Your perspective. How it can change for the better, and quickly.

Anyone who knows me well, knows I’m an optimist, and sharing a world with others who let’s say are not always as positive. Is this challenging for me? Sometimes it is, and in fact I do need to avoid people whose personality favors being negative. They draw down my positive energy, and no one needs others to deplete their energy.

Due to the fact my perspective favors a sunny outlook, even during times when you wouldn’t expect this, I tend to look at the world via a different lens than most. One of my favorite things to do is to help others, see what I see. Doing this provides me with the opportunity to verbally and sometimes visually paint a different perspective for the person I am speaking with.

Generally, after I have helped someone to change their perspective, I’m always amazed at their reaction. So much so, that there have been times I wanted to video what they were telling me. There was one time in particular when I was in the process of helping to change someone’s perspective. The conversation involved a parent relating to a young person on their son’s sports team that I was working with. I was working with the entire team and the coaching staff too.

According to the parent I was speaking with, her perception of the young man I was discussing was vastly different than the perspective she and other parents had. The parent was commenting on some of this young man’s choices, and only had a one-dimensional perspective of who he was. They saw him as a troublemaker. I saw him very differently, and so did his teammates and head coach. The young men on this person’s team thought very highly of him, and of his lacrosse skills. He had high emotional intelligence, was funny and possessed a great deal of energy. Yes, sometimes his energy got him into trouble when it wasn’t constructively guided.

When I was describing the positive attributes of this young man to the parent who didn’t know him, but who had heard stories about him, they were shocked at what I was telling them. What did I tell this parent? I told them this young man had incredible potential as both a person and athlete, and if he was well guided, had a shot at playing lacrosse on a college team.  Can you picture the look of someone staring at you in disbelief? This is what I was looking at.

The best part was that the parent told me they had not heard anything positive about the young man. However, based on what I was sharing with them about him, they admitted could now figure out why their son liked him. They apologized to me for thinking this young man was a troublemaker, and not a good teammate. The best part of this conversation occurred next. It was when this person said they were going to be a public relations champion for this young man. What were they going to do? They were going to talk to and tell the other parents on the team about what they had heard from me.  Hearing this made my heart melt, and I had to hold back tears when I heard this.

It’s conversations like this one that make helping others change or alter their perspective for the better, and quickly that makes me know there is hope for those who you can’t imagine their perspective changing.

So, can you help others like I do to change their perspective? Yes, and here are some tips on how to do so.

  • Ask the person if they would consider changing their perspective. Chances are no one has asked them to do so.
  • Get the person to explain why they think the way they do. Often, they do not realize their thinking has been manipulated by others, and they found it easier to go along with what I call “group thinking” versus independent thinking.
  • If the person’s perspective is negative, or can hurt others emotionally, ask them if this is their intention?
  • If the person you are speaking with is open to changing their perspective, thank them for being open to doing so. It’s not always easy for people to do this, but when they change their mind and perspective in a positive way, everyone wins.

Granted not everyone will be open to changing their perspectives. However, it will be worth the effort of trying to get them to do so. Especially when the outcome can continue to help, as illustrated in my example above. Don’t give up if your first attempt doesn’t go the way you want it to. If you are passionate about changing someone’s perspective, it will be worth pursuing making this happen.

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of Market Me Too.  She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Finder Coachauthor of Wisdom Whisperer  and Evolve! With the Wisdom Whisperer (published in December 2019)and is a well-respected motivational and social influencer with a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances. She also is the creator and Host of a TV Show and Podcast called Murf & E Unfiltered – Zero BS Biz Talk.

Essentially every team is dysfunctional in some way. Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and bridging dysfunctional teams (sports & business), and turning them into epic ones.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Our coaching produces repeatable, measurable and amazing results personally and professionally. Need proof? Just talk to our clients, or read through our testimonials.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

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Every team is dysfunctional at some point.  Click on the link below to obtain a “free guide” with (5) Proven Strategies To Turn Your Dysfunctional Team Into An Epic One

 

 

 

Reinventing yourself professionally. Do you need or want to do this?

At some point during your career, you will consider whether the career path you have chosen will be the one you will be on for the long haul. Statistically speaking, you really don’t need to worry too much about this, as most people will change their career direction up to 3-4 times. For some, this might seem impossible, but for others, the number might actually be higher.

The days of working at the same company your entire career are long over, and for me personally, this is a huge relief, as I can’t imagine still being at the same company I started my career. Although I do know one person who is still at that company close to thirty years later.

The majority of people like some change, many have a harder time embracing or seeking out change, especially when it comes to their career direction. If you were to ask ten people how they chose the career they are in, you are likely to hear ten very different reasons. However, the common thread will be that they were influenced by another person to head in that direction.

