The importance of “thinking time”, and how to do this.

Taking the time to think may seem like a simple thing to do. Depending on what you are thinking about, it certainly could be. However, if you are doing what is referred to as critical thinking, this type of thinking can be more difficult to do. Why? Because it will require you to factor in a number of different variables related to the topic you are contemplating.

Critical thinking is also usually associated with topics which may have multiple outcome possibilities. Some of which will be in your favor with the more experience you have either personally or professionally. Although this doesn’t mean you are incapable of exercising critical thinking if you do not have much life or professional experience.

Having just taken a vacation, I spent a fair amount of time on my vacation exercising critical thinking on a number of different topics. One of the topics was about mindset. In fact, I experimented with testing out the concept of having a positive mindset most of the time I was on vacation. During the few times that my mindset was not positive, it generally had to do with the fact I was tired, or had not been getting enough exercise or the right type of healthy food.

The other topic I spent a fair amount of time critically thinking about, was leadership, and what impact leaders have on those they lead. Since I have been conducting research for the past year on aspects of leadership associated with sports coaches and the teams they lead, my thinking about this topic has significantly expanded, and in a very constructive manner. It has been expanded due to having new insight into the different methods sports’ coaches have leveraged to lead their teams.

When I compare and contrast the difference between sports and workplace/business leaders, the most surprising aspect difference between the two types of leaders, isn’t one you might expect. In fact, I was pleasantly surprised by how sports coaches are much more willing to “test drive” multiple leadership methods than business leaders are. When I first started thinking about why this might be occurring, I first thought about how sports leaders have an enormous advantage over business leaders. What is this advantage? It’s quite simple, and it is that the sports team leaders’ teams all are singularly focused on one thing. Winning.

Of course, the business leaders’ teams also want to “win”, but their success is measured differently, and they are also motivated differently than sports teams are. From a critical thinking perspective, the sports coach leaders have a great advantage over the business leaders because the business teams may say they all share a common goal, but in reality, many of them don’t. I can credibly tell you this from having spent over twenty-five years in the business world, and I have both seen and experienced this for decades. I’ll refer to as a phenomenon.

The business leaders who were able to get their teams to at least appear to be on the “same page” from a goal perspective, and who were able to achieve what were classified as their success measurements or KPI’s (key performance metrics), achieved this with a different set of challenges than the sports coach leaders did. Yes, both types of leaders had equally challenging experiences with achieving their goals, but I can tell you that if the business leaders took a page out of the proverbial “playbook” of the sports coach leaders, it would make their jobs both more fulfilling, and less frustrating.

The “playbook” aspect I am referring to has to do with assigning more value to understanding team dynamics, and the top sports coaches in the US and outside of the US that I spoke to, understand this innately. They also assign and allocate both time, resources, and money to making sure that they get their team dynamics right. The results from the sports coaches who have “cracked the code” on understanding and applying methods to making their team dynamics work in their favor, are not only impressive, but should be better understood and applied outside of the sports team industry.

Since having spent the last year doing research on sports teams and team dynamics, I have had to do an enormous amount of critical thinking. Especially during the time I have been analyzing the results of my work. Here are some of the aspects of critical thinking I can share with you if you are interested in both understanding the importance of critical thinking, and why you should be taking more time to do so on a regular basis.

  • Critical thinking is more than having an opinion about something.
  • To be a critical thinker, you need to reserve the time to do so, be reflective and factor in multiple variables about the topic you are considering.
  • Patience is also required when you are attempting to spend time on critically thinking about the topic you are focusing on. Yes, this can be frustrating, as we live and work in a culture that demands an immediate sense of gratification, and critically thinking about a topic doesn’t always permit you to have an immediate answer or response.
  • Exercising and getting in shape can be compared to critical thinking, as it is the type of thinking which requires discipline, persistence and considering doing a number of different methods to get to the result you are seeking, or want to have options to consider.
  • You don’t always have to critically think alone. Although most of the time people do this type of thinking as a solo practice. Involving other people in your critical thinking discussion, is best suited when you have someone moderating the discussion.
  • When you regularly exercise your ability to critically think things through, you become much more skilled at making better decisions versus rash or impulsive ones. Decisions that will cause you to regret not having thought through the situation you were in.

If you don’t currently pride yourself in being a critical thinker yet, give yourself credit for contemplating what it will take to master this skill. Especially if you are looking to either lead others, or if you want to improve upon your current leadership skills.

