Category: #Confidence

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Uncertainty and decision making

Let’s face it. Most people when asked if they like uncertainty will tell you they don’t. If asked to choose between the two, they will more often favor decision making. However, both of these topics can make people uncomfortable, yet they don’t have to. So, who are the people comfortable with both, and were they always this way? Can you be one of them?

Learning how to embrace uncertainty versus fearing or dreading it isn’t something which comes naturally. When we think of the concept of uncertainty, we often wish that we could definitively know what the outcome will be. When we can anticipate or predict the way anything will turn out, it also gives us a sense of comfort, or perceivably more control. Although some people don’t mind being surprised by an outcome. Especially outcomes that have a higher potential to be a positive one.

Although I am not an actuary, a significant percentage of outcomes mathematically will have roughly a fifty percent chance of a favorable outcome. So, why do we as humans tend to ere on focusing on the potential for a negative outcome? One of the reasons we do this is to protect ourselves from disappointment. If we expect the outcome not to be in our favor and it is, then we are happier about the results. Another reason we think negatively, is that we are not confident enough in our abilities, planning or circumstances to warrant the outcome we would prefer.

What if you could alter the way you think and embrace uncertainty? Part of being able to do this will involve re-training the way you think. This isn’t easy to do. Yet it can be incredibly gratifying to achieve being able to do this, even occasionally. To begin down the path of embracing uncertainty, one of the factors I noted above was to become more confident in your thinking this is something you can do. Let’s start there. Can you do this? Yes, this is a rhetorical question, as I know you can.

As you already know, our subconscious mind has a great deal of power. When we tap into it, and we suggest to ourselves that the outcome of any scenario will be favorable, we begin laying down the path for this to happen. Have you ever tried doing this? I’m sure you have, but potentially not all of the time. Consider a time you didn’t do this, and how much energy you put into thinking the outcome of your situation wasn’t going to be in your favor. Yet, it was. What if instead you could have channeled that wasted negative energy into something else? For one thing, you would have been less anxious, more fun to be around, and likely have had more energy to appreciate the positive outcome.

Let’s switch gears and focus on decision making as something you enjoy doing, and do well. For those reading this who feel they have mastered the art of decision making, consider how you could or would teach others how to do this. If you are in the category of needing to learn how to make better decisions, I have some suggestions on how you can go about doing this.

  • I recently met a woman who uses a method of visually thinking through her decisions. What she does is to draw a square box. In that box is the topic related to her decision. Around the box she places other boxes that have words or phrases that either support or don’t support her topic. This is similar to a pro and con list, but it is using a different visual representation to help you think through your situation.
  • Now would be a good time to consider putting together either an informal or formal board of advisors. It doesn’t have to be a big group, and it should be people who you know, and can rely upon to give you input from an objective position. Not necessarily what you want to hear, but a more neutral or alternative way of thinking about the outcome of your decision.
  • Depending on the type of decision you are making, is it possible to do research, or more research on helping you to determine an outcome? Perhaps a positive one?
  • Part of becoming a decision maker and mastering this concept, means you will become more comfortable with relying upon your gut instinct. Start slowly if you are uncomfortable with doing this, but think about what your first thought was. Then think about whether it is based on fear, or has merit for being a good decision.
  • When you vacillate on your decisions, you typically do this due to lack of confidence in your ability to decide. You will know you have mastered the art of decision making, when you stop vacillating on your decisions.

Yes, life is full of uncertainty, and we would be hard pressed to live a day without having to make any decisions. So, given the reality of this, the best course of action for ourselves is to embrace uncertainty and decision making, and to become pros at both of them. Let’s get you started today!

Tags: #Business #DecisionMaking #Uncertainty #EmbracingChange #Marketing #Sales #Leadership #MakingDecisions

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How to Amp-up Your Swagger

 

By Kathleen E. Murphy

Swagger. What actually is it, and how do you get some, or more? Now consider those who have it (e.g., Mick Jagger,  Dwayne Johnson AKA The Rock, Mark Wahlberg, Beyoncé) certainly seem to be having more fun, or perceivably more outward success than others. Perhaps it is all an illusion, or only perceived by some and not others? In looking up the definition of this word in the on-line version of the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, as a transitive verb they define this word as “to conduct oneself in an arrogant or superciliously pompous manner; especially:  to walk with an air of overbearing self-confidence”. My take on the definition of this word is a bit different, as over the years I have heard it utilized more as an adjective to define someone who exudes confidence and has an illusion about them which sets them apart from others who may be classified as ordinary.

Assuming it is possible to obtain more swagger, how does one go about achieving this? Perhaps you could start out with your attire. Consider the fact celebrities often rely upon professional stylists to select their attire for them. They do this for numerous reasons, but namely to make sure they are presenting their image of who they want the public to see them as….perhaps as being more stylish than if they were to select their own attire. The psychology behind fashion and how and why people choose their clothing is a topic which could be explored on its own, but think of the last time you bought and then wore a new item. Did you feel different or better, or more attractive wearing this item? Did you feel more confident, or more willing to talk to people you might not otherwise talk to if you had been wearing one of the items you have had in your closet for a while?

