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September 26, 2022

Choosing words that matter.

Even a small word such as yes can make a difference in someone’s life when it is stated at the right time and to the correct person. Consider the last time you expressed this word, and what the context of using it was. Now that you have hindsight on having said “yes”, was this the optimal word to have chosen? Or, would you have rather expressed another word?

It’s not always easy to cobble together words that will have a positive impact, and some people are clearly better at doing this than others. Does it take practice to be able to do this? For most people it does, but there are people who have the ability to be both articulate, succinct

and expressive in a way that will the majority of time have a positive impact based on what they have expressed. I’m sure you also can name someone who does this well.

We don’t always have the chance to practice stating something that will have a positive impact on someone, and even when we have an opportunity to write and then convey our message, it might not achieve its intended purpose. Although the chances of it doing so in writing might be slightly higher because of the reality that you can edit your message, we know there are no guarantees. Which is exactly why choosing the right word or words and stating them to others can be so difficult. Yet, having the ability to do so is certainly worth striving to achieve.

When the right words are conveyed to either another person or a group, it’s always interesting to learn post the message delivery about the variety of impacts and interpretations the listeners had. About half of the listeners will be in agreement with what they heard, while the remaining half will have varying degrees of either taking action on, needing more time to digest the information or potentially not have any impact on them.

When people in a group setting are hearing words expressed to them that are intended to have a positive impact, and the impact doesn’t affect them the way the speaker thought it would, places both the message conveyer and listeners into an interesting place. One that isn’t always ideal, yet provides an opportunity to also dissect what went wrong with the message delivery.

A recent conversation I was having with a leader related to actually not leveraging an opportunity to have the power of their words impact their team. Instead of conveying upfront what they intended the outcome of a situation to be, they opted not to express what they anticipated the results would be. So, the outcome which resulted was highly disappointing to the team, but the leader was in a neutral state, and this caused unintended consequences.

Upon having a post-mortem conversation with this leader about their decision not to leverage words to inspire or express their intentions to the team about how they were perceiving the outcome of the opportunity the team was involved with, was what I refer to as an “ahh-ha” moment. The fact of the matter is that there was a missed opportunity to state up front how the leader would have leveraged the power of expressing what they were thinking, and it was completely different than how the team was thinking and reacted without any explanation. Given this scenario, this is what I refer to as a perfect “course correction” situation. One that provided the chance to leverage the power of words to do so, yet didn’t occur.

At this moment in time, there isn’t closure on the example noted, but there is a next step. The next step is to have a conversation with the leader about how to fully appreciate and apply the power of words to both their own and their teams benefit. Will the initial time they do this have the intended impact they are expecting? I believe it will, and yes, it will take them practice to become better at doing this. However, it’s exactly what they need to do as a leader, and their team also needs them to do. In fact, the team expects this from their leader, and it is an enormous missed opportunity when this doesn’t happen.

If you are a leader or sports team coach or someone who hasn’t been benefitting from the practice of choosing words that matter, below are some suggestions to get you started.

Consider what words inspire you. Write them down, and begin practicing using them in sentences on a one-on-one basis with people you regularly interact with.
Do some research and listen and read about others who are inspirational speakers.
Pay closer attention during conversations to appreciate who is having a positive impact on you based on how they are conveying their message to you.
Words can be like weapons, and have unintended negative consequences. So, make sure that the words you choose are meant to be supportive and not punitive.
Work on finding your communication style and comfort zone when it is time to convey your words to others. You don’t have to imitate others styles, as it will be both hard to do, and isn’t likely your natural communication style.
Always think about what the intended end goal of your communication will be, as sometimes your communication and the words you choose will have different purposes.
Factor in making sure that your body language is in alignment with what your words are expressing.
Appreciate and be highly responsible for the words you choose to express to others, as they might have a lifelong impact on them.

I’m excited about the opportunity I have today to see the leader I referenced above, and to have a second chance of helping them to leverage their words. Words that I know they want to positively impact the intended outcome for their team today. Let’s hope the suggestions above are ones that will benefit both you and the team you lead. Or, to have a positive impact on any future conversations you are having with others.

