Market Me Too

August 17, 2020August 16, 2020

Stop chasing, and walk away.

I often wonder what it would be like to not be in pursuit of something. It’s difficult for me to imagine this, as I have always been the type of person who is pursuing something. Yes, it takes energy and drive to pursue something, and sometimes it is a team pursuit. The team pursuits can provide as much satisfaction as solo ones, but it takes more coordination and someone to lead the effort.

This morning I was really excited about the pursuit of a conversation I was going to have with someone. Someone I really admired, and was looking to provide me with some advice. However, the conversation went in a completely different direction than I anticipated. In fact, instead of it being an inspirational conversation, it was the exact opposite experience. Was I caught off guard by this? Absolutely. Did it make me think about whether the outcome could have been different? Yes, but it also made me rethink what I was pursuing, in a good way.

Consider a time when you were pursuing something. Did you have an air tight strategy of going after what you wanted to achieve? Perhaps you did, or maybe it was a casually thought out plan. Or, one with a limited amount of focus, potentially not setting you up to succeed. Regardless of which of these scenarios your example falls into, it is a strong reminder of the importance of understanding how much or how little of an outcome you might have the ability to impact.

In the case of my intentionally vague example above, I’m not sharing the details for a reason. My reason is I want you to be open to thinking about why and how you chase people, opportunities or any other thing that can be chased. This isn’t a topic which is often or overtly talked about, but instead it is inferred during conversations, especially business, sales or romantic ones.

When you think about having been pursued or chased by someone or something, were you relieved when the chase was over? Or, did you in fact enjoy the pursuit and attention? If you have been the pursuer, has it always been worth it once you achieved your goal or the pursuit you were after? Of course, this could be a rhetorical question, but I’m asking it for the sake of consideration.

It’s entirely possible some people are unaware of the fact they are chasing. Worse? The person or situation they are chasing after isn’t interested in what they have to offer, either now or ever. Sometimes it’s a timing thing, which is why the pursuit doesn’t end up with the results the pursuer was hoping for. Other times, there simply isn’t a strong match between what is being offered, and what is needed. Again, this could be a timing issue, and you will need to be a good judge of which it is.

So, would I suggest to someone they should stop chasing what it is they are pursuing and walk away? The real answer is that it depends. It depends on so many different things. Here’s my take on some of the reasons to think about, or questions to ask yourself to determine whether to keep pursing or stop chasing.

Have you done enough research to know whether what you are pursing is something you could be successful at?
Have you invested enough time in understanding the person, activity or opportunity you are pursuing? Only you know the answer to this, and it might be hard to face up to the fact you have not.
You are going to need to trust your gut instinct on whether you should keep pursuing and going after what you want, or determine it’s time to stop doing so.
If money, love, family or good health will be negatively impacted by what you are pursuing, it might be time to reconsider your pursuit.
Is what you are pursuing a dream?
Does your pursuit only make sense to you? If required, would you be able to rationally explain your pursuit?
Are others in jeopardy of your pursuits, or are your pursuits intended to make your or others’ lives or circumstances better?
Consider what is really driving your pursuit. Is it ego, money, happiness, pride, passion for success as defined by your own definition of it, love or something else?
Is the person or situation you are pursuing going to have a significant positive impact on your life or circumstances? Be realistic, as only you can answer this question.
At what point will you realize you need to stop chasing and pursuing the person or opportunity? Give yourself a timeline to give your best shot at having success, and if the time comes to the point you said you will end your pursuit, do so. Yes, this will be really hard to do, but it doesn’t mean you can’t pursue your opportunity again in the future.

As an eternal optimist, it’s difficult for me to tell someone not to pursue someone or something they are passionate about. However, I’m also a realist and understand that sometimes in order to achieve what we want to, we need to stop chasing for a while. Even walk away to improve our timing or other factors which are preventing us from being pursuit successful. The saying “timing is everything” has a great deal of merit. Let it work in your favor.

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of Market Me Too.She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Finder Coach, author of two business books (e.g., Wisdom Whisperer, Evolve! With the Wisdom Whisperer), and is a well-respected motivational and social influencer with a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances. She also is the creator and Host of a TV Show and Podcast called Murf & E Unfiltered – Zero BS Biz Talk.