Based on the fact many people are highly influenced by another person to proceed and pursue a particular career, is one of the reasons why people end up going in another career direction. Having someone else heavily influence your career decision happens frequently, and the people who are doing the influencing have good intentions. Although, most of the influencers are not asking the person enough questions to truly help them to make an informed career direction decision.

So, if you were in a position to give someone advice, or if you need advice on how to reinvent yourself professionally, here are some questions and statements to consider before heading down your new path.

  • What do you spend the majority of your time thinking about which would make your professional direction more constructive and enjoyable?
  • If money were not a concern, what career would be ideal for you?
  • Think about when you were really young. What did you tell other people you wanted to “be” when you grew up? Sometimes our young self is wiser than we give it credit.
  • Have you realistically considered what it will take to change professions? Sometimes doing so might be less drastic than you think it will be.
  • Many of the skills you have acquired are likely highly transferrable to another type of profession or industry. Sometimes changing industries instead of changing careers is much easier to do.
  • Regardless of where you are in your career journey, you are never stuck. You only allow yourself to be mentally stuck.
  • If you have even the slightest interest in a different career or industry, find someone who is in it, and ask to talk to them about how they got into their industry. Or, ask them why they made the decision to pursue the type of work they are doing.
  • Is working for a company or in an industry that gives back to our society, or supports us having a better society important to you? Sometimes when we are misaligned with a company and what they stand for, finding a company you can align with mentally, emotionally and professionally can make an enormous positive difference in your career satisfaction.
  • There isn’t a magic formula for when is the best time to transform your career or self into a new direction. The process is generally a slower moving one, and it will almost feel like one day you are ready to begin the process of making your changes.
  • Planning your new career direction is advisable, and it will make it easier for you to think about the considerations you will need to take into account if your new career direction is going to be potentially disruptive, or requires you to take a cut in pay.
  • Remember, sometimes we have to take a step backwards to go forward. However, this is generally worth it. You will also be afforded an opportunity to learn more when you start at a place that will provide you with additional guidance from others who are more experienced.

When I made the decision to “pivot” my career, I did so over the course of a couple of years. Has it been worth making the decision to change my career path? It absolutely has, as I now feel like for the first time in my career I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing. The best thing about the change I made was to see the difference I am making in other people’s lives, and careers based on the work I am doing to support them.

As some of you know, I refer to myself as a “people diamond polisher”.  I am enormously proud of the work I do. The results others get from my decision to pivot my career to focus my talent and attention on helping others, is enormously professionally rewarding.

My wish for you is that you arrive at the place I am professionally, and begin to understand what it feels like to be doing something which is authentically aligned with your talents.

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of MarketMe Too.  She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, author of Wisdom Whisperer, and is a well-respected motivational and social influencer who has a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances.

Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and bridging teams (sports & business). What does this do for our clients? It provides them with an acceleration boost to reach their goals sooner, and interact with a renewed efficiency, focus and energy level.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Our coaching produces repeatable, measurable and amazing results personally and professionally. Need proof? Just talk to our clients, or read through our testimonials.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

 

Authenticity sparkle. Do you have it?

Not everyone is charming all the time, but those who are both charming and authentic certainly have advantages over others. You know who they are, and you quite possibly could be one of these people. Most salespeople can pull off a version of being charming, but the exceptional ones also do this authentically. Of course, I’m referencing salespeople because this particular career requires them to have what I refer to as ‘authentic sparkle’.

When someone has authentic sparkle, it’s incredibly obvious to others, and yet it may or may not be obvious to the person who possesses this ability. This may sound absurd, but I have seen this phenomenon so many times, I decided to share my take on how others who do not have this combo can either work on obtaining it, or hire someone who possesses it to be on their sales team.

So, the first thing you need to be aware of is the main characteristic traits for authentic sparkle. This is how I would break down being able to recognize them, although chances are you too have recently come across someone with these traits.  This is a limited list, but will provide you with enough clues on how to recognize the signs of this person.

  • When you first meet them, you feel like you have known them forever, or have met them before, but can’t remember exactly when it was.
  • They have the ability to converse on just about any topic you can imagine, with ease and beyond simply a surface level.
  • This is the type of person you want to invite to your next party or family gathering, even if you just met them.
  • They have an uncanny ability to put you at complete ease, even if the situation is stressful.
  • Although it seems unrealistic, you immediately have a sense you can trust this person, but you can’t put your finger on exactly understanding why you feel this way.
  • You want to help this person, even if you do not normally extend help to people you have just met.
  • This person literally makes your day better instantly when you meet them. Who doesn’t want to align themselves with this type of individual?

Have you met someone recently who you could describe as having some if not all of the characteristics above? If you have, what was the experience like for you?

