Communication – Page 5 – Market Me Too

December 27, 2017

(7) Questions to find out what motivates you.

By Kathleen E.R. Murphy

I have always been fascinated by understanding what motivates other people, and the insight I gain from my conversations with them when we discuss this topic. Similar to a persons palm and the lines on it, no two people have exactly the same thing which motivates them. This is a good thing, because if we were all motivated by the same things, our world would not be as interesting and diverse as it is. When was the last time you paused to think about what motivates you, or have you figured out what actually motivates you?

One of the things which motivates me is traveling and meeting new people. I am always honored to become acquainted with total strangers upon first meeting, and after speaking with them for either ten minutes or hours, have a completely new and different understanding of the person I first met, and where they came from (e.g., from a country perspective). As have shared with you before, I am not a huge fan of watching the news, as it only gives you the perspective from the people who are editing the information you end up seeing. I would much rather and prefer to conduct my own interviews and do my own analysis on what is going on in the world by actually having conversations with people who live in different parts of the world. In my opinion, there is no better way to educate yourself about the world and the people in it than by traveling, so this is one of the things which motivates me.

Motivation can come from many different places, and it can come from oneself, or via others who motivate you. Not everyone is self-motivated, so fortuneately there are other people who can help to motivate you, and this is perfectly fine. For example, if you wish to get in shape an d want to go the gym but have no idea how to use the equipment at the gym to become fit, then hiring a personal trainer to help you with this process makes perfect sense and in the process can help to motivate you to become a fit person. Or, if you want to become better at something professionally, you can either seek out a mentor or someone who has mastered the work you are trying to become better at. The person who has mastered what you are trying to learn can serve as the motivation, while simultaneously teaching you how to become better at what you are seeking to learn how to do on a new level of competency.

Many people are motivated by sports stars or business icons, or potentially by their local sports coach who has dedicated themselves to helping kids learn how to play a sport and be able to learn the valuable lessons associated with competitive level sports. Inspiration can also come from admiring what other people have achieved from a professional perspective whether they are in a traditional role such as a surgeon or perhaps a professional opera singer. Inspiration can also come from nature, and admiring the work accomplished by landscape designers such as Frederick Locke Olmsted who designed both the Boston Public Garden as well as (parts of?) the New York Central Park.

So what if you are now at this point of the article and you are thinking I am not sure what motivates me? Well, you are in luck, because I have (7) questions you can ask yourself to help sort this out.

Is there something I think about or enjoy doing which causes me to want to do more of it, and which I can make a living from?
What are 2-3 things I regularly think about wanting to be doing when I am not doing the work I get paid to do?
Has there been something in your life which you have never lost interest in and continue to do even at this point in your life (e.g., you love animals, so you continue to volunteer your time at. your local animal shelter)?
You do something which you never tire of doing, and which also brings you joy when you do it (e.g., you play golf, you paint pictures, you play an instrument or sing, you coach a team or volunteer your time to help tutor others at something you are good at).
What do. you daydream about doing when you are at work, and wish you were doing instead, and which is either something which is productive, or which contributes to society in a positive way?
What is something you would do which you would gladly sacrifice sleep or money to do?
Think about the things you enjoy doing which increase your energy versus depleting it.

If you can answer the questions above and then study your responses, you will either see a pattern or things you like to do, and activities which can serve as motivators to inspire you to do more of the things you want to be focused on spending more of your time doing either professionally, or personally or both. Motivation can come from within or from others or things around you. Your job is to figure out which one or a combination of these are what motivates you to have a better career and life.

Kathleen E. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Strategist and CMO of Market Me Too. Market Me Too has expertise in bridging marketing and sales teams and providing organizations techniques to accelerate their market growth, regardless of the industry they are in, or the business stage they are presently at. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com.

Thank you to all of my readers around the globe.

I want to acknowledge and thank all of you who have been supportive followers of my articles this year. A special shout out is warranted for my friends at Black Duck Software, Barracuda Networks, Constant Contact and Ipswitch for their continuous support of my journey and new adventures.

Happy New Year to all of you, and be on the look out for my first book coming out in early 2018. No title yet, but I will let you know when the book is available.

December 23, 2017December 23, 2017

Own your confidence – (10) ways to do so

By Kathleen E.R. Murphy

Possessing confidence can be one of the most satisfying feelings, especially when your confidence is derived from something you are proud of or enjoy doing. Demonstrating confidence to others comes in a variety of delivery methods such as how you present yourself physically, how you speak, walk and treat others. People who are confident tend to have a certain allure about them which you know they have, but which is sometimes difficult to describe. You just know they have it. The funny thing about confidence is that it is a fluid type of feeling, as it can come and go. However, when you are able to sustain your confidence, you are in a position of owning it, and it becomes more difficult to lose.

