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Are you aware of your unconscious biases?

Look around. What do you see? Depending on where you are is going to impact what you are seeing and reacting to. If you happen to be at work, you might be seeing your colleagues, and any number of different visual images of what is happening in your work environment. What you are seeing and experiencing could be the same thing every day, or perhaps the opposite of that a job that provides constant changing circumstances and scenery.

Essentially bias is another word, or a softer word for prejudice. If you know me, this is a word or type of thinking I don’t tolerate. As a matter of fact, I have called people out on this in my own family. When I do this, I ask them to explain why they think the way they do. Most of the time I vehemently disagree with their thinking, but I will give them the benefit of the doubt to consider re-thinking the way they think. I’m not saying my thinking is always right. However, when someone is overtly voicing or acting upon a bias I’m not going to be quiet about it.

Yes, I realize you cannot change people. They have to want to change themselves. However, I have found that 100% of the people who have a bias are not able to credibly explain why they think the way the do to justify their biased thinking. This is sad, and I understand they have been negatively influenced by their environment and the people they have been around or are associating with.

I view being biased as a human flaw. One which is supported often by closed minded thinkers. Yes, I’m giving closed minded people credit by suggesting they are actually thinking about why they are biased in the first place.

We can all agree that at the beginning and end of the day we are all the same. Humans. No one is better than someone else, and everyone has something good to offer others. Although, sometimes you have to look a bit harder to determine what it is, I guarantee it exists.

So, is it possible to remove biases in our day to day lives either professionally or personally? Absolutely. You just have to commit to doing so. One of the ways to do this is to commit to noticing biases you might have in every moment of your day. Think about why you might have this bias. Then think about whether you can reduce or ideally eliminate it.

Imagine how much better our world would be if we were all able to see one another as equals? I’m not sure if in my lifetime this will be achieved. However, I can do my small part which is to put a spotlight on this topic. When we think, and talk about concepts, it allows us to consider the reason why we act or say the things we do.

Here are some suggestions I have for you to begin reducing or attempting to eliminate biases in your life. I know this is a huge challenge, but I am compelled to make this a better world for all of us to live in. So, this is my version of heading us in this direction.

  • Commit to really getting to know new people. Find out what motivates them. Learn what makes them happy, or what makes them disappointed. Ask enough questions to determine whether they are “Pro” people, or closed minded and unwilling to give most people a chance to get to know them, or vice versa.
  • Try not to immediately judge both people and situations. Attempt to be open minded right from the start. This applies to both what you hear and see.
  • Listen to what others are saying. Really listen to them. Ask them questions to explain when you are hearing a bias of any kind. See whether by asking them additional questions you can potentially move them to at least a neutral place in their thinking, or verbalization on the topic you are discussing.
  • Model neutrality. Do this as you are working on becoming less or unbiased, and do not verbalize or act upon ones you have.
  • Do something kind instead of being biased towards a person, or put yourself into a situation you normally would not be involved with due to your own bias.
  • Lastly, an old piece of advice which is still applicable today, is to treat others how you would want to be treated. I have practiced this my entire life, and give credit to my parents for teaching me this. It really works, and has made an enormous difference in my life.

Although I have hope I will live to see the world become an unbiased place, I am realistic about this. As you know that change can only take place if we want it to, we can all do our part by at least acknowledging our own biases, and doing our best to understand why we have them, and ultimately to let them go. Being free from biases is an incredibly lofty aspiration. However, why wouldn’t we want to aspire to something that could literally and positively change the world we live in?

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of Market Me Too.  She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Finder Coach, author of Wisdom Whisperer, and is a well-respected motivational and social influencer with a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances.

Essentially every team is dysfunctional in some way. Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and bridging dysfunctional teams (sports & business), and turning them into epic ones.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Our coaching produces repeatable, measurable and amazing results personally and professionally. Need proof? Just talk to our clients, or read through our testimonials.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

“NEW!” Guide for Teams:

Every team is dysfunctional at some point.  Click on the link below to obtain a “free guide” with (5) Proven Strategies To Turn Your Dysfunctional Team Into An Epic One

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Quieting the noise. Can you?

