(5) Tips on How to Find Your Confidence

How is it that some people seem to exude confidence, while others are on a perpetual journey to find it. If you are one of the people not as confident as you would like to be, or feel like you are faking your confidence most of the time, you are not alone. However, there are things you can do to boost your and maintain confidence.

If you’ve been following my blog articles for any length of time, you can probably guess whether I was blessed with the confidence gene.

As I meet and talk to new people, I am often stunned when the ones who come across as being particularly self-assured often share with me that they wish they were more confident.

This is an indication that it is easier to fake your confidence until it feels real. I’m not advocating being inauthentic, but you have certainly heard the expression fake it until you make it.

Having confidence allows you to pursue things others might not. People who possess confidence come across differently than people who have not yet found and harnessed theirs. Of course, it is possible to be confident about some things and not others. The trick is to work towards being more confident in a number of categories and not only a few. Becoming completely confident can take time.  There is no particular formula to calculate how quickly you can gain your confidence. The good news is that one day you will simply realize you are either almost fully confident, or exponentially more self-assured than you were.

So, how can you become more confident?

  1. Focus on something you like to do. Now think about how it makes you feel. Have people told you that are good at fill-in-the-blank? Hearing you are proficient at something can help to build your confidence.

 

  1. Develop skills in areas you are currently working on, especially if they are skills you enjoy doing. If you do not enjoy applying the skills you are doing to your life or career, I encourage you to rethink why you are doing what you are doing. Of course, there are aspects of every job or life skills we may not enjoy doing, but some of the ones we enjoy doing the least could potentially done by someone else at some point. Where you further develop skills you are currently working on, and gain mastery of them, this will be another way to bolster your confidence.

 

  1. Help others with the skills you have mastered. Doing this will make you feel proud, and in turn, more confident.

 

  1. Ask others who know you well what they think is something you do that showcases your confidence. You might already be exhibiting signs of confidence.

 

  1. Think about the people you admire and what makes them appear confident. Until you get there yourself, you can imitate what they are doing until you have more faith in your own abilities.

There are benefits to being confident. One is you come across as likable. Another, which everyone likes, is that you are more interesting, and potentially more desirable.

Your confidence will inspire others to follow and get to know more about you.  Don’t be surprised if people go out of their way to get to be your friend. Confident people tend to have more friends, more opportunities, and can enjoy an enriched life.

Let’s find or increase your confidence, as the benefits of having more faith and trust in your own abilities, are worth the effort!  Oh, and if you need an extra boost of confidence, just listen to the song ‘I Have Confidence’ from The Sound of Music.  Adjust lyrics to fit your personal situation.

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CMO of Market Me TooMarket Me Too has expertise in bridging teams and providing organizations techniques to accelerate their market growth and revenue numbers, regardless of the industry they are in, or the business stage they are presently at. She is also the author of a newly published business book called Wisdom Whisperer which is available via Amazon.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis.

If you want better results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

 

 

Untapped Potential

A number of things irk me, and one of them is when I see untapped, underutilized or potential in someone or something being dismissed. I recently experienced an entire roomful of players verbally telling one of their teammates how they could see how much potential he had. Whether this person believed or could see what the others were seeing was in question, and unfortunately about a week later, it was clear he did not see what they could see

After hearing about the person essentially throwing away their potential by deciding not to participate on the team anymore, I was really upset that this happened. The fact myself and the rest of the team could see his potential was as obvious to us as the nose on our face, but for some reason, this person did not see or want to leverage what we were seeing. This should not have happened, and although it did, there is still an opportunity to help this person see what they could not see.

One of my abilities is helping to see potential and strengths in others they may not be aware of. In the case of this player, his potential was so obvious to everyone else, it truly amazes me he could not embrace and seize the opportunity to capitalize on his potential. Instead, he chose to dismiss the potential talent he had, and what others admired in him. There are a number of reasons why this happened, but the main thing to concentrate on is how to help someone in this situation.

