Are you “that guy/girl” in the office?

By Kathleen E. Murphy

Regardless of how many years you have been working, undoubtedly you have encountered both spectrums of people you enjoy working with, and those who you would rather hit the “eject” button on… if there was one. Fortunately, most people fall into the mid-range of being good to work with, but what if you are one of the “complicated/messy” people everyone dreads working with, or if you are trying to avoid hiring someone like this?

Most people do their best to avoid bringing drama into the workplace, but some people either do not realize they are doing this, or simply can’t help themselves. Sometimes it might be a phase the person is going through which makes it seem like every day is filled with unnecessary drama being brought by them into the workplace. Generally, if you take the time to ask them if they are OK, and if they realize their outside life it impacting their work, they are often not aware of this. When you point this out to them, they will either be embarrassed or grateful for the fact you are acknowledging their outside world having a negative impact on their professional environment. Asking them if there is anything you can do to help them is the right thing to do, even if you do not think you can fully support them. However, having your emotional support will sometimes be enough and exactly what they need.

Even if you are not in a hiring capacity, chances are you would want to figure out how to deal with someone who is “complicated”. Better yet, you probably want to make your working experience far more gratifying, especially if you are dealing with “complicated” people. The best approach when dealing with these type of people is to ask them a few questions. Here is what I recommend:

  • How would you rate your daily interaction satisfaction rate with your colleagues on a scale of (1-5), 5 being the highest?
  • What is the best part of your day, and coffee breaks, lunch and leaving the office can’t be one of your answers.
  • If money did not matter, what would be your ideal job?
  • Who do you admire professionally, and why?

The answers to these questions will allow you to have an open dialogue with the person about whether they are happy. If they are clearly not happy, encouraging them to think about what they need to do to make working with the people they are working with more enjoyable is a good place to start. If you do not manage the person you are having the conversation with, being empathetic to their situation could be the catalyst to turn their “complicated/messy” attitude around. However, if you do manage the person who is having difficultly working with either one or more people on the team, encourage them to find ways that can make the work encounters they are having less drama filled or less combative. If they are not aware of their behavior, pointing this out to them, or what I call “showing them the mirror of how they are perceived by others”, has had a dramatic impact on people numerous times I have had this conversation.

If you are in a hiring position and are building your “dream team”, here are some questions you can ask to make sure you seek and find the people who you will not regret hiring.

Questions to ask to avoid hiring “that” person, or answering to find out if you are “that” person:

  • How important are celebrating your colleague’s birthdays to you on a scale of (1-5), 5 being the highest rating.
  • Tell me about your most recent social service experience in helping others. When was it, and what was the best part of the experience?
  • What kinds of teams were you on growing up? This can include being in a band, on the debate team, in a choir or the drama club and not just sports teams. NOTE: If they were not on any teams, this might indicate they have limited experience with collaborative experiences.
  • What is an example of an experience you are most proud of accomplishing?
  • Tell me about things that motivate you to be kind to others.
  • Have you ever had a service job (e.g., bartending, waiting tables, camp counselor)? NOTE: I have generally only hired people who say “yes” to this question, as it demonstrates they know how to serve the needs of others first, and interact well with people.
  • What is one or a couple of things you are passionate about? NOTE: They do not have to be work related.
  • On a scale of 1-5, how important is it for people to get along? Five is the highest rating.
  • When you walk into a room, how would others know you have arrived?

Since most people will be working for a large majority of their lives, it is imperative to have strategies in place for finding the right people and companies to work with and for. Life is too short to work with too many of “that person”. Do you agree?

Kathleen E. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Strategist and CMO of Market Me TooMarket Me Too has expertise in bridging marketing and sales teams and providing organizations techniques to accelerate their market growth, regardless of the industry they are in, or the business stage they are presently at. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com.

 

 

 

Karma and kindness. What’s your impact on others?