Hairstyles can come into play for both sexes and amp-up one’s swagger, providing it’s the right cut, and color (Hint: some of the extreme hair colors might not be adding to your swagger, but in fact detracting from it). Most people notice when others get their hair styled, and typically will comment in a positive way, although not always. Having the right hairstyle can make you look younger, older or more fashionable. I don’t know about you, but whenever I get my haircut and styled, I can never achieve the same look the stylist does, that’s why we go to them in the first place. I consider myself hair challenged from a styling perspective, and I am going out on a limb by assuming most people place themselves in this category.

Becoming proficient at something can contribute to increasing your confidence and swagger too. It does not matter what it is you are good at, I simply encourage you to do more of it if you find you are deriving a positive result (e.g., you are skilled at making gourmet meals, you help others who need assistance in their life, you can draw realistic images of anything, you have mastered the art of throwing amazing parties which everyone wants to be invited to). As I have noted in my blog titled “Articulating Your Value Proposition. Yes, You Have One”, everyone is good at one thing, some people are good at many things. If you do not know what you are good at, ask your friends and family to help you sort this out, or as I often recommend, check out the book Strengths Finders 2.0 by Tom Rath and take the on-line survey which will tell you what your top five strengths are. Mine are Positivity, Strategic, Arranger, Individualization and Woo. There are 34 possible strengths, and it is really fun to find out what yours are.

Add more swagger to your life and see if people take notice, or if you feel differently in a positive manner by focusing on doing things which contribute to setting you apart from others. In my opinion, and I tell this to my kids all the time, being ordinary is not an option when you can strive to be extraordinary and have a bit more swagger in your life each day.

Kathleen E. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Strategist and CMO of Market Me Too. Market Me Too has expertise in bridging marketing and sales teams and providing organizations techniques to accelerate their market growth, regardless of the industry they are in, or the business stage they are presently at. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com.

 

 

 

 

 

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Become More Confident

 

By Kathleen E. Murphy

Where does confidence come from? Are some people born with more than others, or is it a skill or strength you develop over time? I am sure you have encountered people who seem to have a level of confidence way beyond their chronological age. Still there are others who are at a point in their life and career where they should have a high degree of confidence, yet are severely lacking it, and for no apparent reason. If desired, can you build confidence and maintain it? Where does one begin to do this?

There are numerous ways to increase your self-confidence, and here’s a link I found which lists (25) actions to boost your self-confidence – and ways to do so, all of which are completely easy to achieve, as I read through all of them and mentally ticked off the box to determine if they were achievable. They are, and I know you will feel the same. In case you think only non-celebrities suffer from lack of self-confidence, I did some research and found there have been numerous people documented in history who seemingly have reached the pinnacle of their careers or talent, and who yet are what I will call plagued with lack of confidence.

Examples of well-known people who suffer from lack of confidence are singer/songwriter Mariah Carey, singer/songwriter/actor David Bowie (1/8/47-1/10/16), tennis superstar Serena Williams and Academy, Golden Globe and Grammy Award winning actress Kate Winslet. Each of these celebrities have documented histories of battling with low self-esteem, or what I would classify as low self-confidence. How is it possible for these well-known “super stars” in their respective fields to not have over the top levels of confidence? Part of the reason has to do with the negative narrative they have running in their minds, and which has them perceive themselves far differently than the outside world does. Another contributing factor to low or lack of self-confidence is not believing in yourself, even though there is vast evidence to the contrary that you should be able to do so.

Building self-confidence is not something you can do overnight, but is in fact something you can work on every day. The methods to building self-confidence need to be practiced daily, and yes, you will have days when your confidence is lower or higher. The goal is to try to maintain a balance in your level of self-confidence, and this can be done with some of the items listed on the 25 actions to boosting your self-confidence. Another quick way to increase your self-confidence is to stand up and in front of a mirror if one if available, and put your hands on your hips and pose like superman or superwoman. Now, saying out loud, tell yourself “I’ve got this” (5-6) times until you feel a positive change in your demeanor.  You will be amazed at how such a simple action can make you feel more confident than simply a few minutes prior to doing so. I know this for a fact, because I have leveraged this technique numerous times in my life. Give it a try.

This blog is dedicated to our daughter, Bronwyn Shinnick, as she is one of the most confident people I know. She also inspires me with her drive to succeed and her magnificent level of focus and confidence every day.

 

Kathleen E. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Strategist and CMO of Market Me Too. Market Me Too has expertise in bridging marketing and sales teams and providing organizations techniques to accelerate their market growth, regardless of the industry they are in, or the business stage they are presently at. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com.