TAGS: #Leaders #Sportscoaches #Communication #Powerfulcommunication #Leadership #Motivation #Inspiration #Business #Sports #Sportsteams #Thepowerofwords #Influence #Theimpactofwords #Professionaldevelopment #Personaldevelopment #Growthmindset

July 25, 2022August 3, 2022

New leaders. What are their challenges?

There is something both intriguing and slightly anxiety provoking about newly minted leaders. We know that seldomly do new leaders take the same path to get to where they have arrived, although there may be some common experiences which landed them their title. We also know that some leaders who were put into the position, clearly do not belong there. Perhaps not now, or ever.

Consider a leader you may have worked for that was relatively “green” or less experienced than other leaders you have been associated with. Were there aspects about the approach to how they lead others that you either were impressed by, or were somewhat skeptical of? How was their communication style? Did you have any concerns about how they conveyed information, or did their style lend itself to being acceptable on most levels? What about their grasp of being open-minded and humble enough to accept the fact they were going to need a fair amount of support to guide them? Both in their early days as a leader, and then by their trusted advisors as time goes by.

My experience of working with people who are placed into leadership roles that were not given support resources in their early days, either by choice, or from their lack of awareness for need to have this support in place have not fared as well as the leaders who were given support. Even in some cases minor support. They also benefitted from having support which came in a variety of different formats (e.g., expertise in the areas of strategy, finance, management, sales, culture and communication) to name some of the key areas.

The leaders who didn’t either have access to, or refused to have support due to being overly confident in their abilities are the ones who not far into their leadership role, quickly became overwhelmed. They also often struggle with their communication and management abilities, and worse, made less than sound and rational decisions when they were under the immense pressure they were facing. Of course, these challenges lead to other challenges, which include having difficulty with building trust amongst not only their team they lead, but this had a trickle-down effect. As you might imagine, not the one they would want to continue.

One of the aspects I have always been puzzled by with new leaders, is their overzealous optimism that they have all the experience they need to be deemed fully competent on day one. Realistically no one is, but being humble about this is not only realistic and appreciated by those they are leading, but it also affords them the opportunity to ramp up faster. How? Because the people who are supporting them are more willing to do so because of what I’ll refer to as a refreshing leadership approach or style that appeals to others because it is a more inclusive leadership style. A style that distributes responsibilities and offers people a way to quickly feel more united as a team, as they are working more collaboratively from the onset.

Of course, there is a fair amount of trust the new leader will have to grant to their teams when their style is oriented more towards collaboration, but I have seen this approach work brilliantly, and with minimal downsides. One of the reasons, is due to the fact that it becomes quickly apparent when leadership responsibilities are distributed, who is, or who isn’t pulling their weight, or equally contributing to the organization’s or teams’ collective goals. This isn’t a style that most newly minted leaders are comfortable with, as they often make the classic mistake of trying to do too many things on their own without support. Perhaps they may have done so when they were in an individual contributor role, or had fewer people to manage and lead. I’ve seen this management regression style occur too many times, and the ending is never the one which is desirable.

So, are there actions new leaders can take to help set them up for early success? Yes, there absolutely are, and here are some suggestions on how they can do this.

Set-up a small group of outside advisors you can meet with who will be able to provide you with reasonable, objective and actionable advice in a very timely manner.
Take note of some less than desirable management actions you resort to when you are under pressure, and come up with a few methods to course correct your actions when you begin to see this occurring.
Are you fully aware of your management style, or have you even fully defined what your style is?
If you do not have a style that you are aware of, or if it is one that you would like to improve upon, what can you do within the next few weeks to redefine your style? Consider whether you will be able to make these changes on your own, or with some others supporting you. Either internally or externally.
On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the highest, how would you rate your level of being open-minded?
Have you determined what your level of awareness is in terms of how you impact others by way of your own skills in the areas of motivation, collaboration, communication and performance?
How concerned are you in terms of the level of risk of your success in your first few years as a leader?
Have you defined what your own metrics will be to determine what success will look like for you? It may or may not be in alignment with what others you are leading deem to be acceptable, realistic or achievable.
Don’t be afraid or concerned about asking for help. You are going to need more support than you think you will, and by all means, please accept and embrace it.

Even though others want you to be successful, make sure you set yourself up for success by putting people and methods in place which will help to both mitigate your risk of failure, and more importantly, set you up for the success you desire to achieve and have worked really long and hard to get to the point of being in your new leadership role.