Essentially every team is dysfunctional in some way. Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and bridging dysfunctional teams (sports & business), and turning them into epic ones.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Our coaching produces repeatable, measurable and amazing results personally and professionally. Need proof? Just talk to our clients, or read through our testimonials.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

“NEW!” Guide for Teams:

Every team is dysfunctional at some point. Click on the link below to obtain a “free guide” with (5) Proven Strategies To Turn Your Dysfunctional Team Into An Epic One

August 10, 2020August 10, 2020

Are you in career survival mode? Many are.

If you are like the majority of the people I talk to, your career is similar to the ocean. What I mean by this is that there is an ebb and flow of when and how often you are satisfied with your current job, or the career you are in.

Surprisingly, many people end up in a career they didn’t intend to be in. Or worse, stay in the one they don’t desire to be in. How does this happen? In a word. Life. Even the people who carefully plot out what they think will be the perfect career for them might not calculate this decision perfectly. If this happened to you, hang in there, as I’ll be sharing some ways to cope, and perhaps thrive again in your present or future and different career.

Speaking of thriving, no one signs-up for a career where the best they can hope for is to be in survival mode. Sometimes survival mode happens in one’s career sooner than they anticipate. If you are one of the fortunate ones and have not experienced this, congratulations! You are in the minority, and should consider yourself fortunate. However, a large percentage of people will find themselves in career survival mode at some point.

What does it mean to be in career survival mode? It’s similar to when you lose motivation about the very thing you are either passionate about, or never dreamed you would become less than enamored with. Other what I’ll refer to as ‘symptoms’, are lethargy, less patience, you can’t seem to think of other options, and you are feeling trapped without an exit sign anywhere in sight. Do any of these “symptoms’ describe how you feel, or have felt before?

Yes, generally, others will notice you are in career survival mode. Although some people are experts at acting as if everything is fine. In my opinion, the energy that it takes to do this isn’t worth the effort. I would prefer to see someone invest their energy into figuring out a better career for them to be in.

I professionally work with people and teams (e.g., work & sports) on helping them to leverage and harness their natural talents every day. Because of this focus, I would be remiss in not mentioning that I would want to see everyone focused on knowing and applying their strengths towards the career or careers which would best suit them. Unfortunately, not everyone has been made aware of the advantages of knowing what their top strengths are when they are making their initial career choice decisions. I certainly wish everyone did.

As a matter of fact, one of my own career passions is to have as many people I come in contact with learn what their Top 5 Strengths are. I know you are smiling right now if you know me, and have learned what your strengths are because of my passion for you to know them.

However, hang with me for a moment on this thought, and imagine if we started out with this knowledge at a much earlier age? I can tell you that I might have ended up in a different career, but the one I initially choose seemed to suit me for a number of decades. It was marketing, in case you didn’t know this.

If you are currently in career survival mode, as promised, here are some suggestions and thoughts for you to consider, and potentially take action on to get yourself out of being in this mode.

Consider how you ended up in the career you are in. Was it by choice, or did someone steer you in that direction?
If you were given the opportunity to pick a new career starting tomorrow, have you given thought about what it would be?
If you could change your career, do you think you would?
Be honest with yourself. Are you more satisfied with complaining about how much you do not like the career you are in, versus taking action to do something about this?
Is it possible you are currently in a burn-out mode from not being able to, or taking any time off?
Have you kept up with the educational demands of your career? This may not apply to everyone, but if it applies to you, perhaps you are in survival mode because you have not kept up with the knowledge and expertise needed to thrive in your role. Maybe you couldn’t afford to do this, either monetarily or because of lack of time and other obligations. Or, perhaps both and other contributing factors.
Some careers are more demanding than others from a physical, emotional and intellectual perspective. Perhaps all three, or more! Is it possible to reduce the level of any of these factors to a more acceptable level?
What if you looked at your current career from a different perspective? Is there a new lens you can look at it, and which would re-energize you to be in it? Make a list of the things you like and dislike about your job or career. Is one longer, or could if you had a different perspective add more items to the “like” category?
Ask people in your circle of influence what other career they could envision you in. Make sure you ask people who know you really well, and can see you from a multi-dimensional perspective.
Regardless of your age, and how long you have been in your current career, would it be possible to shadow someone who appears to be in your desired career? Or, perhaps to talk to them about how they ended up in this career, and why they made the decision to pursue it? You might find clues about whether this may or may not be the next potential career for you to consider exploring or aiming to be in.

