficult to achieve and maintain without a fierce commitment to altering your more natural energy state. 

Have some fun with appreciating the energy level you have, how it impacts others and whether you can leverage your energy in your favor, instead of it detracting from who you are. 

TAGS: #Leadership #Awareness #Business #Motivation #Howtoadjustyourenergylevel #Strategy #Management #Sales #Sports #Leader #Sportscoach #Personalimpact #Positiveimpact #Energy #Perception #Selfperception #Selfawareness

Is your negative energy impacting others?

Sometimes I feel I have a superpower which allows me to sense other people’s energy levels. In many scenarios this can be in my favor, but when I am experiencing someone who is casting off negative energy, this becomes a challenge. A challenge for both myself, and for the person who may in fact not realize how others are picking up on the negativity they are emitting.

There are people who will describe themselves as being empathic and tell you this is the reason they can feel other people’s energy levels, or the dispositions they have at that moment in time. I’m not suggesting that I am one of these people, but I do believe I am able to pick up and am quite sensitive to other people’s inner emotions. Emotions which appear at times to be seeping out of them, and without them realizing this. Compare this to the analogy of cool or hot air leaking out from a building. You may not be able to see it, but it is occurring.

One thing which has always amazed me about people is their either casual unawareness or full dismissal of how their mood, attitude or presence is impacting others. Perhaps there are some people who are aware of their moods or negative attitudes, but they have not learned how to contain them. Or, to mask them in some manner which would be likely the appropriate response in most instances. Sure, there are times when it is acceptable to show your emotions, but the negative ones are not the ones you want to be showcasing on a regular basis.

If people were given a choice of whether they had the decision to be around negative people, most of them would tell you they would not select that option. However, the reality is that there are many professional and personal situations which we may not have the option to make this choice. Especially if you are on a business or sports team.

Teams can be a challenging entity to lead and manage the dynamics associated with it. This becomes more problematic when there are individuals on the team who are unaware of the impact of how their negative mood, attitude or presence is affecting others.  Usually not in a positive or productive manner either. Do these people realize they are having the type of impact they are? Often, they do not, and there are a number of contributing reasons why they are behaving this way.

One of the reason’s is that they are selfish and think that the team revolves around them. Just because they are on a team, doesn’t mean someone has adopted what I will refer to as the ‘we’ versus their ‘me’ attitude they haven’t shed yet. This scenario and behavior isn’t only reserved for people in a particular decade of life. It is independent of this, as it is more of a mindset, and maturity level that some people reach sooner than others. Some actually struggle with ever getting to this place. The place of being unselfish.

Consider someone you know who is unselfish. Generally, they rarely complain, and they also tend to put the needs of others ahead of theirs. They make great teammates and are more enjoyable to be with because of their pleasant attitude and outlook which tends to be more positive than their negative counterparts.

Another contributor to someone who has emits negative energy is that they are immature from a personal development perspective. They also haven’t cracked the code yet on appreciating that others are in fact picking up on their negative disposition, and not benefitting from this in any way. In fact, what is worse, is that the negative energy they are emitting is taking positive energy away from the people they are around. Do you think this impacts either the individual or the entire team’s performance? Of course, it does, and not in the way any team would want it to do so.

Leaders and sports coaches are faced with the challenge of how to handle people on their team with negative moods, dispositions, or energy draining on a regular basis. As we know, negative energy can come and go. However, it is in the containment of it, or the awareness of how to be able to minimize its impact so that it doesn’t have a wider spread impact on a team. Doing this is critical for high performance leaders and their teams to master, as it will either positively contribute or reduce their level of achievements if it isn’t accomplished. Some leaders and sports coaches are better at this than others, as it can be quite frustrating to both confront and manage this mastery on a regular basis.

So, are there ways to address handling people who are negatively impacting your team? Yes, there are, and here are some suggestions to “test drive”.

  • Conversations with negative people should always be handled in private and one-on-one so they do not feel as threatened or get more defensive and shut down on you.
  • When opening your conversation with the individual, ask them how they think they are being perceived by others? You will likely be fascinated with their response.
  • Ask the person to rate on a scale of 1-5, 5 being the highest what their level of their mood, disposition or self-awareness level is?
  • Since they will likely ask you to give them some examples of how they are being perceived, I literally will tell them and use the analogy of showing them this information as if I was holding up a mirror to them as they are acting with their negative behavior.
  • If the person is unaware of their behavior, ask them if they would like to be supported with altering this behavior? Often, they will tell you yes. However, you will need to have an understanding with them that as you are helping them, they need to focus on being able to receive the feedback as being constructive and not as a personal attack.
  • When the person has asked for help to modify their behavior, they also need to commit to working on it until their behavior starts to change. Generally changing any type of behavior will take at least six weeks, so patience will be needed from both parties to achieve the desired end results.
  • If a person isn’t willing to try to modify their negative energy impact, you may need to ultimately dismiss them from the team.

The impact that one person can have on a team can be enormously beneficial, although if their impact is negative and isn’t addressed by a leader, it will not serve you, the person in question, or the rest of the team well. Don’t delay in addressing this challenge, as it is well understood and realistic to say that it won’t just magically go away if you ignore it.

TAGS: #Leadership #Teams #Leader #Leadership #Leader #Sports #Sportsteam #Sportscoach #Awareness #Selfawareness #Negativity #Success #Motivation #Communication #Strategytips #Teamdynamics