While I was thinking about this challenge, I came across some fascinating research. One of the research studies was a combined study partnership with Microsoft and a researcher named Gloria Mark. They based their “distraction” research on that what was referred to as “knowledge workers”, or people working in front of computers. What they determined is that on average, these people are distracted every 40 seconds when working in front of a computer. Can you relate?

From my perspective, distraction is one of the contributors to what I classify as “noise”. There are many other contributing factors to this phenomenon, and they include people causing “noise” as well. Both physical and what I express as noise in your head. The latter type of noise can be much worse, as others can’t see or hear it, yet the person dealing with it hears it loud and clear. Worse? The noise in people’s heads is not only distracting, it can also contribute to adding unnecessary stress to your body and your life. Who needs this? Aggh… No one.

In speaking recently to a high-profile sports team coach, we were talking about how noise is a large challenge for the coaches to contend with their athletes dealing with it. We also talked about how this “noise” has been getting louder over the last decade, and that coaches are not the only ones contending with having to manage “noise”. Managers and leaders in non-sports industries are challenged with this too.

Staying on the concept of athletes, the noise is coming from many different sources. However, the leading source is from the people associated with them (e.g., family, agents, friends, the press, other types of coaches who are focused on their physical body, but not their minds). This is followed by the social media pressure and scrutiny they may or may not be aware of.

Additional contributing factors to “mind noise pollution” is the athletes’ perception of how they are performing, and their ability to have focus, clear communication and actual productivity.

Although sports performance statistics can help to inform athletes and their coaches, similar to statistics business people would leverage to measure performance, there are always grey areas associated with the data. Why? Because many of the areas which contribute to mind noise pollution are not being measured. For instance, most athletes and workers are not taking their blood pressure to see how stressed they are throughout the day. Yes, this could be measured, but it typically isn’t.

We also know that a certain degree of stress can help with productivity and motivation. But similar to good and bad cholesterol, it needs to be the right type of stress. Measuring the stress in our minds isn’t something we can presently do well, but yet, it’s something we can address to help reduce the mind noise. How?

Here are some examples of what I help coaches and managers/leaders with to partner with them in quieting the mind noise pollution.

  • Watch a person’s body language. It’s incredible what telltale signs it gives away, often without us knowing this is happening.
  • Do you know how people like to receive feedback? Have you asked them? If they are an athlete, do you know whether they are motivated or become unmotivated when you yell at them? If they are a professional, do they mind being singled out publicly to be given feedback, or do they prefer to hear this during a private conversation?
  • Does the athlete or professional feel like they are truly part of the team they are on? Do you know whether they do? Have you asked. You might be surprised by their answer. Hint, they might not tell you how they really feel, but I guarantee you their body language will.
  • Are you fully helping them to leverage the talents they are bringing to the team? How would you rate your skill as a coach, manager or leader on a scale of 1-5 (5 being the best)? If you were to ask the athlete or professional, do you think your ratings would match?
  • Lots of attention is paid to our physical well-being, independent of whether you are an athlete or professional. Are you personally, or is your coach, manager or leader doing anything to help address quieting the noise in your mind? Are they helping to reduce distractions, remove barriers which prevent you from being successful on a team or on a project? Are they giving you enough “breathing space” to think, especially if you are the type of person who requires time to ponder and digest what you heard before you can act upon it?
  • Depending on the situation, is your coach, manager or leader providing alternative methods to convey information to you (e.g., providing visuals, videos, written and auditory communication)? If the right method of delivering information isn’t selected, or a combination of it is not applied, this also contributes to mind noise, as the person/athlete will have a more difficult time processing the information because it’s not in a format which works best for them.

If you haven’t thought about what you can do to help either yourself or the people you coach and lead how to quiet their mind noise, I strongly suggest you do so. Why? Because you’ll see many positive benefits when you do, as I have seen this happen hundreds, if not thousands of times. Give it a try, or give me a call to help you.

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of Market Me Too.  She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Finder Coach, author of Wisdom Whisperer, and is a well-respected motivational and social influencer with a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances.