If you or someone else you know is dismissive or unaware of their potential, I honestly believe it is each of our responsibilities to help this person. I guarantee you at some point someone helped you when you could not see your potential, and I’m also certain it made a tremendously positive impact on your life. Perhaps you are not even aware of this having happened to you? If not, you should take a few minutes to think about when this probably did happen. Why? Because doing this will allow you to appreciate and then see from a different lens how to recognize potential in others.

You do not need to be a manager, parent or coach to see potential in others. You simply have to be willing and open to looking for it.

So, now you might be thinking to yourself, what does this untapped or unrecognized potential look like? It can look like many different things, and some of it is recognized by your gut instinct, and other times it is 100% obvious (e.g., singing, writing, mathematical, drawing, athletic talent). If you are willing to look for it, help others to embrace and take advantage of it, you will be giving them one of the best gifts we can give to another human, recognition for their untapped talent and potential.

When people are recognized for their potential, a funny thing happens. It is as if you are giving them an imaginary key to help them to unlock their potential. By doing this, you are allowing them to see what you see. By showing them and making them aware of their potential, you are helping them to develop the talent they were unaware of.

Imagine if everyone was looking out and helping others to tap into their potential? Everyone has potential, and it is sheerly a matter of other people being proactive and helping them to recognize it. Here are some ideas on how you can more easily spot untapped potential in others, and what to do when you see this:

  • They are naturally better at something than anyone else. Ask them if they are aware of what they are doing comes easily to them?
  • Someone who is empathetic may not be recognized for their gift of being this way. Tell the person who has a high degree of it, how much you appreciate this talent, and ask them how they are using it to help others on a daily basis?
  • Being a good listener is becoming a lost art. When you come across someone who is a strong listener, let them know how much you appreciate their talent, and ask them how they became such a good listener?
  • Seeing acts of kindness should not go unrecognized, and some people are simply more kind than others. When you see someone being kind, let them know you appreciate their act(s) of kindness, especially if they were kind to you or someone else.
  • If you see obvious, or not so obvious potential in someone and can do something about it, let them know you see their potential. Then, go one step further and either help them yourself, or find someone who can do so.

Never let potential go unnoticed or allow it not to be properly channeled. Everyone deserves to have their potential recognized, and given a chance to make the most of the potential they have. Don’t just be a bystander in witnessing potential, get out there and do your part to help others. The potential out there is unlimited, and will produce amazing results and opportunities when it is tapped into.

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CMO of Market Me TooMarket Me Too has expertise in bridging teams and providing organizations techniques to accelerate their market growth and revenue numbers, regardless of the industry they are in, or the business stage they are presently at. She is also the author of a newly published business book called Wisdom Whisperer which is available via Amazon.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis.

If you want better results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

Finding Motivational Energy

Generally, when you need to be motivated to do something, it can seem like a daunting task to accomplish. Why? Because it is far easier to procrastinate than it is to be motivated. Does this sound familiar and something you can relate to? If so, you are not alone.

The good news is you can quickly get past the procrastination stage you often get stuck in. You can also do this by applying some of the motivational techniques I regularly apply, and share with others.

An example of applying motivational energy comes from a recent experience I had working with a sports team. The team was coming off an emotional two game loss, breaking their five-game winning streak. Half way through their next game, and with extremely low field player team energy, and what looked like was going to be a third consecutive loss, I talked to the team at halftime.

What I talked to them about was their attitude and the negative mental energy I could literally feel being emitted from them. I asked them the rhetorical question – “Do you want to lose this game, or do you think you have what it takes motivationally to win this game?” I told them I truly believed they had what it took to win the game. I said this with the fact they were down by five goals, and a strong likelihood the other team thought they had an easy second half win ahead of them.

When the team took the field at the beginning of the second half of the game, I told the bench players they were going to have to do something they might not have done before. What I told them is that they were going to need to transfer their positive physical and mental motivational energy to their teammates on the field in order to win the game. As you might imagine, after having said this I got some interesting looks. However, I also told them at this point of the game, they had nothing to lose by trying this, except possibly losing their third straight game.

As soon as the bench started to amp up their energy and cheer on their field teammates, you could feel an almost sudden shift in the game momentum. Literally within minutes of the bench transferring their positive energy to their teammates, the team began scoring and playing like the winning team I knew they could be. They were also applying what I will refer to as their ‘human strength roles’ on the team, and each of them knew what this meant. However, this was the first time they were truly applying this concept, even though we had been talking about the power of their “human team role” for weeks.