TAGS: #Leadership #Business #CriticalThinking #Teams #SportsCoach #Leader #BusinessLeader #Success #Thinking #HowToCriticallyThinkThingsThrough #TipsOnHowToBeACriticalThinker #Sportsteams #Research

Reputation. What’s yours worth?

Our reputations are a curious topic to dissect. Namely because they are often in a variety of different states of how you might describe them. One of the states to describe someone’s reputation is steady. Of course, you want to be on the side of having your reputation be factoring as a positive one, but the reality is that reputations can also be fluid and delicate.

Yes, reputations can be strong too, but we know that one circumstance can be detrimental to a carefully crafted reputation built over decades. Fortunately, most people’s reputations are generally in a steady state, but I would suggest it is always wise to be strengthening it. I’m certain you would agree with this, so let’s chalk this up as a category most people can agree upon.

Reputations are earned, but sometimes a person’s reputation might be based on perception. A perception that may or may not be positive, and generally by others who you would not consider to be in your inner circle. Does it matter what others outside of your inner circle think about your reputation? It depends. You will need to take a moment to consider what value you place on your current reputation.

Although the perception of your reputation can be influenced by your own actions, sometimes outside influences will either strengthen or weaken it. For example, the people you associate with personally may have an impact on your reputation. Depending on your level of self-awareness, you may or may not be aware of whether those you associate yourself with are adding value or detracting from how others perceive you. If you don’t care about this, well my caution flag is to let me know you should at a minimum acknowledge this.

When you acknowledge factors contributing to the health and well-being of your reputation, or the opposite of this, you will be in a better place to evaluate whether decisions you have made are impacting your personal or professional paths forward. In other words, only you are the “captain” of your reputation ship, and at the end of the day, you will have to own up to how or why you are in the situation you are in.

The media is famous for showcasing the demise of people’s lives, and of course most of us will not have our misjudgments splashed in front of others. However, in smaller circles that most people operate in, it will be harder to measure the effects of something you may have overtly or inadvertently done to tarnish your personal or professional brand. I think of brand and reputation as being close cousins, and all of us would prefer to have both of these in good standing.

Let’s give some thought to what your reputation can do for you. If you have a strong and positive reputation, it can open up opportunities for you, by way of people granting you upfront trust. Trust that is given based on the perception that your strong reputation is worthy of investing in. Giving others hope also factors into someone who has built up their brand, as they will perceive that you will be able to do something favorable based on your historical track record of demonstrating this before.

So, opportunity and hope are a great starting place in terms of what having a strong reputation can do for you, but what else can it do, and how can you maintain this status? Another area that a solid reputation provides you with is having a more positive future outlook. An outlook that allows you to have a lens of seeing how to strategically capitalize on all of the experience you have gained, and which has resulted in the personal brand you have crafted. Although this might seem like a minor factor, and one which is easy to master, it’s in fact one of the most difficult things to do, short of maintaining a rock-solid reputation.

As I established that we can all agree upon the fact it is ideal to have a strong reputation both personally and professionally, it is possible to have a split reputation. One that in your personal life might be quite different from your professional life. This isn’t always the case, but I have seen people with stellar professional reputations, but have seen shades of their personal lives falling far from being described this way, and vice versa. Having a split reputation isn’t ideal, as it takes a tremendous of precious energy to hold up the good side, while balancing out the perils and impact the negative side has.

Since ideally having a more robust reputation is ideal for everyone, I have some suggestions for you to consider how to continue to enhance your reputation.

  • If you had to rate whether you are internally or externally focused in terms of helping others, on a scale of 1-5, with 5 being the top rating, what rating would you give yourself? Hint, helping others is one way to enhance your all-around reputation.
  • Via a research project I am working on, one of the Sports Coaches I was interviewing told me they do not recruit “jerks”. I’ll let you be the judge of what constitutes being a jerk.
  • As I’ve written about before, “nice” isn’t a four-letter word. Yes, being nice will always enhance your reputation.
  • Make sure you are aware of how you are treating others at all times. Ask yourself, would I want to be treated this way? Sometimes you have to pause before your actions speak louder than your words.
  • Acknowledging and giving credit to others when credit is due is a powerful way of building both trust and loyalty, which in turn positively contributes to your reputation.
  • Taking the time to thank others goes along with acknowledging others who have helped or supported you. Ideally the written format of a thank you note is more powerful and longer lasting than words which can be fleeting. Perhaps consider sending a micro video thank you message.

The list of what you can do to further develop your reputation is endless, and as I like to do, I’m going to challenge you with sharing with me and others additional ways to go about accomplishing this. Especially if you are in a leadership role, as this will give you another opportunity to lead by example.