As an eternal optimist, I can always see the upside of every situation. In the case of experiencing career burnout, I look at this situation as temporary. Life moves fast, and circumstances can change quickly. The trick is to focus on knowing this, and realizing that even though your situation may seem permanent, it isn’t. As my Mom likes to say “this too shall pass.” Hang in there, you will survive.

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of Market Me Too. She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Finder Coach, author of two business books (e.g., Wisdom Whisperer, Evolve! With the Wisdom Whisperer), and is a well-respected motivational and social influencer with a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances. She also is the creator and Host of a TV Show and Podcast called Murf & E Unfiltered – Zero BS Biz Talk.

Essentially every team is dysfunctional in some way. Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and bridging dysfunctional teams (sports & business), and turning them into epic ones.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

“NEW!” Guide for Teams:

Every team is dysfunctional at some point. Click on the link below to obtain a “free guide” with (5) Proven Strategies To Turn Your Dysfunctional Team Into An Epic One

August 3, 2020August 3, 2020

Setting Expectations

Any time you are about to embark upon anything, pause for a moment. Ask yourself if both you and the person or parties involved with the assignment are truly on the same page. That you agree to what the end results and deliverables are. Doing this before you begin, greatly improves the chances of success. Although, as most of us know from first-hand experience, failing sometimes is exactly what you need to do from time to time.

Tip Number One: Put expectations in writing. That eliminates any ambiguity that can result from verbal agreements. This is one of the reasons all contracts are put into writing. As the written agreements are passed between the parties, there is the opportunity to go back and forth and edit the document so everyone is in agreement with what the outcome will be. This will mitigate the risk of any unplanned and negative surprises.

When written agreements are being formalized, allow a few days to let the document breathe before making the final edits. Taking time to separate yourself from the document details for a day or two will allow you to see how complete the communication is, or what critical elements may have been overlooked.

One of the projects I took on shortly after accepting a marketing role at a technology company, included reviewing the contracts and projects associated with trade shows to which the previous job holder had committed.

I determined there was one show for which the person had signed a contract nine months earlier. This meant I had just three months to work on a project that normally would take about six to eight months of preparation.

Since I knew how much work was involved, and withdrawing from the contract was not financially feasible, I had to determine the best way to set the right expectations for my boss about how our company was going to successfully exhibit at this trade show.

The first thing I did was to create a schedule working backwards, with a realistic timeline about what I could accomplish in three months. Having years of experience allowed me to be able to design a realistic strategic execution plan, but I knew I was going to need more help to pull this off.

Part of putting the working execution schedule together included communicating that I would need additional budget to hire a part-time person to help me with the tactical work, as I focused on the strategic portion and branding aspects.

By literally detailing almost every day what elements of the project would need to be accomplished, my boss was satisfied with understanding what would be realistic to achieve in the timeframe, and we were able to negotiate from the plan.

My reverse schedule also included, in writing, which specific elements of this project were not feasible. We also shared this detailed plan with the executive management and sales teams, and obtained their support so everyone was in agreement with the final expectations.

Thanks to a solid and agreed-to up front contract with my boss, the executive management, and sales team, by the time we were on the trade show exhibit floor, everyone was pleased. The best part is the fact I over delivered on the initial expectations I had set by 200%. What’s more, I won a company award for flawless execution of a project most people thought was impossible to pull off.

The key element associated with the success of this project was keeping everyone on the big-picture team aligned from the beginning on what could be realistically achieved, and allowing everyone to do their part to help make the project successful. In essence, this was also an example of supreme collaboration, with the underpinning of setting proper expectations up front.