Too often I have seen people with confidence let others chip away at their confidence, and this is generally when the person is in the process of building up their confidence. If I were to think of an analogy for confidence, I would compare it to a foundation. Like a foundation, confidence can be built up and be a really strong foundation, or it can be a weakly built one and easily eroded. So, how do you know whether you have built a strong confidence foundation, or one made of a weak substance such as dust? This depends, as when we are in the process of building up our foundation of confidence, sometimes it is built using strong substances like boulders, and sometimes it is not. Why does this happen? It happens as we are testing our ability to own something, and when we are in the process of experimenting with our confidence building strategies.

Speaking of strategies, do you have strategies to own building up your confidence? You may not have taken time to ponder this, but it is essential to have some go to strategies to work towards building up and maintaining your confidence. Here are (10) ideas to consider to help you build up your confidence foundation.

Write down 1-3 three things you are proud of having accomplished. These do not have to be monumental accomplishments, and they can be divided into both professional as well as personal accomplishments.
On a scale of 1-5, with 5 being the highest, how would your rate your accomplishments?
Is it possible to continue to build upon the accomplishments you have achieved? If so, think about how you can do this, and by committing to putting it in writing, it is more likely to happen.
Now, write down 3-5 things you want to accomplish professionally or personally in the next year, or sooner.
Plot out in a few sentences how you are going to be able to accomplish the things you want to do in a few sentences. This does not have to be an exercise in crafting a novel, and only you need to see this information.
Ask 5-10 of your colleagues or friends to write down 5 or more words which describe who you are. Tell them you will reciprocate doing this for them.
Once you have your list of words from your friends, use this information to gain potentially new insight into how others view you. Part of this exercise is to demonstrate to you that other people may see you in a much stronger position professionally than you do, given their choice of words to describe you.
Commit to doing 1-2 random acts of kindness for other people every day. These small gestures will indirectly help to build up your confidence as you will feel more satisfied by doing something nice for others, and the feeling will be cumulative and help to further strengthen the confidence foundation you are building.
Make sure every day you have an opportunity to work on doing the things that make you feel confident. Each time you do this, it is equivalent to further building up the strength of your confidence foundation, which you absolutely want to fully own.
I know you have heard the expression “fake it until you make it”. There is something interesting about this expression, and part of it has to do with acting confident, even when you may not feel this way in whatever situation you need to be more confident in (e.g., giving a presentation, going after your dream job, planning an event, doing research work). If you have not already tried applying this concept, give it a try. It becomes easy to master with practice, and before you know it, you will not feel like you are faking it anymore.

Not all of the suggestions above might be applicable to you, but there should be a few of them which can help to put you on a trajectory towards owning it, and I can’t wait for you to get there, but make sure you take time to enjoy the journey along the way.

December 6, 2017December 6, 2017

Dress for Success, not the “club”.

By Kathleen E.R. Murphy

Yes, it may be a cliche that you should dress for success, or for the job you want to have, but I see on a daily basis that some people clearly never received this “memo”. Instead I see many people who show up at work looking like they are heading immediately to either the gym, back to bed, or perhaps a night club. With companies adopting a more “relaxed” dress code, people have taken it upon themselves to sometimes go beyond the line of what is actually an acceptable style of clothes to wear to work. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about being comfortable with what I am wearing during work hours, but I also keep in mind I do not ever want to feel uncomfortable because the clothes I chose to wear are potentially too casual.

I am not exaggerating when I tell you I have actually seen people come to work in what were literally their “sleeping clothes”, and I have also seen many people leaving the gym in the morning looking like they are working at a night club, but I’m almost positive they do not. So, if your company has a written work attire policy, my advice is to consider taking it up a notch in terms of what their dress code standards are. Why? Because as I mentioned earlier, it is far better to be perceived as being overdressed, and thought of as someone who knows how to dress at a level above the current role they may be in. Most people are visually oriented, so when they see someone who is dressed casually, they are assuming you might not have the credibility in your role based on the way you look. I understand this is a presumptive interpretation, but I have witnessed for years how people are treated based on the way they are dressing in the office.