TAGS: #Leadership #Reputation #Buildingyourreputation #Howtostrengthenyourrepuration #Motivation #Business #Sportscoach #Leader

Making opportunities appear…and happen.

Why does it seem like some people are gifted in the area of having an easier life or more experiences and opportunities coming their way? Are they more magnetic than others in terms of attracting them? Actually, they are. However, the good news is that anyone can be in this situation.

When you think about looking from the outside into other people’s careers or lives, most people who are looking are doing so via the proverbial rose-colored glasses. In other words, they are not taking into consideration the how and why other people who seemingly have a charmed situation got there. I guarantee you it’s not the way you think they did.

Our perception of “how” other people have accomplished something is generally way off base from reality, and we typically envision that everything is much easier or convenient for someone else. Why do we do this? Because it’s nearly impossible to fully appreciate all of the experience and potential struggles it took someone to be a position which currently looks easy.

For example, we know that professional athletes spend decades preparing to participate at the level they are at, yet their career is generally one serious injury away from severely disrupting or ending their career. If they are fortunate enough to avoid or minimize their level of injuries, they have often done so via specialized training to strengthen their body to withstand injuries that non-professional athletes could not tolerated.

Depending on what your definition of career success is, and how you measure your success, the people you would classify as being successful in their profession arrived there as a result of many different and possible paths. The path all of them had in common was that they were all tenacious and persistent in their pursuits. Especially when they encountered setbacks. The setbacks which occurred are not always seen or appreciated by others, but play a critical part in the journey the individual was on.  

I love the saying “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”. This basic phrase deliciously packages and summarizes what I have heard some of the most accomplished people state over and over again. Perhaps not exactly this phrase, but the purest sentiment of it. When others would see their situation being fraught with difficulty due to obstacles of any kind, the people who encounter them, see them as opportunities to recalculate and recalibrate. When they do this, they are crafting opportunities which did not exist prior to the setback.

Instead of bemoaning what could have, should have or would have been, the people who are able to move past what happened are able to take back control, and retool their situation.  In many cases, to have a far better opportunity appear.  Some of the best inventions we now live with are classic examples of what prior to it existing was a result of a prior failed one (e.g., wheels, electricity, automobiles, computers, refrigerators).  These are strong examples of someone being persistent and not allowing a setback, or many of them, to block their forward progress.

When I think about the leaders or sports coaches I have worked with, all of them would tell you they didn’t get to where they are alone. In fact, they are incredibly humble, and will often not take credit for what they have accomplished. They don’t claim to be luckier or able to outsmart others, but they do all possess what I would argue is also one of the key elements to making better opportunities appear. More importantly come to life for you, and others. The one element is their attitude. Not only is it a great attitude, it’s an admirable one.

These leaders and sports coaches also take ownership for when things go wrong. They are not looking for “scapegoats” to blame for what went wrong, and they are highly introspective and reflective about what they could have done better. This is a refreshing way of leading and motivating others. Namely because others are not operating in a state of fear of being blamed, and are intimidated by expressing their opinions and suggestions to support the team they are on. If you are lucky, you are, or have been on one of these teams. If you haven’t been on one yet, it might be time to start considering looking for one like this.

Now, let’s circle back to my initial statement about how do people make opportunities appear and benefit from them doing so? Here are some suggestions to guide you.

  • There is no getting around the fact you might need to have an “attitude adjustment”. If you don’t think you need to have one, I recommend you ask someone you trust how your attitude is. If you can’t handle the truth about what you might hear, it’s likely that you do need an attitude adjustment.
  • Being aware of your surroundings, circumstances and perceiving how you come across to others is critically important. If your level of awareness is “off”, it will make seeing opportunities harder to spot.
  • Having a perfectionist attitude isn’t going to help you in the long run. You are far better off trying and failing than to constantly strive for perfection.
  • Most opportunities are also in what might be referred to as a “grey area”, which is both hard to define, but you won’t see it if your “perfectionist meter” is set too high. Consider dialing it down to have more clarity into the “grey area” or “grey zone”.
  • Walk away. Yes, literally do this, as often when you are too close to any situation, you need to step away to gain a different perspective and angle on how you could better capitalize on your situation. Think of the expression, “you can’t see the forest via the trees.”
  • Are you seeing patterns in data or activities which others are not? This may or may not be something you are skilled at seeing. If you are, and you are not taking advantage of this, when you do, more opportunities will present themselves.