TAGS: #Leadership #Success #Motivation #Communication #Teams #Strategy #Embracingsupport #Embracinghelp #Achievement #Awareness #Selfawareness #Leadershipstyle

March 14, 2022June 15, 2022

Being limitless, and tips on how to be this way as a leader or individual.

I’ve never been the type of person who imposes restrictions upon myself, or others. The funny thing about this, is how many people I have seen do this to themselves. Whether this is something they are doing intentionally is up for debate. When I encounter someone who is doing this, I will ask them if they are aware of my perception of them that this is something they are doing?

Generally, the answer is that they are not aware of this perception, and will typically ask me for examples of them doing this. The curious thing for me, is that the examples I give them are from my perspective so obvious. More puzzling to me is that my examples appear to be ones they never have heard of before, yet when I point them out, they have an “aaahh-ha” moment of complete clarity. Why is this happening, and is it possible for people to course correct on this challenge themselves?

The answer is that yes, people can course correct, and become more aware of them seemingly being blind to not seeing how they place restrictions on themselves. However, one thing they will need to do first, is to be open-minded and willing to accept the fact they are doing this.

Let’s face a reality here. We know that not everyone is open-minded, but I will stress that everyone does have the capacity to be so. This is one of the keys to allowing yourself to become limitless in terms of how to set yourself up differently as both an individual, or leader. Potentially leaders could be constricted with being open-minded based on rules and regulations they may have imposed on them from others they need to answer to. Not always, and there are always exceptions to this.

Being open-minded and independent as a leader does not mean you have to completely compromise your desire to exercise these characteristics. Although chances are greater that you may need to be more creative and influential to obtain your goals to maintain your or other’s ability to be limitless in your thinking. This should be a challenge most leaders are familiar with, and I’m not suggesting it is easy to accomplish this. However, it will be worth the effort to pursue making this happen.

Focusing on you right now, consider a time in your life when you felt you didn’t have any restrictions imposed on your life or thinking. For context, this is in terms of your thinking and actions which could be coordinated to help you to have unlimited possibilities to pursue and achieve. Yes, responsibilities in one’s life will somewhat hinder unlimited thinking opportunities, but again the strategy is to find work arounds for them. Think of challenges as being simply obstacles that need to be overcome, and that every one of them has at least one solution to do so. This is ideally when your open-mindedness thinking is going to come into play, and yes, you can be open-minded, even if you don’t think it’s possible to be this way.

In terms of tips to help you to become more limitless with your thinking, below are some suggestions I have for you to consider applying.

Do you have a clear idea of what you actually want to accomplish? Is this written down anywhere, or have you expressed your vision about what you want to achieve?
If you have not written down a list of what you want to accomplish, this is the perfect time to do so, and yes, right after reading this story.
Once you have your list, write down next to the items what would be obstacles which would prevent you from accomplishing what you want to achieve.
The next step will be for you to come up with a third row which will provide you with solutions to overcome the obstacles you have factored in.
The fourth step is going to be putting your list into action, and potentially sharing it with those who it will impact. You are going to want to have others bought into what you are trying to do, and when they are, it will make it much easier to partner with them to help you to do so. Particularly if you are a leader, or sports team coach.
Thinking retrospectively, have there been times in your life when you limited yourself? Be honest with yourself, of course there were. This is fine, and even better to admit. More importantly is to peel back your thinking in terms of why you did this. Take some time to think this through, and consider whether there is something similar in your life you are faced with right now, and which you might be doing the exact same thing?
Is there a pattern you have established which has contributed to closing off your mind and life or professional world from being able to achieve what you want to because you have self-imposed restrictions on why you can’t do something? You fill in the blank on this, as I guarantee there are more restrictions you have placed upon yourself than you might have been willing to admit. This is one of the reasons why people succumb to being closed minded and introduce restrictions on what they can accomplish personally or professionally.
Are you fully committed to attempting to be more accepting of the fact you have not been able to allow yourself to be limitless in your thinking, yet, want to make a concerted effort in achieving being this way?
My final suggestion is to give yourself permission to think differently, and to slowly accept that it is possible to do so.

