(5) Tips on How to Find Your Confidence

How is it that some people seem to exude confidence, while others are on a perpetual journey to find it. If you are one of the people not as confident as you would like to be, or feel like you are faking your confidence most of the time, you are not alone. However, there are things you can do to boost your and maintain confidence.

If you’ve been following my blog articles for any length of time, you can probably guess whether I was blessed with the confidence gene.

As I meet and talk to new people, I am often stunned when the ones who come across as being particularly self-assured often share with me that they wish they were more confident.

This is an indication that it is easier to fake your confidence until it feels real. I’m not advocating being inauthentic, but you have certainly heard the expression fake it until you make it.

Having confidence allows you to pursue things others might not. People who possess confidence come across differently than people who have not yet found and harnessed theirs. Of course, it is possible to be confident about some things and not others. The trick is to work towards being more confident in a number of categories and not only a few. Becoming completely confident can take time.  There is no particular formula to calculate how quickly you can gain your confidence. The good news is that one day you will simply realize you are either almost fully confident, or exponentially more self-assured than you were.

So, how can you become more confident?

  1. Focus on something you like to do. Now think about how it makes you feel. Have people told you that are good at fill-in-the-blank? Hearing you are proficient at something can help to build your confidence.

 

  1. Develop skills in areas you are currently working on, especially if they are skills you enjoy doing. If you do not enjoy applying the skills you are doing to your life or career, I encourage you to rethink why you are doing what you are doing. Of course, there are aspects of every job or life skills we may not enjoy doing, but some of the ones we enjoy doing the least could potentially done by someone else at some point. Where you further develop skills you are currently working on, and gain mastery of them, this will be another way to bolster your confidence.

 

  1. Help others with the skills you have mastered. Doing this will make you feel proud, and in turn, more confident.

 

  1. Ask others who know you well what they think is something you do that showcases your confidence. You might already be exhibiting signs of confidence.

 

  1. Think about the people you admire and what makes them appear confident. Until you get there yourself, you can imitate what they are doing until you have more faith in your own abilities.

There are benefits to being confident. One is you come across as likable. Another, which everyone likes, is that you are more interesting, and potentially more desirable.

Your confidence will inspire others to follow and get to know more about you.  Don’t be surprised if people go out of their way to get to be your friend. Confident people tend to have more friends, more opportunities, and can enjoy an enriched life.

Let’s find or increase your confidence, as the benefits of having more faith and trust in your own abilities, are worth the effort!  Oh, and if you need an extra boost of confidence, just listen to the song ‘I Have Confidence’ from The Sound of Music.  Adjust lyrics to fit your personal situation.

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CMO of Market Me TooMarket Me Too has expertise in bridging teams and providing organizations techniques to accelerate their market growth and revenue numbers, regardless of the industry they are in, or the business stage they are presently at. She is also the author of a newly published business book called Wisdom Whisperer which is available via Amazon.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis.

If you want better results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

 

 

Untapped Potential

A number of things irk me, and one of them is when I see untapped, underutilized or potential in someone or something being dismissed. I recently experienced an entire roomful of players verbally telling one of their teammates how they could see how much potential he had. Whether this person believed or could see what the others were seeing was in question, and unfortunately about a week later, it was clear he did not see what they could see

After hearing about the person essentially throwing away their potential by deciding not to participate on the team anymore, I was really upset that this happened. The fact myself and the rest of the team could see his potential was as obvious to us as the nose on our face, but for some reason, this person did not see or want to leverage what we were seeing. This should not have happened, and although it did, there is still an opportunity to help this person see what they could not see.

One of my abilities is helping to see potential and strengths in others they may not be aware of. In the case of this player, his potential was so obvious to everyone else, it truly amazes me he could not embrace and seize the opportunity to capitalize on his potential. Instead, he chose to dismiss the potential talent he had, and what others admired in him. There are a number of reasons why this happened, but the main thing to concentrate on is how to help someone in this situation.

If you or someone else you know is dismissive or unaware of their potential, I honestly believe it is each of our responsibilities to help this person. I guarantee you at some point someone helped you when you could not see your potential, and I’m also certain it made a tremendously positive impact on your life. Perhaps you are not even aware of this having happened to you? If not, you should take a few minutes to think about when this probably did happen. Why? Because doing this will allow you to appreciate and then see from a different lens how to recognize potential in others.

You do not need to be a manager, parent or coach to see potential in others. You simply have to be willing and open to looking for it.