By Kathleen E. Murphy

With all the sad news overwhelming us this past month, I started thinking about what could I or others do to help to offset all the “negative” things and vibes happening in our world. One thing I saw which was posted on-line was a list of kind things someone could do to inspire more acts of kindness. Most of these acts could be applied in a professional environment, but were namely intended to occur outside of a business environment.

Last week I attended a marketing technology event in Boston and American Author, Entrepreneur and fellow Marketer Seth Godin was the afternoon keynote speaker. One of the questions which came up at the end of his speech, was what can we do to offset all the negative news? Seth indicated that although the news is real, and is certainly sensational, he brought up a point which struck home and related to television journalist Wolf Blitzer. He asked the audience to think about why Wolf is always in the “situation room”? If he is always in a “situation room”, then there must be a situation going on, and of course this will then automatically sensationalize the topic related to the “situation room”. In other words, by establishing Wolf is in a “situation room”, naturally evokes a negative connotation. This then feeds into what the media is often criticized for which is to promote topics which are geared only for ratings purposes. This is one reason I prefer to obtain my news from sources which are more “neutral”, and actually focused on not putting their own spin, usually a negative one on the topic.

Now, back to what can we do in a professional environment to begin a chain reaction of inciting more acts of kindness. There are plenty of examples of what we can do, and I wanted to share with you ones I have participated in, or been the recipient of. I would love to hear back from people about the random acts of kindness they are doing, or on the receiving end of. We can all certainly use an infusion of kindness, and positivity in our daily lives. The trick will be to not become complacent and stop being kind to others each day. Here’s my list of acts of kindness which I hope you will benefit from and use:

  1. Smile at everyone you see and say hello to them too. Yes, everyone.
  2. Bring in some “treats”, healthy ones if you can (e.g., fruit) to share with your colleagues, once a week if possible. Inspire others to participate too.
  3. Buy some flowers and put one flower in a small cup of water and place it on as many people’s desks as you can. I actually did this one day, and passed out over (40) flowers, without telling anyone who did this. The reaction people had about receiving a single flower was so much fun to see how happy it made them.
  4. Bring in an item or items from your home to be donated. Put them in a box, ask others to contribute one item, and then take the full box to your favorite charity.
  5. Send your colleagues an e-card. There are a number of “free” e-card options. Here is a link to (11) places to find “free” greeting cards .
  6. If you have a special talent (e.g., you play an instrument, are an artist, know how to make things – websites, quilts, sweaters, clothes, robots, jewelry), offer to share your talent or teach them about your talent during a break or prior to or after work.
  7. Take some photos of your colleagues at work, share them with them, and then let them decide what to do with them. If they have kids, it might be fun for them to share the photo with their kids or significant others to have a “random” photo of them at work.
  8. Have some extra books around your house? Bring them in to share with your colleagues. Leave them in a public place with a note that they are for others to now enjoy. They can keep them, pass them along, or bring them back in for others to read.
  9. If you have access to tickets of any kind, offer to give them to the first person who sends you an email to claim them. The tickets could even be to a local middle or high school play or concert.
  10. Offer to donate an hour of your time to a colleague outside of work who might need help with a project (e.g., they are moving, they need help assembling something, they need help in their yard or with fixing their car or something in their home).
  11. Celebrate people’s birthday’s and accomplishments – even the ones which might seem insignificant. The point is to have more celebrations for the sake of creating smiles and opportunities for people to focus on something positive.
  12. Genuinely compliment as many people during the course of a day you interact with. It could be something as simple as they have neat handwriting, or are always on-time to meetings.

This list is clearly only the start, and I hope the actual catalyst for others to think about the kind things they can do each day to make other people they work with and their lives a bit brighter each day. What kind thing(s) will you be doing today?

Kathleen E. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Strategist and CMO of Market Me TooMarket Me Too has expertise in bridging marketing and sales teams and providing organizations techniques to accelerate their market growth, regardless of the industry they are in, or the business stage they are presently at. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com.