I have personally seen many people transform their way of thinking to be more open-minded, and yes, this does take some practice. No, you will not be an overnight success in attempting to master this, but you will get there. Even better is that once you are solidly on the path to being limitless with your thinking, I can guarantee you will have a lot more fun in your life, and be able to achieve things you never imagined would be possible.

TAGS: #Leadership #Business #Motivation #Success #Tipsonbeingunlimitedinyourthinking #Unlimitedpossibilities #Sportscoach #Thinkingdifferently #Empoweringyourself #Teams #Openmindedness #Beingopenminded #Howtobeopenminded #Tiponhowtobeopenminded

November 8, 2021June 15, 2022

Is it really everyone else’s fault?

I would like to think everyone is taught the basic elements of being a responsible person, and that there will be times in their lives when they need to assume ownership of something they did wrong. Obviously, we know no one is perfect. So, given this reality, it is acceptable to assume we all make mistakes. However, why is it that some people we know don’t ever own up to an incident being something they are at fault with?

Yes, it can be enormously frustrating when you are dealing with a person in your life that is always assigning blame to others. It’s also remarkable they have zero self-awareness of the fact they are likely the reason for the negative incident occurring. Does this sound like someone you know? Or, perhaps this might be a revelation for you, and that for the first time in your life, realize perhaps it’s not always someone else’s fault.

One of the best memories I have professionally of a colleague owning up to making a mistake, was when they admitted this during a company version of a town hall meeting. In fact, they boldly stated in the middle of the company meeting that they had something they wanted to share with the rest of the company. As you can imagine, most people were caught off guard, in a good way, by this individual’s announcement.

What did the person admit making a mistake about? They told their colleagues they had made a calculation mistake in forecasting their sales number, and that it was going to have a negative impact on the rest of the sales team. Keep in mind this was an individual salesperson, and making this pronouncement was an extremely bold move. However, the outcome from making this information available to the rest of the company had an amazingly positive impact.

The impact the mistake being made, and assuming complete ownership of it at that moment in time changed the dynamics of the company culture. How? It did so because the bravery it took for this person to own up to making a mistake, and then having others support, instead of condemning them was remarkable. The others on the sales team rallied for the rest of the month to help offset the forecast mistake, and there was a renewed sense of trust that evolved. Not only for the sales team members, but for others in the company.

By this one individual owning up to making a mistake publicly, it gave permission to others to do the same thing. It also allowed their colleagues to know that if they were in the same circumstance, that they were going to be better off not assigning blame to others. Even better, was that it would acceptable to ask for support from them, especially if they made a mistake.

If you know someone, or are unsure about whether you are the type of person who constantly assigns blame to others, and never acknowledges you are at fault, here are some suggestions to help you or someone you know, reconsider owning up to their mistakes. For context, this is instead of always blaming someone else for them, or for why you were wronged.

Yes, this will be hard to do, but do your best to consider the other persons perspective. There is a distinct possibility theirs isn’t entirely wrong.
The next time you are in a situation when you would automatically blame someone else for doing something wrong, or not the way you want it to be done, think about whether in fact you might have contributed to the mistake. Realistically there is a 50% chance you may have.
If you are always casting blame on others, think about how is it possible for you to be right 100% of the time. The last time I checked, I have yet to come across anyone who is perfect.
Even if you don’t think you are to blame for being at fault for something, consider whether there is a middle ground that you and the other person involved in the situation could agree upon.
Now this will be going to an extreme for you if you are the type of person who always thinks they are correct, and never at fault. However, what if you considered apologizing and letting the other person or group know that you may have contributed to the situation not turning out well? I’m sure the people on the receiving end of hearing this will be pleasantly surprised, and so will you be with their reaction to your apology.
Just like anything we want to become excellent at doing, practicing owning up and assuming responsibility for our mistakes, acknowledging and apologizing for them is what you will have to begin doing to not be “that person” who is never wrong.

The best leaders I have worked with are humble, empathetic and very often admit they are wrong, or that they do not have all of the right solutions. They do however, embrace working collaboratively with others to find a way to agree to a solution that will work for the majority of people. Consider the next time you are about to cast blame on someone else, what this will actually accomplish.

Tags: #Business #Leadership #Leaders #Responsibility #Ownership #PeopleManagement #Teams #Management #Personaldevelopment

October 25, 2021June 15, 2022

Why you should give someone a chance or an opportunity.