So, now you might be thinking to yourself, what does this untapped or unrecognized potential look like? It can look like many different things, and some of it is recognized by your gut instinct, and other times it is 100% obvious (e.g., singing, writing, mathematical, drawing, athletic talent). If you are willing to look for it, help others to embrace and take advantage of it, you will be giving them one of the best gifts we can give to another human, recognition for their untapped talent and potential.

When people are recognized for their potential, a funny thing happens. It is as if you are giving them an imaginary key to help them to unlock their potential. By doing this, you are allowing them to see what you see. By showing them and making them aware of their potential, you are helping them to develop the talent they were unaware of.

Imagine if everyone was looking out and helping others to tap into their potential? Everyone has potential, and it is sheerly a matter of other people being proactive and helping them to recognize it. Here are some ideas on how you can more easily spot untapped potential in others, and what to do when you see this:

  • They are naturally better at something than anyone else. Ask them if they are aware of what they are doing comes easily to them?
  • Someone who is empathetic may not be recognized for their gift of being this way. Tell the person who has a high degree of it, how much you appreciate this talent, and ask them how they are using it to help others on a daily basis?
  • Being a good listener is becoming a lost art. When you come across someone who is a strong listener, let them know how much you appreciate their talent, and ask them how they became such a good listener?
  • Seeing acts of kindness should not go unrecognized, and some people are simply more kind than others. When you see someone being kind, let them know you appreciate their act(s) of kindness, especially if they were kind to you or someone else.
  • If you see obvious, or not so obvious potential in someone and can do something about it, let them know you see their potential. Then, go one step further and either help them yourself, or find someone who can do so.

Never let potential go unnoticed or allow it not to be properly channeled. Everyone deserves to have their potential recognized, and given a chance to make the most of the potential they have. Don’t just be a bystander in witnessing potential, get out there and do your part to help others. The potential out there is unlimited, and will produce amazing results and opportunities when it is tapped into.

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CMO of Market Me TooMarket Me Too has expertise in bridging teams and providing organizations techniques to accelerate their market growth and revenue numbers, regardless of the industry they are in, or the business stage they are presently at. She is also the author of a newly published business book called Wisdom Whisperer which is available via Amazon.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis.

If you want better results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

Stuck? How to get you, your team or company in motion.

There are numerous reasons and ways to what I refer to as getting stuck, either personally or professionally, and no one is immune from having this happen to them. If you are immune, give me a call, because you are a true “unicorn”.

Generally, when a person, team or company is stuck, there are Drano-like techniques you can apply to resolve this dilemma. However, often it is difficult to come up with the getting unstuck solutions because you are too close to the issue or issues which caused it. So, what do you do?

Obviously panicking about your being stuck situation is not going to solve anything, nor will ignoring it. Although many people and companies try out this approach and what happens? The unstuck situation does not get resolved, can in fact get worse, and the negative domino effect starts to kick in.

So, depending on who is stuck, the first thing to do is to commit to addressing and resolving the matter. Doing this will take immediate pressure off of the feeling of being stuck, and if a team or company is stuck, you will need to communicate with them about the fact you are addressing the matter.

By the way, “you” is either the head of the team or company who is stuck.

Thinking about and discussing how you got stuck is the second step to figuring out a solution, and this should be done in an organized way. One of my favorite ways to tackling this is to whiteboard or back-of-the-napkin how you ended up being “stuck”. I also recommend going through this exercise physically away from where the clog is. If you are the one who is stuck, I also recommend going to a neutral and also inspiring place to think about developing an unstuck solution.

Here is a (10) step approach to getting unstuck. You might only need to leverage a few of them, but there is the possibility you will need to apply all of the steps if your team or company is significantly stuck. I’ll let you be the judge on what number the stuck meter would register.

  1. Write down what makes you feel like you, your team or company are stuck (e.g., lack of energy or motivation, high attrition rates, culture issues, revenue growth is stagnant or under performing).
  2. Appoint a person as the “Chief of Getting Unstuck”.
  3. Limit the amount of people to the “Unstuck” team to less than six people, ideally fewer if possible and depending on the complexity of the matter.
  4. Agree not to play the blame game, and commit to resolving the matter.
  5. Come up with a timeline for how long it will take to resolve and get unstuck.
  6. Outline the reasons which contributed to how you, your team or company became stuck.
  7. Begin brainstorming on resolutions for each of the reasons which contributed to becoming stuck.
  8. Determine if the reasons you became stuck have the possibility of reoccurring. If they might, part of your plan is going to need to address how to reduce or eliminate this from happening.
  9. Share and widely communicate your “getting unstuck plan”, and ask for feedback. Make it clear that feedback offered should only be offered if it is constructive. Have people feel like they are a part of the solution, and not contributing to the problem.
  10. Once you have your getting unstuck solutions which are actionable and agreed upon, commit to applying them with the goal of becoming unstuck.