The how portion of capitalizing on opportunities is going to be dependent on your level of risk tolerance, ability to be timely with your opportunity appearing, and having the right support in place. Both mentally and physically, as most opportunities are more similar to a team sport versus an individual one. However, there are certainly exceptions, but the critical point to consider is to allow yourself to be openminded to appreciating you deserve to have lots of opportunities coming your way. In other words, have a mindset of bounty versus scarcity. You’ll be amazed at what can happen in your favor when you think this way.

TAGS: #Leadership #Motivation #Teams #Leader #Sportscoach #Coach #Business #Sports #Seekingopportunity #Opportunity #Howtocapitalizeonopportunities #Opportunities #Sales #Salesteams

Asking for help. Is there a good way to do so?

Yesterday I was having a serious conversation with a person I know. Someone in fact I have known for decades. I could tell by the sound of their voice that someone was wrong, or perhaps that they were struggling with something that didn’t come up initially during our conversation. Sure enough, my instincts were correct, and I asked a few more questions, and the person revealed what was going on.  In fact, there was too much going on, and they were so overwhelmed, they didn’t know what to do. Or, how to ask for help. 

This person’s situation was quite extreme, and from an outside perspective, you would have thought they could have easily been seeking help. They were not. Instead, they were suffering alone, and ironically, were helping everyone else around them. 

Perhaps because this person finds it to be so easy to help others, that they have either neglected being able to help themselves, or they have fallen into a common conundrum. The conundrum is failing to provide self-care. This can often happen, and is sometimes done unconsciously. One of the reasons this occurs is that although it may sound counter intuitive, for some people, it is sometimes easier for them to care for others than it is to care for themselves. 

Another person I know who was admittedly challenged with self-care, would say that he would struggle with being able to metaphorically “put the oxygen mask on first”. Being able to take care of yourself first, appears to be a “no-brainer”, but it isn’t always for everyone. This scenario can be further complicated due to the situation the person finds themselves in (e.g., work, or personal). Although if someone is challenged with being able to ask for help from others, it typically is something which impacts all aspects of their life. 

When I started thinking about whether we are taught how to ask for help, I thought back to a time in my life when I was learning to be a lifeguard. As I was going through my training, there was a great deal of focus on how to simultaneously help the person you were rescuing, while also making sure you would be safe too. This seems obvious, but when you are in a situation when you are rescuing someone, sometimes they or the surrounding circumstances can make it much more difficult to rescue them. 

Having the right tools to help someone is critical. A large part of being able to do so, is knowing what questions to ask the person, with the goal of getting them to open up and share with you what is going on. However, let’s turn the scenario around, and put ourselves in the “shoes” of the person who is in need of help. Everyone has been in this situation, and admittedly, some are better at being able to ask for help than others. The people who have cracked the code on being able to ask for help, are in a much stronger position than others. This is despite the thinking for some people that it is a sign of weakness when you ask for help. I’m not sure where this thinking came from, but it does not serve anyone well to think this way. Especially those who are in leadership positions. 

Both personally and in the workforce if someone doesn’t and should be asking for help, and the situation they are in which needs attention, tends to decline further. Ignoring a situation because someone doesn’t want to ask for help generally does not end well, and I can guarantee most of us have given this option a try before. 

Yes, it can take courage for some people to ask for help. However, asking for help shouldn’t be tied to pride or emotions which conjure negative associations (e.g., appearing weak, exposing something you don’t know how to do, being embarrassed, you don’t deserve the help). Although I realize for many people these are common reasons they do not ask for help, asking for help can get much easier to do, and it applies to all situations. Practice.

Below are some suggestions you can consider if you are the type of person who does not like asking for help. 

·      Asking for help takes practice. So, if you need or think you will be in a situation where you will need help at some point, don’t let your situation get to the point of putting you in an extreme situation before you ask for support. 

·      Think about the factors contributing to why you are uncomfortable with asking for support. Are they rational or reasonable? 

·      Why do you think you have to be able to do everything yourself? No one person is an expert at everything, and no one is perfect. 

·      Is there something you can do to help the person you might need help from? Perhaps you will be more comfortable asking them for their support if you are able to help them in some way?

·      Have you considered that people want to help you or others? Most people find it highly gratifying to help someone. 

·      Will your situation improve if you were to ask for help? 

·      Do you want your situation to improve? It can if you ask for help. 

There isn’t one perfect way to ask for help, and when you need help, I hope you will get to a point of being able to comfortably and confidently ask for it. Remember, people by nature like to help others. Keep this in mind when you are reluctant to ask someone for the help you need. 