Essentially every team is dysfunctional in some way. Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and bridging dysfunctional teams (sports & business), and turning them into epic ones.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Our coaching produces repeatable, measurable and amazing results personally and professionally. Need proof? Just talk to our clients, or read through our testimonials.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

“NEW!” Guide for Teams:

Every team is dysfunctional at some point.  Click on the link below to obtain a “free guide” with (5) Proven Strategies To Turn Your Dysfunctional Team Into An Epic One

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Are you bored? Or boring?

I have a source of irritation to tell you about. It’s when I hear someone say they are bored. When I hear this, I automatically think how is this possible? Sure, you might hear young kids say this, but when I hear this from a teenager or anyone older, I feel badly for them. Why? Because they don’t seem to understand it’s their own fault they are bored.

Why do I think no one should be bored? It’s simple. There are too many choices of things to do to possibly be bored. You know I love lists, so naturally I’ll be providing some G-rated options in case your mind is drawing a blank on what you can do to avoid boredom. Seriously, I can’t imagine how it would even be possible to be bored. Can you relate?

If you can’t relate to how I find it impossible to be bored, then I am going to challenge your thinking about this. We all know there are plenty of things we should be doing to be productive each day, and yes, I understand some people are far more productive than others.

For those of you who fall into the former category, you have even less of an excuse to utter the words “I’m bored”. Yes, it might be possible to be bored for short periods of time, say for example when you are sitting in grid-lock traffic. However, this is a perfect time to listen to music or give someone a call. Notice how I didn’t include texting, as in many states it is illegal to do so while driving, and possibly talk on the phone too.

So, if you are guilty of uttering the words ‘I’m bored”, consider if you really are. Why? Because for one thing, I can tell you are not fully leveraging your brain power to come up with more than one or two things you could be doing instead. Even when we are in situations when we are waiting for someone or something to happen, we can still engage ourselves in a productive activity. The first thing which comes to my mind is reading or listening to a Podcast.

Recently at the gym I found myself less enthused when I was working out on the resistance bike. Typically, I would listen to upbeat music while I’m biking, but I found when I switched to listening to podcasts from Ted Talks, the time on the bike flew by much faster. I think it is because my mind is more engaged when I am listening to the fascinating stories being told. The best part for me is that I always learn something new from each podcast.

Going back to the question of whether you might in fact be boring if you often find yourself to be bored, is another concept I want you to give some thought to. For instance, when you are in conversation with other people, are you only talking about other people, or are you in fact sharing information about something interesting you learned? Many people who chronically talk about other people are often the ones who would claim to be bored.

How do I know this? It’s because in the past I felt surrounded by people who often expressed this out loud. When I realized these were not the type of people I wanted to be associated with, I quickly made a conscious decision to find different people to interact with. What a fabulous decision this was! Are you possibly trapped in this type of web?

Perhaps you have heard of the expression relating to interesting people talk? What do they do differently? They talk about a variety of subjects versus people.  If you are guilty of this, take some time to think about why you do this. It’s not that hard to course correct on this behavior style. The first step is to be become aware of the fact you are doing this.

Now, as promised, here is a list of things you can do if you claim to be bored, and which won’t cost you much money. Not having money shouldn’t ever be an excuse for being bored, and I’m sure you have also heard the expression “creativity is the mother of invention.” It doesn’t cost money to be creative, so let’s get to the list to start you off in your non-bored direction.

  • Plan something. Yes, literally anything. It could be a party, it could be a trip, it could be putting together a list of books you want to read, or people you want to meet.
  • Challenge yourself to learn how to play an instrument, or another one if you already know how to play one.
  • Another challenge would be to learn how to speak another language, and to be at a conversational level within a period of time you set the goal for.
  • Everyone needs to eat. Are you good at cooking? I’m not. So, I have challenged myself to become a better cook, and to cook with a goal of making healthy food.
  • Do you have a hobby? Someone recently asked me if I had one. I had to think about whether I did. I’m not sure if it is a hobby, but I love looking at residential real estate, and designing rooms on-line. Ok, my other and secret hobby is finding the perfect IPA beer. So far, Lunch from the Maine Beer Company is my favorite one.
  • If you have any extra time, look for an organization you can donate and volunteer your time to. This can be really rewarding, and your time is more precious than money.