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of Market Me Too. She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Finder Coach, author of two business books (e.g., Wisdom Whisperer, Evolve! With the Wisdom Whisperer), and is a well-respected motivational and social influencer with a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances. She also is the creator and Host of a TV Show and Podcast called Murf & E Unfiltered – Zero BS Biz Talk.

Essentially every team is dysfunctional in some way. Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and bridging dysfunctional teams (sports & business), and turning them into epic ones.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

“NEW!” Guide for Teams:

Every team is dysfunctional at some point. Click on the link below to obtain a “free guide” with (5) Proven Strategies To Turn Your Dysfunctional Team Into An Epic One

July 27, 2020

Heads up! Everyone is looking down.

Quality time. You hear people talking about this all the time. Most of the time they are referring to it as a long-lost art. Something they used to have more of, or wish they had more of. Can you relate?

No matter where I go when I’m outside of my home; and yes, this happens at my home too, there is always bound to be someone looking down at their phone. I’m not a Chiropractor, but I suspect they see many people in their office due to issues with people that have some sort of neck issue related to looking down all the time.

There have been studies to suggest that many of the applications in our phones are designed to have an addictive component to them. In the software and marketing world, it’s referred to as a phenomenon of being “sticky”. Having spent decades in software marketing, I could bore you to tears on this concept, but I will spare you from these gory details. You don’t have to be a genius to understand how you have probably experienced this “sticky” concept as recently as today.

I can’t say I like seeing my phone remind me at the end of the week via a push notification about how many average hours I spent using my phone, but I’m always surprised by the number. Not in a good way, so I’m not proclaiming to be fabulous at not looking down at my phone like everyone else. However, I do make a conscious decision that when I am out with people and engaging with them, that I put my phone away. To actually engage with them!

For those who are not extroverts, their phone in social settings actually serves as a force field to shield them from feeling uncomfortable. Or, at least this is my perception of how it can help them to feel less anxious or shy. However, although having your phone with you in social settings and using it might make you feel more comfortable, I guarantee people are noticing you are engaging more with your phone than the people around you.

In some respects, we have moved closer to a society of it becoming acceptable to zone in on our phones in social settings. My opinion is that we are seemingly hitting the ignore button with our surroundings. When I think ahead in terms of the impact this is having, or will have on our society from a long-term basis, I’m not seeing a pretty picture.

The term social isolation comes to mind when I see groups of people together who should in fact be interacting with one another; both at work and in social situations, yet they are not doing this. By nature, we are social creatures. Although our phones allow us to be social in a different way with more people, it is via a method which is one step removed from physically interacting. Yes, you might get the sense you are having positive interactions with people in your digital world, but at the same time, you are not able to gain the benefit of an in-person interaction. I’ll refer to an in-person interaction as a multi-dimensional one.

Multi-dimensional interactions with “live” people are what help us to feel less social isolation. However, it can take more effort, and bravery to interact with people, especially ones you may not know that well. However, if we continue to increase the amount of time in front of our screens, and don’t flex our actual social interaction muscles, I’m concerned about our future abilities to be able to do this well are being severely compromised.

In the spirit of offering some solutions to reducing our screen time and heads down phenomenon, here are some suggestions to consider implementing if you find yourself to be part of our heads down society.

Consider using your phone as a tool to find interesting topics you can read about, and then discuss with others around you. Naturally you should take into consideration the people in your present environment so the topics you discuss are relevant or at least potentially intriguing.
Challenge yourself for one week with limiting your time in front of your phone by as few as 5 minutes and up to 30 minutes per day. Use this time to do something else, ideally something productive or creative.
Actually, be aware and record what you are doing instead of looking at your phone. This is equivalent to when you work with a dietitian and they ask you to record everything you eat during the course of a day. Sometimes we are unaware of the amount of time we are spending on our phones, or calories we are consuming.
If you are in a social setting and see someone else on their phone, go over to them and strike up a conversation with them. Perhaps you could ask them something related to their phone (e.g., Do they like the current one they have?). Or, you could ask them about what was the most interesting thing they have done lately that did not involve having their phone in use?
Instead of looking down at your phone, and it happens to be dark outside, consider downloading a star finder application to use your phone to learn about astrology and the stars. Consider doing this activity with another person so you are leveraging your phone for a more social purpose, while looking up!