The first time I had a chance to professionally give someone an opportunity was when I was in my twenties, and it involved hiring my first employee. I can vividly recall both the excitement and trepidation I felt about making the decision to hire this person. It wasn’t because I was concerned about them being able to do the job, it was because of the fact I did not have experience with knowing how to manage another person. It turns out thirty years later I did find out that I did know how to manage someone, and they sent me a hand-written letter expressing their gratitude to me for giving them a chance, and hiring them.

At that point in time, I had been managed by other people, and fortunately I had some amazing bosses, and one not so amazing one. In some respects, I probably learned more from the not-so-great manager, and this was because I was cataloging in my mind things they did that I would never want to do as a manager. One of them was to be a micromanager, and unfortunately for me, they had this skill down perfectly. However, the best news about my least favorite manager was that they gave me a chance to enter a new career which I proceeded to be in for another twenty plus years.

Upon looking back on the opportunity that manager gave me, I realized that they must have seen something in me which warranted bringing me onto their team. As I think more about why they did this, I would say it was because we were complete opposites in terms of our methods of how we interacted professionally. He was extremely introverted, and you guessed it, I was the opposite of this. My ability to interact and get along with others helped him to bridge the gap he had with interacting with all of the employees we had to work with. In some respects, I now realize that he did become better at working with people, and perhaps some of this had to do with me demonstrating how to do so.

With few exceptions, everyone has at least one time in their life when they either can recall, or will have a situation personally or professionally to give another person a chance. Either to do something trivial, or perhaps extraordinary.

Consider a recent scenario when you may have actually passed and did not give another person an opportunity. If you broke down the reasons why you didn’t give them a chance, was it because you were afraid they might make you look bad? Was it because you were concerned you would have to spend a great deal of time mentoring them? Or, was it because you didn’t think they would “fit in” with the team?

If you didn’t hire someone because you didn’t think they would fit in, chances are high that this was based on a bias you may have had, but would never admit to. Or perhaps it was because you had a gut instinct that something wasn’t quite right on a number of different levels, but you may not have been able to articulate exactly what they were. It was purely a feeling you had.

In the case of not giving someone a chance was oriented around a negative bias, I want you to seriously think about something. Did you feel intimidated by this individual? Were you concerned they might outperform you at some point? Perhaps their intelligence level was greater than yours, or possibly their EQ was obviously higher than yours? The point is, that you were afraid on some level, but may not have considered this as a factor.

The interesting aspect of being afraid is that most of the time, our fear is based on something irrational. Although there are occasions when it is real. However, most of the time, the fear we have is in our minds, and if we took the time to potentially override this, imagine the outcome of many of our decisions. One time I heard a great acronym for fear, and I have always thought about this myself when I felt fearful. The acronym for F.E.A.R. is “false expectations appearing real”. This simple statement has course corrected many of my own decisions throughout the journey of my life, and I hope it might provide you with a new way of confronting your own fears.

To help you increase your odds of giving another person a chance or opportunity, here are some suggestions to consider:

· Think about how much giving the person a chance might change the trajectory of their personal or professional life. It might not be that dramatic of an impact, but then again, it might.

· What is the worst-case scenario of this person being given a chance, and having them fail?

· Look at what you can do to set the person up for success. If you are a leader, this is always something you should be doing. No exceptions.

· Be honest with the person about any reservations you have about giving them an opportunity, and let them mitigate any concerns you have.

· Nothing is permanent, and taking a chance on someone doesn’t have to be either, so err on giving one.

· Consider how this person might compliment, augment or even out strengths you or others on your team have.

· Mentoring someone can be a great on ramp, or interim option prior to fully committing to giving someone a chance if you are hesitant in doing so.

· Do your best to override your fear of helping this person out. It might turn out to be the best decision you ever made, and hiring my first employee turned out that way.

With few exceptions, everyone deserves to be given an opportunity. Whether it is to succeed, be included or be given more responsibility. The list is endless in terms of the benefits both that person and you will gain when you are in a position to give someone a chance. Keeping in mind, that someone likely gave you at one point or more in your life.

TAGS: #Leadership #Personaldevelopment #Business #Teams #Mentor #Success #Opportunity #Givingsomeoneachance #Bias #Leader #Sales