At the end of the third quarter, and coming off of a five-goal deficit, the team exploded with delivering double the amount of goals they had in the first half. They also ended up winning the game with a comfortable four-point lead. The other team was completely shut down. They were also stunned by the new momentum and motivational energy provided by the bench members. What made the difference in the second half of the game, was the fact the bench team members were able to successfully transfer their motivational energy to the field players, who really needed it.

This same concept of transferring the energy you put into procrastinating can be thought of like a mental on/off switch. You will literally need to give yourself a pep talk to do this, or perhaps ask someone else to do this for you. However, when you do this, you can literally shift your mindset away from not having motivational energy, to finding even a small spark which will ignite the rest of your motivation.

By committing to focusing your mind, energy and attention to what you want to accomplish, anything is possible. Even when it appears all of the odds are stacked against you. This same concept can be applied at work, or everyday life scenarios. I guarantee if you sincerely try doing what I have outlined, you will see far different and better results than you thought were possible. If you do not believe me, just ask Coach Wright, or any of the 27 young men on my sports team, or any sales person who has ever worked with me before. Happy “belated” Mother’s Day.

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Strategist and CMO of Market Me TooMarket Me Too has expertise in bridging marketing and sales teams and providing organizations techniques to accelerate their market growth and revenue numbers, regardless of the industry they are in, or the business stage they are presently at. We also work with individuals from students to executives and business and sports teams to coach them to learn how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com.

This article is dedicated to Coach Sean Wright, Coach Mike Marshall, Coach Chris Harrington, Coach Ken Boyer and the entire Chelmsford, Massachusetts High School Boys Varsity Lacrosse Team.

Persistence – A Business Super Power

Being persistent can produce amazing results, but it also takes dedication and patience. From my perspective, this is one of the greatest traits a business person can possess.

Some professions require greater amounts of persistence to obtain the experience or education to reach the top level in their field

Most people generally feel satisfied when they reach their goal.

What they all have in common is their internal drive or persistence.

Is being persistent an inherent trait, or can it be learned, perhaps by modeling the behavior of others?

Of course, there are varying degrees of persistence, but the most common level is one that allows a person to remain hyper focused on reaching their goal.

So how does one go about staying focused?

Some folks who have trouble getting focused rely on medication for help.

Others have used meditation, yoga, cardio workouts, or even diets that include nutritious food and elimination of sugar and highly-processed foods.

Whichever method works to help become more focused and then, eventually, more persistent is up to the individual.

The key to being persistent is also to surround yourself with people who can and will support you in the quest to reach your goals. Negative Nellies need not apply.

Identifying positive, can-do, people may be a challenge for some.  The easiest way to find optimists is to do some exploratory work.  Here are a few to get you started:

  • Would you describe yourself as a positive person? NOTE: This is to determine if they are capable of being supportive. If they are of the negative persuasion, chances are they will see all glasses as half full. Time to keep searching.

 

  • What helps you to focus and be persistent?

 

  • How did you pace yourself when you had a long journey ahead to reach your goal? Could you remain persistent for a sustained period of time?  What were your tricks?

 

  • Do you know anyone who has already achieved the goal(s) I am determined to reach?

 

  • Would you be willing to help/guide/support me during a certain identified time period?

For some folks, like me, it’s helpful to create a vision of the goal – one to keep in mind throughout the quest.

I have been writing professionally for years for technology-oriented companies, as well as numerous other firms in a variety of industries.  When I found out one of my articles was going to be published in Money Magazine, I recognized it as an acknowledgement by a publication I respected. One that reciprocated their respect for my business knowledge. I did not have a particular topic in mind when I started writing business articles, but instead envisioned reaching an audience that could relate to what I had to share.

Reaching this level of professional acknowledgement has taken me years. I had been persistently pursuing this goal for about a year. Prior to setting the goal to have my writing appear in a professional business publication, my dream was just that.  But as the saying goes, a dream without a goal is just a wish.