I could go on with countless more ideas, but you get the idea. When you are doing things which are productive, it provides you with a way to valuably spend your time. You also won’t be talking about other people, and essentially you will be building up your conversation list to become a more interesting person. Not the boring one none of us wants to be classified as.

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of Market Me Too.  She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Finder Coach, author of Wisdom Whisperer, and is a well-respected motivational and social influencer with a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances.

Essentially every team is dysfunctional in some way. Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and bridging dysfunctional teams (sports & business), and turning them into epic ones.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Our coaching produces repeatable, measurable and amazing results personally and professionally. Need proof? Just talk to our clients, or read through our testimonials.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

“NEW!” Guide for Teams:

Every team is dysfunctional at some point.  Click on the link below to obtain a “free guide” with (5) Proven Strategies To Turn Your Dysfunctional Team Into An Epic One

 

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Team Bonding. Has yours?

Bonding people together requires a mix of art and science. Especially when they are not related, and in particular when they are on a team, perhaps one that is a new team, or one that is in a constant state of change. I’m referring to both work and sports teams, and I’m sure everyone reading this has been on at least one of these.

When you think of the elements which make up a strong team, what’s the first thing that comes to mind? Is it great chemistry? Is it the leader of the team who helps glue the team together? Or, perhaps it’s a combination of these items and a number of other things. Does this seem like the making of a recipe? Yes, it quite possibly is, but one which has ingredients which will be different for each team.

The best teams I have interacted with, have one thing in common at their core. It’s not something that happens overnight…although it can happen quickly in certain situations. It’s respect. The kind of respect for each other and their individual talents and contributions. When respect for talents is added into the team dynamics, it makes the team stronger than the sum of its parts. I know you have heard this expression before. It’s true, and appropriate in this example.

How do we find out about other people’s talents on our team? There are a number of ways to do so, but as a Gallup StrengthsFinder Coach, I would be remiss if I didn’t tell you how I go about doing this. For the sake of not making any assumptions, I’m going to presume not everyone has heard of Gallup StrengthsFinder Survey.

To establish its credibility, this survey has been in existence for over 50 years, and over 22 million people on this planet have taken it to determine what their strengths are. There are also volumes of scientific research behind how the survey was developed. It is also one of the tools StrengthsFinder Coaches utilize to find out what people’s individual strengths are, out of a possible list of 34 of them.

By taking the StrengthsFinder Survey, and which takes about 30 minutes to complete, each person upon completion of taking the survey can determine at a minimum what their Top 5 Strengths are. Most people will use their Top 10 Strengths, and the Strengths listed sub number ten are not a person’s core strengths.

In one hundred percent of the team scenarios I have applied the StrengthsFinder Survey to determine the individual members of the team’s strengths, the results of the team members finding out about their own and their team members strengths are has always been remarkable. I typically tell people a Team Strengths reveal is one of my favorite days, as this is one of the methods utilized to bond a team of any type together, even families.

Prior to knowing what their strengths are, some people might have an idea what some of them are, but more often than you might imagine they are surprised to find out what their top one or two are. Why? Mainly because their top strengths are so strong, they often take them for granted, and presume others must be able to do what they do so easily with that strength too.

Not true, especially since the chance of having the same strength order as another person is 1 in 34 million. That’s right. The odds are very low you will encounter someone in your lifetime with the same strengths order you have. Think of the strengths order as being similar to a thumb print and its uniqueness.

When I’m working with families, I often see patterns of common strengths. Sometimes the strength is in the same order as the parent or a sibling. However, I have also seen families that do not have any of their Top 5 Strengths in common.

Being able to help teams bond together via the application of knowing how to leverage the Gallup StrengthsFinder survey and its results per person has literally been life changing for me. So much so, that I pivoted my career experience to focus it in the direction of exclusively working with teams. Having this focus allows me to help them do achieve remarkable things they are not yet aware of is possible of accomplishing.