Choosing the “right” professional clothing applies to both sexes, and to those who do not choose to identify with one sex or the other. An example I can share with you about how the perception people have of you based on your clothing can be best illustrated by a trade show my company was participating at. There were multiple people in our booth from our company, and all ages and both females and males were represented. Everyone in the booth except me was wearing a company shirt and jeans. Due to the fact I was meeting with the press and other business people, I chose to wear more “business oriented” clothing. When I was standing in the booth with my colleagues, people stopping by our booth automatically assumed I was the CEO of the company, and this absolutely had to do with what I was wearing. At the time, I was not actually the CEO, but the perception people had based on my clothes was that I was the head person at the company.

After being witness to so many people seemingly not knowing what is appropriate “casual” office attire, I thought I would provide you with some quick tips to avoid making the mistake of dressing too casually.

If you would wear the clothes to bed, then don’t wear them in the office.
If you would wear the clothes to the gym, save them for your gym workouts.
There may in fact be clothes which can nicely transition to being worn at a night club, but if you have even the slightest hesitation about whether to wear the clothes you have selected, don’t wear them.
You have a great sense of humor, or collect t-shirts which are representative of your political, cultural or religious viewpoints, but wear these on the weekend, and not to the office.
You love wearing form fitting clothing, but some of it rides the line of making others uncomfortable when you wear these type of clothes. This applies to both men and women, and ladies, let’s keep the showy cleavage tops at home. It makes both men and women uncomfortable when you expose too much cleavage, especially in a professional office setting.

If you have not been graced with having good style sense, or are still perplexed by your office dress code when your office has one, ask one of your friends to help you out who you perceive to dress well. They will be flattered you asked them to help you. Additionally, you will also increase your chances of having others viewing you via a more positive professional perception when you “up-your-game”, and dress well in the office. Certainly it can be subjective in terms of what “dressing well” means, but doing so will surprise you from time to time with the positive comments others will make when they notice you are doing so. Give this a try, and let me know what happens.

October 19, 2017

Are you “that guy/girl” in the office?

By Kathleen E. Murphy

Regardless of how many years you have been working, undoubtedly you have encountered both spectrums of people you enjoy working with, and those who you would rather hit the “eject” button on… if there was one. Fortunately, most people fall into the mid-range of being good to work with, but what if you are one of the “complicated/messy” people everyone dreads working with, or if you are trying to avoid hiring someone like this?

Most people do their best to avoid bringing drama into the workplace, but some people either do not realize they are doing this, or simply can’t help themselves. Sometimes it might be a phase the person is going through which makes it seem like every day is filled with unnecessary drama being brought by them into the workplace. Generally, if you take the time to ask them if they are OK, and if they realize their outside life it impacting their work, they are often not aware of this. When you point this out to them, they will either be embarrassed or grateful for the fact you are acknowledging their outside world having a negative impact on their professional environment. Asking them if there is anything you can do to help them is the right thing to do, even if you do not think you can fully support them. However, having your emotional support will sometimes be enough and exactly what they need.

Even if you are not in a hiring capacity, chances are you would want to figure out how to deal with someone who is “complicated”. Better yet, you probably want to make your working experience far more gratifying, especially if you are dealing with “complicated” people. The best approach when dealing with these type of people is to ask them a few questions. Here is what I recommend:

How would you rate your daily interaction satisfaction rate with your colleagues on a scale of (1-5), 5 being the highest?
What is the best part of your day, and coffee breaks, lunch and leaving the office can’t be one of your answers.
If money did not matter, what would be your ideal job?
Who do you admire professionally, and why?

The answers to these questions will allow you to have an open dialogue with the person about whether they are happy. If they are clearly not happy, encouraging them to think about what they need to do to make working with the people they are working with more enjoyable is a good place to start. If you do not manage the person you are having the conversation with, being empathetic to their situation could be the catalyst to turn their “complicated/messy” attitude around. However, if you do manage the person who is having difficultly working with either one or more people on the team, encourage them to find ways that can make the work encounters they are having less drama filled or less combative. If they are not aware of their behavior, pointing this out to them, or what I call “showing them the mirror of how they are perceived by others”, has had a dramatic impact on people numerous times I have had this conversation.

If you are in a hiring position and are building your “dream team”, here are some questions you can ask to make sure you seek and find the people who you will not regret hiring.