Now, let’s switch gears and talk about how you too could attempt to acquire some of the characteristic traits noted above. These traits do not have to only apply to salespeople, as having a persona type which includes the characteristics above can be beneficial to lots of professions, and can carry over into your life too.

If you are interested in adding authentic sparkle to your life or profession, here are some tips on how to go about doing so.

  • Just be yourself. Seriously, too many people are attempting to be like others, but in my opinion, most people I have met are all pretty incredible in their own unique way. Embrace it, or like my article titled “Embrace Your Weirdness” encourages, don’t be afraid to show others who you really are.
  • Focus more on listening versus talking about yourself. Apply the 80/20 rule, which consists of listening 80% of the time, and limiting your talking to 20%. When you do this, you automatically come across as being more authentic.
  • Commit to once per day doing one nice thing for someone else. Both you and the person you did the nice thing for will add to your what I will call “sparkle bank”. I have also referred to this as your “karma bank”, and essentially, they are similar.
  • Look for opportunities to practice being authentic. If you do not provide yourself with chances to practice being charming, and your genuine self, you are not going to automatically become better at this simply because you want to. Sorry to burst your bubble on this, but it’s true.
  • After around one month of applying these basic tips, see if anyone notices or tells you that you seem happier or more fun to be with. Or, perhaps you will start to be invited out more or included in experiences you were not in the past. If this happens, you will know your authentic sparkle is starting to kick into gear for you.

Whether you want to have more authentic sparkle or hire someone who possesses it, I hope my take on how to go about upping your sparkle will work for you, or allow you to find people to hire which have this trait. One last hint, people who have “Woo” or “Positivity” in their Gallup Strengths Top 5, generally will have the authentic sparkle you are looking for.

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of MarketMe Too.  She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, author of Wisdom Whisperer, and is a well-respected motivational and social influencer who has a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances.

Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and bridging teams (sports & business). What does this do for our clients? It provides them with an acceleration boost to reach their goals sooner, and interact with a renewed efficiency, focus and energy level.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Our coaching produces repeatable, measurable and amazing results personally and professionally. Need proof? Just talk to our clients, or read through our testimonials.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

What makes you stand out?

Perhaps you have heard the expression, that person really stands out in a crowd. Depending on how you think about hearing this, it could be a positive thing, or perhaps a negative one. I generally look at this as a good thing, with the caveat that the person standing out is not harming themselves or anyone else.

In the US, our culture generally embraces people being unique, or at least accepting or tolerating this at some level. We are fortunate to be living in a country that is more open minded than some other places in the world. However, we also know there are certain places in our country that are more accepting of people’s differences than others.

Consider yourself fortunate if you happen to live in a place that embraces people being different. If you do not live in such a place, you will have to consider becoming more comfortable with your uniqueness, or in an extreme situation, relocate. Let’s hope you do not have to do this, but generally putting yourself in a more positive environment is what we should all be striving to do.

So, what makes you stand out? This might not be something you think about every day. However, it is a good exercise to go through, as it focuses you on the aspects of who you are, how you look at your world, how you approach each situation and perhaps how you want the world to view you. The good news is that there is no one right way to stand out, and I’m referring to standing out as part of what helps to define your personal brand.

We are living at a point in time when self-branding has become something everyone has to consider, not just celebrities and famous people who have professionals managing their image. Whether you engage with social media or not, a large percentage of the population does, and this engagement is part of what directly and indirectly impacts their image, or personal brand.

Since most people are not professional brand managers, they can in fact take on and better understand the aspects of managing a brand, their brand. Ways to do this start with becoming aware of the type of image you are portraying via social media. It’s best to think twice before you post either images or content which can have a negative impact on you. I don’t think I need to spell this out in terms of what the specifics are. However, if you even think for a nano-second and have a hint of doubt about posting something, don’t. Yes, it’s that simple.

Now, if you want to stand out, and do so in a way which is going to be perceived as being positive, then there are numerous ways to do this, and here are some suggestions about how to do so in a way which will not cause you angst, or regret.

  • Before you post content, think about whether the content could be perceived as content which could be hurtful, to anyone. If it is, then don’t post it.
  • Sure, you may think you should be posting all of your social partying images at that moment in time, but I can tell you, images like these have caused people that were going to be hired, to get cut from the list of candidates to hire.
  • If you do any sort of volunteer work, and if it is conducive to showing the work via a photo, by all means, post this photo. This is the type of image which can absolutely help your personal brand image.
  • Perhaps you won some type of award either at work or in your community. It’s perfectly fine to tell others about this, and toss in a photo if the award is something which can be photographed.
  • Share information on your social feeds about others who are doing good things for other people. Give them a shout-out for being good at what they are doing, or because they are doing something positive for others. We need more good news to off-set all the bad news we are bombarded with on a daily basis.
  • If you have a hobby, and it is one you can teach others, consider offering to teach it to others by letting them know you will do this via your social feeds. Of course, you can limit this offer, but simply making the offer is what will help to make you stand out in a positive manner.