 

Going out for lunch and coffee is more important than you think.

Link to the CBS Radio interview about this article on The Price of Business with Kevin Price on July 9, 2018 from Dublin, Ireland.

By Kathleen E. Murphy

It might seem obvious as a relationship building tool, but have you taken full advantage of getting to know one of your colleagues, or perhaps your boss or team better via a cup of joe or soup? When I ask people how often they make plans to go out to lunch or coffee with others they work with, I am always surprised by how few people are doing this. Or, at least not on a regular basis. Personally, I have experienced incredible transformations in terms of the relationship I had post my coffee and lunch interactions with people I have gone out with.

As a matter of fact, there was one time when I asked a colleague out to lunch simply to see why they were acting so passively aggressively towards me. Some of my other colleagues thought I was crazy for investing any time or energy in the relationship with this passive aggressive individual. However, the outcome from just one lunch with this person turned them from being a nightmare to work with, to being one of my biggest supporters, and who post our lunch experience, worked collaboratively with me from that point on. What made the difference from having lunch with this person? It was actually pretty simple. This person did not fully understand the work I was asking him to do, and he thought it was a waste of his time to be doing the work. What he did not realize was that the work he was doing was enormously helpful to me and understanding the analysis he produced. When he realized his work was perceived as being a valuable contribution to the business, his passive aggressive behavior evaporated, and he turned into a nice person to work with. We continued to have lunch, and actually have kept in touch since we stopped working together.

The example I have given you was not in fact an anomaly, and I have been able to repeat similar results with almost 100% of the people I have spent time with. This simple exercise is absolutely applicable to any person in an organization you are working with. All you have to do is ask them out for coffee or lunch.  Here are some questions you can use to have similar results I have experienced.

  • Start by asking them if they like to travel?
  • If they have not done much traveling, ask them about what are three places in the world they would like to visit someday.
  • Ask them to tell you if they have any pets.
  • Ask them to share with you if they have any favorite charities.
  • Ask them how they picked the career they are in?
  • Would they recommend their career choice to others?
  • What would they say is their “super power”, and how do they use it on a regular basis?
  • Do they enjoy learning about topics unrelated to their profession, or do they invest their free time learning more about topics related to how to advance in their current role?
  • Who inspires them?
  • Basically, get them talking about themselves, and you will be amazed by the fact they might not reciprocate and ask you anything about yourself.

If the conversation goes the way I predict it will; and I have years of experience with coffee and lunch outings, by the end of your time together, you will have “planted-the-seeds” to develop an entirely different relationship with the person you spent time with. Now, the next step in this process is to make a list of the people you need to start queuing up coffee and lunch experiences with. You can either invite them informally by talking to them and agreeing upon a date and time to get together, or you can send them an email invitation asking them when (not if) you can “treat them” to coffee or lunch.

The more experiences you have with going out for coffee and lunch with the people on your “list”, the more opportunities you will have to expand your network, be considered an influencer, and in general take your career in a direction I promise you would not be headed in without doing this.  So, what are you waiting for? Start putting your list together and sending out your invitations today. Doing so will open up a whole new world of opportunities for you on your professional journey, and it is never too early or late to do this.

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CMO of Market Me TooMarket Me Too  bridges teams and provides organizations with techniques to accelerate their market growth and revenue numbers, regardless of the industry they are in, or the business stage they are presently at. Ms. Murphy is also the author of a newly published business book called Wisdom Whisperer which is available via Amazon.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis.