I’ll be leveraging my own advice this week, and I hope that some of my suggestions will be useful to you too. Let’s all commit to becoming better and aware of the importance of reducing our screen time. There are so many benefits to spending less time on our phones, do you agree?

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of Market Me Too. She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Finder Coach, author of two business books (e.g., Wisdom Whisperer, Evolve! With the Wisdom Whisperer), and is a well-respected motivational and social influencer with a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances. She also is the creator and Host of a TV Show and Podcast called Murf & E Unfiltered – Zero BS Biz Talk.

Essentially every team is dysfunctional in some way. Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and bridging dysfunctional teams (sports & business), and turning them into epic ones.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

“NEW!” Guide for Teams:

Every team is dysfunctional at some point. Click on the link below to obtain a “free guide” with (5) Proven Strategies To Turn Your Dysfunctional Team Into An Epic One

July 20, 2020

What’s behind that look? Judging other people’s reactions.

Our facial expressions can tell others a great deal about what we are thinking. Although some people have mastered what is referred to as a “poker face”, meaning they are not giving away anything via their facial expressions about what they are thinking. This takes practice to accomplish, and in certain instances can be a great skill to have.

Since most people have not mastered the art of perfecting a “poker face”, it can be important for them to be aware of what their facial expressions are revealing about them. This is especially true in situations involving a negotiation. What people may not be aware of is how much their facial expressions, or aspects of their body language involving even their neck and hand movements can work in their favor, or against them.

Have you ever been interviewing someone and noticed how red their neck and face turns? This is typically a reaction to being nervous, and this does not happen to everyone. However, for those who it happens to, it can work against them, even if they are fully confident with the conversation they are having. Unfortunately, those who have this happen to them may not be aware of the fact this is occurring, and it’s unlikely their interviewer will share this fact with them.

Is it possible to know if your face and neck turn red, and give away the fact you are nervous? Yes, it is. I’m also certain that others who know you well have potentially seen this occur before when you have been in a conversation with them that invoked a feeling of insecurity. If this happens to you, can you do anything about stopping this from happening? Potentially. However, you will need to practice being aware of situations which make you nervous.

When you feel nervous, your breathing pattern starts to change, and this is one of the factors which can cause your skin to turn red. This may sound elementary, but if you want to avoid giving your nervousness away from your red and blotchy facial and neck areas, you are going to have to practice relaxing breathing techniques. There are many places on the internet you can look to find out how to do this.

Another common facial expression that people do not realize they are projecting is looking concerned, or potentially upset. One way to see if you come across with these common facial expressions, is to look in a mirror to see what your face looks like. For instance, conjure an instance when you are thinking of being concerned, or potentially upset or mad at someone. Now, think of how your facial muscles are feeling, and take note of this. You will need to know this muscle combination to realize you might be making these facial expressions when you are talking to someone.

If others have told you that you often look either distracted or uninterested, you will need to work on making sure you are not having these expressions working against you. Again, a way to see what these facial looks are is to mimic what you think your facial expression is projecting when you are feeling these emotions. When you falsely come across with either being disinterested or distracted, this can work against you in both negotiation scenarios, or anytime you are trying to express you are fully engaged and actually interested in the conversation you are having. Those who have ADHD or focus challenges will need to work harder at making sure these lack of focus tendencies is not working against them.

When you are able to fully master the art of both understanding how to control your own facial expressions and properly interpret those of others, you will be moving towards a new level of being able to communicate with others. There are significant benefits of mastering and interpreting and managing your own facial expressions. Several of them are that you will become a stronger negotiator, appear to be a better listener, and you will gain a perceivably heightened sense of communication command.

Leaders in particular need to understand the nuances of facial communications, how to interpret them, and how to master the ability to showcase the proper facial expressions, and mask those which do not serve them or others well.

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of MarketMe Too. She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, author of Wisdom Whisperer, and is a well-respected motivational and social influencer who has a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances.

Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and bridging teams (sports & business). What does this do for our clients? It provides them with an acceleration boost to reach their goals sooner, and interact with a renewed efficiency, focus and energy level.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.