Standing out can sometimes have a negative perception, but it doesn’t have to. As a matter of fact, being different and standing out is something we should all become more comfortable with doing. Why? Because at various points in our life, we will need to stand out more at times than others. If we are comfortable with doing so, this will serve us very well.

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of MarketMe Too.  She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, author of Wisdom Whisperer, and is a well-respected motivational and social influencer who has a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances.

Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and strengthening teams (sports & business). What does this do for our clients? It provides them with an acceleration boost to reach their goals sooner, and interact with a renewed efficiency, focus and energy level.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Our coaching produces repeatable, measurable and amazing results personally and professionally. Need proof? Just talk to our clients, or read through our testimonials.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

 

Making a difference? You can be.

A friend of mine is going through a really rough patch. However, what he tells me, and what we have talked a great deal about is how much helping other people is what makes his day brighter. He also said that helping someone else makes him forget about what he is worrying about, and adds a sense of joy to his day.

For some, helping others comes naturally. However, too many people are so self-focused they forget about the importance of carving out time to help others. Helping others should be at the top of everyone’s agenda, and it does not have to mean monetarily helping them. Actually, donating your time or attention to someone or something is better.

The ones who are always helping other people generally do not broadcast what they are doing. In fact, most of the time, the people who are routinely assisting others do so with little to no credit. They know who they are, and realistically they are not looking for praise. No, they help others because they want to make a difference in people’s lives, and put their effort and time towards doing this.

Fortunately, there are companies who allow, and even encourage their employees to donate their time to worthy causes. This is absolutely a win/win for everyone involved. Most of the time, these activities which make a difference in others’ lives, go completely unnoticed. It’s perfectly fine that they do, as not every good deed needs to be recognized. Both the giver and receiver derive satisfaction. This can be enough.

So, are you doing your part to make a difference? I’m talking about making a difference in other people’s lives, your family, your community, your school, your country. Fill in the blank, as there are numerous ways you can make a positive difference, and impact the lives of others.

Have you considered helping others? I’m not buying your excuse about being too busy. I was listening to Elizabeth Gilbert recently at the Boston Women’s Conference. She talked about how everyone can always find time to apply it to what either they want to, or should be doing. It’s a matter of prioritizing your time.

There is a saying that “if you want to get something done, ask a busy person to help you”. Why? Because they are exceptional at prioritizing their time and getting things done. Does this sound like you, or someone you know? If not, then look harder, as there are plenty of people out there who fall into this category.

Still wondering about what you can do to make a difference? Here are some suggestions to get you started:

  • Start by looking for opportunities in your town or city to donate your time. This time of year, many organizations are looking for extra help.
  • If you have a special talent or skill, consider how you can share this with someone who might not be able to afford or have access to learning about the talent or skill you have (e.g., writing, singing, carpentry, just about anything you are good at doing). Let others know you are interested in donating your time and talents, and before you know it, you will likely be matched up with someone who can benefit from this. You could even put a sign up in your office letting your colleagues know you are willing to volunteer your time and talent to people they know.
  • Lots of pet shelters need volunteers. If you like animals, but perhaps cannot have one of your own, this is a great way to enjoy the benefits of providing care for a pet.
  • Most cities have homeless shelters. They are always looking for volunteers. You can simply donate items if for some reason, you cannot carve out time to help them, but try harder.
  • Boys and Girls Clubs across the country, as well as other types of similar organizations are also frequently looking for volunteers. Think back to the time when you were younger and the positive impact adults in your life had on you. This could be you having a positive impact on a young person.
  • Donate your time to clean up a neighbor’s property. Perhaps one who is either elderly or needs physical assistance. You can volunteer to help them in their yard, picking up their groceries or any number of tasks they have difficulty with.

Helping other people and the amazing feeling you get from doing this is something everyone should regularly experience. If you are not doing this, commit to doing this soon, and on a regular basis. Imagine if everyone volunteered their time and talent? Wow, what an amazing world we would be living in.

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of MarketMe Too.  She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, author of Wisdom Whisperer, and is a well-respected motivational and social influencer who has a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances.

Our expertise is in uniting and bridging teams (sports & business). What does this do for our clients? It provides them with an acceleration boost to reach their goals sooner, and interact with a renewed efficiency, focus and energy level.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Our coaching produces repeatable, measurable and amazing results personally and professionally. Need proof? Just talk to our clients, or read through our testimonials.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.