If you want better results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Top 5 Tips on Electronic Etiquette

By Kathleen E. Murphy

Besides your license, credit card and keys, what is the one item and gadget you always have on or near you? Most people will tell you it’s their phone, or some version of an electronic device they use to keep in touch with the rest of the world (e.g., Smart Phone, iWatch, tablet, etc.). With electronic communication technology advancements, we are able to keep in touch 24/7 with virtually anyone else who is connected to a mobile communication device. There are clear advantages to this, but there is also a downside to always being “in touch”, and it is easy to lose sight of what the “unwritten rules” of electronic etiquette might be. Actually, do they really exist, and who is the “keeper” of these rules? If there are electronic etiquette rules, do you know what they are, or have you considered whether you might be breaking them on a regular basis?

In doing research on this topic, I was surprised to find that Forbes Magazine last published an article back in 2010 called Top 10 Electronic Etiquette Faux Pas This article covered a variety of electronic gadgets and the faux pas noted were reasonable and exercised common sense, but I am going to focus strictly on our Smartphones, and offer (5) tips on how not to offend others if you do any of these actions with your phone.  I know most of these will make you roll your eyes, but I guarantee you many of you have done at least one of these things in the last day or two. Don’t try to admit you are not guilty, as I have seen just about everyone breaking what I will call the Top (5) Smartphone Etiquette rules. Here is my version of the unofficial Smartphone Etiquette rules which if applied, could up the ante on our professional behavior to a whole new level of being polite and more aware and respectful of others around us.

  1. Phone in the bathroom – Talking on the toilet or anywhere inside of a public or private bathroom. Think twice before you do this, and how it could be construed as being offensive on so many levels – hygiene being one of them. I can’t tell you how many toilets I have also heard flushing during conference call meetings, and who really wants to be hearing this?
  2. Bringing your phone to your interview – whether you are the interviewer or interviewee. It seems like common sense for the interviewee not to bring their phone to the interview, and to give 100% of their attention to the interviewer, but I have also witnessed and been thoroughly disappointed by countless interviewers who have brought their phone to the interview, taken a call or two and responded to incoming texts while they were interviewing me, or someone else if it was a group interview situation. Not only is this incredible rude, it is highly disrespectful of the interviewee who deserves your full attention. Think twice about working for someone or a company who has employees who bring their phones to an interview.
  3. Taking calls or texting when you are dining with other people. Maybe they could claim they are addicted to their phone, and I have heard this is possible, but I would say most people are not addicted to their phone although they might feel like they are. The point is, when you are dining with other people, it is one of the less common times you have their full attention, so each of you should be taking full advantage of this face-to-face interaction. If you are on your phone either talking or responding to incoming messages from email or your social media feeds, you are signaling to the person or people you are dining with they are not as important as the attention you are giving to your Smartphone content. Is this really the message you want to convey to them?
  4. Your phone is not going to make you stronger when you talk on it at the gym. I am a big fan of listening to music at the gym or possibly responding to either texts or emails, but it definitely is not a place I want to be hearing other people talking on the phone. Think about this the next time you queue up a phone conversation when you are at the gym. Perhaps you didn’t notice the people glaring at you when you were doing this.
  5. Meetings – When you are scheduled to be in a meeting, the expectation is you are there to be present and to contribute your full attention during the course of the discussion. When you are constantly checking your phone for incoming emails and other alerts which come up, you are essentially indirectly telling the people you are meeting with they are not as important as your phone, or the communications which are coming in. You are also not able to devote 100% of your attention to what is being discussed, as you are in a state of distraction when you switch between your phone and the “live” or “virtual” meeting. Is this the message you are intending to send?

Yes, there are numerous other “rules” I could come up with relating to peoples use of their Smartphone in places or situations they should not, but I limited it to five to give you “food-for-thought” and good fodder for office or social conversations. The bottom line is there are a plethora of other scenarios which are likely putting you in a situation of not being socially on top of your Smartphone etiquette. Do you agree, or do you have other examples of poor Smartphone etiquette?

Kathleen E. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Strategist and CMO of Market Me TooMarket Me Too has expertise in bridging marketing and sales teams and providing organizations techniques to accelerate their market growth, regardless of the industry they are in, or the business stage they are presently at. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com.