Questions to ask to avoid hiring “that” person, or answering to find out if you are “that” person:

How important are celebrating your colleague’s birthdays to you on a scale of (1-5), 5 being the highest rating.
Tell me about your most recent social service experience in helping others. When was it, and what was the best part of the experience?
What kinds of teams were you on growing up? This can include being in a band, on the debate team, in a choir or the drama club and not just sports teams. NOTE: If they were not on any teams, this might indicate they have limited experience with collaborative experiences.
What is an example of an experience you are most proud of accomplishing?
Tell me about things that motivate you to be kind to others.
Have you ever had a service job (e.g., bartending, waiting tables, camp counselor)? NOTE: I have generally only hired people who say “yes” to this question, as it demonstrates they know how to serve the needs of others first, and interact well with people.
What is one or a couple of things you are passionate about? NOTE: They do not have to be work related.
On a scale of 1-5, how important is it for people to get along? Five is the highest rating.
When you walk into a room, how would others know you have arrived?

Since most people will be working for a large majority of their lives, it is imperative to have strategies in place for finding the right people and companies to work with and for. Life is too short to work with too many of “that person”. Do you agree?

October 13, 2017October 16, 2017

Karma and kindness. What’s your impact on others?

By Kathleen E. Murphy

With all the sad news overwhelming us this past month, I started thinking about what could I or others do to help to offset all the “negative” things and vibes happening in our world. One thing I saw which was posted on-line was a list of kind things someone could do to inspire more acts of kindness. Most of these acts could be applied in a professional environment, but were namely intended to occur outside of a business environment.

Last week I attended a marketing technology event in Boston and American Author, Entrepreneur and fellow Marketer Seth Godin was the afternoon keynote speaker. One of the questions which came up at the end of his speech, was what can we do to offset all the negative news? Seth indicated that although the news is real, and is certainly sensational, he brought up a point which struck home and related to television journalist Wolf Blitzer. He asked the audience to think about why Wolf is always in the “situation room”? If he is always in a “situation room”, then there must be a situation going on, and of course this will then automatically sensationalize the topic related to the “situation room”. In other words, by establishing Wolf is in a “situation room”, naturally evokes a negative connotation. This then feeds into what the media is often criticized for which is to promote topics which are geared only for ratings purposes. This is one reason I prefer to obtain my news from sources which are more “neutral”, and actually focused on not putting their own spin, usually a negative one on the topic.

Now, back to what can we do in a professional environment to begin a chain reaction of inciting more acts of kindness. There are plenty of examples of what we can do, and I wanted to share with you ones I have participated in, or been the recipient of. I would love to hear back from people about the random acts of kindness they are doing, or on the receiving end of. We can all certainly use an infusion of kindness, and positivity in our daily lives. The trick will be to not become complacent and stop being kind to others each day. Here’s my list of acts of kindness which I hope you will benefit from and use:

Smile at everyone you see and say hello to them too. Yes, everyone.
Bring in some “treats”, healthy ones if you can (e.g., fruit) to share with your colleagues, once a week if possible. Inspire others to participate too.
Buy some flowers and put one flower in a small cup of water and place it on as many people’s desks as you can. I actually did this one day, and passed out over (40) flowers, without telling anyone who did this. The reaction people had about receiving a single flower was so much fun to see how happy it made them.
Bring in an item or items from your home to be donated. Put them in a box, ask others to contribute one item, and then take the full box to your favorite charity.
Send your colleagues an e-card. There are a number of “free” e-card options. Here is a link to (11) places to find “free” greeting cards .
If you have a special talent (e.g., you play an instrument, are an artist, know how to make things – websites, quilts, sweaters, clothes, robots, jewelry), offer to share your talent or teach them about your talent during a break or prior to or after work.
Take some photos of your colleagues at work, share them with them, and then let them decide what to do with them. If they have kids, it might be fun for them to share the photo with their kids or significant others to have a “random” photo of them at work.
Have some extra books around your house? Bring them in to share with your colleagues. Leave them in a public place with a note that they are for others to now enjoy. They can keep them, pass them along, or bring them back in for others to read.
If you have access to tickets of any kind, offer to give them to the first person who sends you an email to claim them. The tickets could even be to a local middle or high school play or concert.
Offer to donate an hour of your time to a colleague outside of work who might need help with a project (e.g., they are moving, they need help assembling something, they need help in their yard or with fixing their car or something in their home).
Celebrate people’s birthday’s and accomplishments – even the ones which might seem insignificant. The point is to have more celebrations for the sake of creating smiles and opportunities for people to focus on something positive.
Genuinely compliment as many people during the course of a day you interact with. It could be something as simple as they have neat handwriting, or are always on-time to meetings.

This list is clearly only the start, and I hope the actual catalyst for others to think about the kind things they can do each day to make other people they work with and their lives a bit brighter each day. What kind thing(s) will you be doing today?