TAGS: #Leadership #Business #Workplace #Professional #Personal #Help #HowToAskForHelp 

How to actually get along with others.

Given the enormous division we have been seeing in our countries ability to get along with others recently, I felt compelled to write about this. Getting along with others is not a light subject to address, yet it is one that truly resonates with me.

There are a number of things I am passionate about. One of them is the importance of granting a minimum level of respect to everyone I encounter. In other words, starting from a neutral place with everyone I meet, without judging them prior to interacting with them.

Based on my profession, I meet and have worked with thousands of people. Each time I meet someone I look at it as an opportunity. An opportunity to get to know an interesting person. To learn something from them, and to better understand how they view the world. From my perspective, meeting and getting to know others is similar to opening or being given a gift.

How is it that people become so jaded and reluctant to embrace being able to get along with others? Unfortunately, they are negatively influenced by others in their life to shape how they think from an early age. As someone matures, the circle of people they interact with will further shape and influence how they think. Yes, we all have the ability to be independent thinkers, but it takes more effort to do this. Yet, it is completely worth putting in the work to think this way.

Of course, our life circumstances can also impact the way we perceive and get along with others in our lives. Sprinkle in the concept of one’s mindset, and this too can play a negative or positive role in which way people think about and how they get along with others.

Now factor in the concept of effort, as this too also needs to be considered. For instance whether it is a minimum or maximum amount of effort applied, in terms of attempting to interact well, and get along with half the people we encounter. If the amount of effort is low, chances are that people will struggle with getting along with others. I’m applying the term effort, as an umbrella term for numerous other words. Unfortunately, prejudice is the first one that comes to my mind. However, my opinion about prejudice is that it is based on being highly misinformed, and stubbornly reluctant to accept and honor and equally value other people.

For the sake of being on the same page with our thinking, indulge me in winding back our lives to when we were able to get along with just about everyone. Everyone will likely wind back to a different age, but most will generally be sub five years old. At that time in our lives we were not burdened with investing negative energy into thinking about other people. Imagine if you could roll back to that point in time?

Starting from a place of treating everyone equally, and as if they are one of your friends, is a noble thought. Is it realistic? Perhaps not, but consider what our world would be like if as adults we put more effort and modeled for younger generations how to get along with others?

Personally, I am on a daily quest to model this type of behavior. In fact, I am honored when I am able to meet a new person. Especially when they initially appear to represent an outward perspective, and may appear quite different from me (e.g., they grew up in a different country, speak a different language, are older, younger, etc.).

One of the greatest compliments related to this topic, and that I have received from another person, was that they completely misjudged me based on my appearance. In other words, they were applying their own prejudice to me prior to interacting with me. They also told me that they learned something from this experience. What they shared with me was that they were going to from that point on, do their part to be more open and less judgmental. In other words, they were going to attempt to not thrust their prejudiced thinking on others going forward.

In case you were wondering if there are concepts you can apply to get along better with others, there are. Here are some suggestions to do this.

  • Consider reading, listening to a podcast or watching a video about mindset. More specifically look up the word “open mindedness”.
  • Factor in how you feel when you meet and or interact with someone new. What are some of the first thoughts that cross your mind about this person? Are they negative or positive thoughts?
  • What if you trusted everyone new that you met. Or, perhaps were neutral in your thinking about them when you first met them. How would your interaction with this person change?
  • What value do you place on having more people in your life that are different than you?
  • Think about the characteristics of the people you consider to be your friends. Are you proud of their characteristics? Or, are there aspects of their characteristics which you simply accept, but are not happy about?
  • How would you currently rate your ability to get along well with others? Are you able to objectively rate yourself?
  • Have you ever avoided meeting someone for reasons you would not be comfortable with sharing with others why you feel this way? Think about why you feel this way. Is it reasonable or logical to think this way? 
  • What level of effort do you put into getting along with others? Perhaps you don’t put enough effort in to make it work out to get along well.
  • Are you always pointing the blame on someone else for why you can’t get along? Have you considered maybe you and the way you interact with others is the reason you are challenged with getting along with others.

To do my part, I’ll be focused on being a role model to demonstrate how to get along well with others. I hope many of you will do the same, as we all know our world will be a much better place if we could all simply just get along well with one another.

Tags: #Howtogetalongwithothers #Gettingalong #Leadership #Relationships #Business #Management #Prejudice #teambuilding #leadershipmindset #engagement #success #Teams