I feel very fortunate to have discovered my passion for helping and working with teams to make them more amazing than they can imagine, and the more teams I work with, the more absolute magic and examples I have as proof that a bonded team is the most ideal team anyone could ever be on. Has your team bonded yet?

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of Market Me Too.  She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Finder Coach, author of Wisdom Whisperer, and is a well-respected motivational and social influencer with a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances.

Essentially every team is dysfunctional in some way. Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and bridging dysfunctional teams (sports & business), and turning them into epic ones.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Our coaching produces repeatable, measurable and amazing results personally and professionally. Need proof? Just talk to our clients, or read through our testimonials.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

“NEW!” Guide for Teams:

Every team is dysfunctional at some point.  Click on the link below to obtain a “free guide” with (5) Proven Strategies To Turn Your Dysfunctional Team Into An Epic One

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Is having ADHD or ADD a misunderstood talent?

The amount of judging that goes on within our society is constantly occurring. Throw in any topic with relates to mental health or a disorder, and there is still a strong and negative bias towards anyone who is perceived to have had, or is dealing with neurological concerns. What a shame, and when will we be able to stop looking at developmental health from a negative perspective? Hopefully soon.

Two of the neurological health disorder topics I want to start casting a positive light on are Attention Deficit Hyper Active Disorder (ADHD) and Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD).  Why do I want to cast a positive light on these disorders? My reason is because I have worked with so many impressive people who have one or both. Many of them have been salespeople, and some are top athletes on sports teams. All of them are remarkable people, yet part of them feels disconnected and often ashamed of admitting they suffer from their neurological health challenge.

No one should be ashamed of something which if looked at differently, could in fact be a misunderstood talent. When I have studied the common characteristics of people who have ADHD or ADD, most of them have incredible talent.  For instance, many of them are highly intelligent and competitive, are driven to succeed despite any odds against them, and have off the charts emotional intelligence.

The people who have told me they have ADHD or ADD did not surprise me with this information, and sadly many of them were apologetic for doing so. What may have come as a surprise to the people who revealed their neurological challenge to me was that I told them I viewed this as a talent or gift. Most had never had someone tell them this. However, I have witnessed amazing outcomes and results of professionals and athletes when they were able to harness their mind and focus on what needed to be accomplished.

Yes, many of the people who told me they have one or both of the attention challenges take medication. They also tell me without it they struggle with being able to do their job or focus on their athleticism. I’m sure the first time they took the medication which helped them to focus must have felt similar to someone putting on their first prescription glasses for the first time.

The thing which bothers me the most about people who are challenged with not being able to focus well, is the stigma they feel and the burden of having to hide this. One of the best ways to take the negative power away from stigmas or negative topics is to openly talk about them.

Instead of having a negative perception of people who are challenged with lack of focus and extra energy than others, what if we took time to better understand how to help them? Perhaps we could start with not being dismissive of people who lack focus and have extra energy. Or, we could take time to better understand that not being able to focus or having extra misdirected energy can be focused and channeled into professional or athletic roles which will allow them to excel.

I’m not a betting type of person, but I guarantee you that some of your most talented, competent and accomplished people either in your organization or on your sports team have ADHD or ADD. We need to highlight these individuals who are proud of the fact they have these neurological challenges.

I chose the word challenge intentionally. Why? Because, although medically ADHD or ADD is considered a disorder, or what some medical practitioners refer to as a behavior disorder, both can be positively impacted with diet, exercise, reducing stress and also responsibly administered and monitored medication.

Let’s celebrate and honor all of the people out there who have come forward and revealed they have ADHD or ADD, and add me to the list of people to celebrate and honor them.

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of Market Me Too.  She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Finder Coach, author of Wisdom Whisperer, and is a well-respected motivational and social influencer with a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances.

Essentially every team is dysfunctional in some way. Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and bridging dysfunctional teams (sports & business), and turning them into epic ones.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Our coaching produces repeatable, measurable and amazing results personally and professionally. Need proof? Just talk to our clients, or read through our testimonials.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

“NEW!” Guide for Teams:

Every team is dysfunctional at some point.  Click on the link below to obtain a “free guide” with (5) Proven Strategies To Turn Your Dysfunctional Team Into An Epic One