Thanks to my persistence, I have earned the recognition that comes after working for years in what could be referred to as the professional trenches. The fact my article debuted on Halloween was a real treat!

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Strategist and CMO of Market Me TooMarket Me Too has expertise in bridging marketing and sales teams and providing organizations techniques to accelerate their market growth and revenue numbers, regardless of the industry they are in, or the business stage they are presently at. We also work with individuals from students to executives and business and sports teams to coach them to learn how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com.

Announcement: My first business book called Wisdom Whisperer, is now available via Amazon. Pick one up, or get one for your friend or colleague. I’ve been told this is a great gift for upcoming college graduates, but it is also highly suitable for people in all stages of their life and careers, as the book format is like a buffet, and you can choose to read or not read the topics which suit you best. In support of gift giving, for a limited time, Wisdom Whisperer’s price has been reduced to $16.99.

Believe in yourself. It will all work out.

Have you ever found yourself in the middle of a situation that does not appear to be going in the right direction and thought, how is this possibly going to work out?

If you have not, I don’t believe you, as this happens to everyone. Or, perhaps you have had more than your fair share of luck, or have been living in a bubble. Either way, a majority of humans have had both life and business scenarios with which to contend.  Those that don’t seem headed towards a favorable conclusion.  But then, lo and behold, the outcome is far better than expected.

So many people spend an enormous amount of energy worrying about factors they cannot control, or consequences which are not likely to happen.

I know a number of people who worry obsessively about everything.

I have a hard time relating to this, as I try my best to do the opposite, and guess what?

Things usually turn out better than I anticipated.  Sometimes fabulously so.

In the meantime, I do not expend any energy concerning myself with factors I cannot control or that will not realistically happen. For example, I’m pretty sure nobody will actually faint from nerves in the middle of a presentation.  Okay, maybe. 😉

Of course, there is that self-fulfilling prophecy thing, but I prefer not to succumb to the negative, and think about what good things could happen instead.

When you adopt the approach of spending less time worrying about negative consequences, you free yourself to apply all of your energy to much more productive work or activities. This is a far more desirable approach.

Once you begin to implement this concept, you will start to see more positive outcomes from this paradigm mind shift.

Visualization is a technique that can be overlapped and practiced along with more optimistic thinking. Using visualization simply requires you to close your eyes and imagine what you are worried about having a positive outcome. Many athletes and executive level business people leverage this, and agree it is enormously helpful. When you are able to envision the outcome of what you are attempting to do before it happens, is a way of essentially practicing how to have success or the outcome you desired.

There is another concept called The Secret, and without getting too deep into this method of thinking, I am a firm believer this concept also can contribute to having a desired outcome from any situation you can imagine. I know this because I have practiced it and am always amazed by the results. I encourage you to look further into this concept, because it essentially taps into leveraging powers you were not aware of, but that you have to work with.

If you do not believe me, give it a try, as you having nothing to lose and so much more to gain. I have coached people on how to leverage The Secret concept, and 100% of the time the outcome has surpassed what the person was expecting. The trick is to allow your mind to be open to the concept, and then wrapping your brain around letting go of any worries you have, or anxiety to allow the power of this concept to work for you.

Imagine an hour, half a day, or weeks of not worrying about whether fill-in-the-blank is going to work out. How would your life be different if you thought this way?  What if you had more energy to invest towards improving your life, career, or anything you desire to have more positive outcomes from? I know you can embrace at least one or several of these concepts. Trust and believe that in the end, everything will work out the way it is supposed to.  Even being fired could lead to a whole new, better-paying, more satisfying career.  It could happen!

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Strategist and CMO of Market Me TooMarket Me Too has expertise in bridging marketing and sales teams and providing organizations techniques to accelerate their market growth and revenue numbers, regardless of the industry they are in, or the business stage they are presently at. We also work with individuals from students to executives and business and sports teams to coach them to learn how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com.

Announcement: My first business book called Wisdom Whisperer, is now available via Amazon. Pick one up, or get one for your friend or colleague. I’ve been told this is a great gift for upcoming college graduates, but it is also highly suitable for people in all stages of their life and careers, as the book format is like a buffet, and you can choose to read or not read the topics which suit you best.