Getting stuck did not occur overnight. So, coming up with a solution or methods to resolve your situation is going to take some time, and will be different for each scenario. By admitting to and then committing to resolving your matter of being stuck, you will be taking the most important steps towards resolving it. Coming up with your solutions might be easier than you think they will be, and they should also be enormously satisfying when you do.

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder/CEO and Chief Performance Strategist at Market Me TooMarket Me Too has expertise in bridging teams and providing organizations techniques to accelerate their market growth and revenue numbers, regardless of the industry they are in, or the business stage they are presently at.

We also work with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. If you want results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

 

Millennials – Managing, Motivating & Retaining Them

Not everyone would agree, but I love when things change. I especially am excited about change particularly when the changes being applied optimize and improve what they are being applied towards. Having worked with thousands of people during my career, the most exciting generation of people I have encountered are the millennials. Why? Because they are so open to embracing change.

Managing people is probably one of the most challenging tasks to take on, especially to be able to manage them well and unselfishly. Yes, unselfishly, because in order to be a superb manager, you need to put the interests of those you are managing ahead of your own. When you do this, those who you are managing will at first potentially not notice, and when they do, they will then be surprised you are doing this, as this is not a management technique applied or embraced by all managers.

If you think of managing people from the perspective of acting as a coach or mentor, it allows you to mentally shift your thinking and begin to strategically adopt management methods which put your staff needs ahead of your own. When you put others needs ahead of yours, empower them to stretch beyond their comfort level, yet provide them with a safe zone in case of failure, people will respond and perform at a new level you might not imagine them to do so. This management concept works extremely well with millennials, as they are so open to trying new things, and actually crave doing so.

One of the best ways to motivate millennials is to ask them for their opinion, and how they might go about mapping out how to accomplish their role with limited direction from their manager. When you provide a millennial with freedom to in essence design their path forward, they will be more motivated in their role, as they feel they have a heightened sense of controlling the direction they are able to head towards. What you also might be surprised by, is that they will also be more willing to collaborate with the management team and their team peers because they do not feel the pressure of traditional methods of management constraint.

There are numerous books that have been written about motivating people in the workplace, but most of these books are based on motivational techniques which have been around for decades. Although many of the motivational techniques are still relevant, many of them will not be effective when they are applied to the millennial generation. I know this, because I have also managed, motivated and retained hundreds of people from this generation.

Unfortunately, this generation has gotten a potentially undeserved reputation for being selfish. I think this generation is misunderstood, and has been too easily labeled as being selfish due to management techniques not working on them. This is why management techniques to apply to the millennial generation are in need to being revised and adopted. The millennial generation is motivated by things which need to be factored into helping them to be successful. They care about our environment, eating healthy, taking care of themselves and doing what is best for society more than they are given credit for. When employers and management techniques are factored into account for these type of motivational examples, a true paradigm shift will occur.

The days of employees working at a company for more than 5-10 years is becoming a thing of the past, as most employees are averaging lengths of employment sub these numbers. Due to a highly fluid flow of millennial employees changing jobs so often, this puts enormous pressure on companies to try to retain them, even for 2-3 additional years. One of the largest expenses a company has is recruiting and on-boarding new employees. If they have to continuously do this, the strain on having to fund this company expense can have a severely negative impact on their bottom line. So, how do companies address this challenge?

One of the ways companies who have low millennial retention rates can turn this scenario around, is to create a culture that is appealing to them (e.g., offering them clear or varied career paths to consider, opportunities to engage with the local community during work hours, helping them to understand their innate strengths via specialized coaching, access to internal mentors on a regular basis and greater flexibility with when and where they work). Ironically, the things that appeal to the millennials, can be equally appealing to the rest of the employees, with some modifications to account for their culture and career satisfaction too.

Embracing instead of chafing against the millennial generation and the way they are managed, motivated and retained must be factored into a company’s structure of how to run a modern company. When this occurs, a company becomes far more appealing to work at, and in turn competitive in the industry they are competing in, especially since a significant amount of their employees are from or will be from the millennial generation.

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CMO of Market Me TooMarket Me Too has expertise in bridging teams and providing organizations techniques to accelerate their market growth and revenue numbers, regardless of the industry they are in, or the business stage they are presently at.

We also work with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. If you want results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.