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How are your people management skills?

Thinking back to the first time I was responsible for managing someone, I remember feeling a tremendous sense of being the best boss possible boss I could be. This of course was despite my limited experience in this area. However, when I factored in thinking about the myriad of opportunities to practice managing someone, while being the boss, it became less of an intimidating situation. Perhaps for both of us.

Fast forward in time close to thirty years since having first managed the person I was referring to. The fact I recently heard from this person after three decades was an incredible moment, and not one I expected to occur. What was even more surprising was the fact this person sent me a thank you note for being their boss! It goes to show you there is no time limit on thanking someone, and this is a topic I have previously written about.

In the note from the person I first managed, they shared with me that I was a highly supportive and nurturing boss, and that they were surprised I took a chance on hiring them. They also commented on how hiring them changed their life, and influenced the career direction they ended up pursuing. I never knew any of these facts until recently. My point is that even when I was a freshly minted boss, it was possible to have a positive impact on managing someone and their career.

Until I received the email via a LinkedIn message from this person, I had not considered how early in my career my people management skills would continue to be an asset to both me, and the people I have had the responsibility and honor of managing. Being completely honest, there were times when I recall managing this person that I was unsure of whether I was able to properly guide them. However, each time I felt that way, I had a conversation with myself to remind me that managing someone is actually a two-way process. This made me feel much better when I acknowledged that I was only half of the equation and the outcome results.

When I stopped to consider where I sourced my own people management skills from, I would have to say some of them were modeled by my parents. For the first five to six years of my career, I also learned through observing my bosses how to manage others. Of course, some of my bosses were far better at people management skills than others. Understanding both optimal and sub optimal ways of applying or learning these skills will serve you equally well.

Below are some of my acquired and own methods for how to improve your people management skills.

  • This can apply to both work and life situations, and is a foundational piece of advice to launch from. I know you have heard this before, but it’s not always practiced as well as it should be. Without exception, always treat the person you are managing the way you would want to be treated.
  • People are constantly surprising us with what they do and say. Sometimes this is a positive experience, but if it’s not, consider asking the person “Why did they do or say what they did?” When you ask someone to provide insight to better understand their behavior, it generally offers a teachable moment for you to help them see how they could have handled the situation differently.
  • How often do you praise someone? Often times managers neglect considering how a simple thank you, or positive acknowledgment of a small accomplishment can make someone’s day.
  • Have you considered what adjectives people would use to describe your human engagement skills? Sometimes our perceptions are quite different than the reality of how we are appearing to interact with others. Chances are if this is the case, you may not be aware that this is an area for course correction. If this is a problem area for you, it could also be why you have not, or might not advance into upper management roles.
  • Consider what you have done either in the past, or recently to improve your people management skills. Have you proactively worked on being self-aware of the importance of doing this?
  • Think about people who you would classify as having naturally gifted abilities in managing other people well. Is it possible for you to be mentored by them? Remember the importance of having a mentor, and this applies to all stages of your career. 
  • There are tremendous benefits granted to those who master being highly skilled people managers. They are often fast tracked in their careers, are more satisfied professionally with their roles, have a larger professional network to tap into when they need to do so, and are considered for roles over other people who might be more qualified technically, but are lacking in their human management skills.

This is a rich and ever evolving topic. It is also a subject that you will always benefit from any investment you make in yourself to improve how you interact with others, either personally or professionally.

Tags: #Success #Mentorship #PeopleManagementSkills #Business #Howtodevelopyourpeoplemanagementskills #Business #Sales #Management #Leadership #HumanResources #HumanCapital #Tipsonhowtoimprovepeoplemanagementskills #Strategy

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Being friendly. Are you really?

I’m sure many of you have experienced the passing of one of your furry loved ones. Our furry loved one passed away this week. His name was Ollie, and he was a nine-year-old Goldendoodle. Ollie was by my side the majority of any day. Family, friends and clients all knew about Ollie and his many entertaining idiosyncrasies. My favorite one was his ability to walk upstairs backwards, and yes, we have this on video.  

Never did I imagine how gut wrenchingly sad I would feel after Ollie passed. Of course, the reality is I didn’t ever want to think about this day happening. Who would?

As I was reflecting on Ollie’s life, I thought about one of the aspects of his personality that was so endearing. It was the fact he was always happy, and happy to see you. Even if he just saw you five minutes ago and you left the room and came back. He also knew when you needed to be cheered up, and precisely how to do so. This is a remarkable quality that he had, and I realize many other dogs, and some others pets do too.

To say that I am going to miss Ollie would be a gross understatement, and yet, at the same time, I remind myself about how fortunate I was to have him in my life. Not everyone has had the opportunity to experience what it is like to have a pet in their lives that makes them feel the pure joy and love they bestow upon you. However, I wish everyone could have this experience.

Switching gears and refocusing our attention back on the question I posed about whether you are a friendly person, do you know if you truly are one? Perhaps you have been told by others that you are? Or, maybe you think you are, but this hasn’t been overtly confirmed by many others. At least not verbally.

Let’s face it. We know that not everyone is in fact friendly, and I’m sure we could also agree upon the fact there are various levels of being this way. One of the things I often consider as it relates to whether people are friendly, is whether this is a trait that we are born with? Or, perhaps one that we develop as an attribute of our personality as it evolves?

Focusing on yourself, think back to when you were a pre-teen. Do you have memories of being a friendly person? Yes, I will acknowledge its possible people’s circumstances in life may in fact interfere with them being as friendly as they could, but let’s take this out of the measurement equation.

According to some research I did, there have been studies which set out to determine if you could measure a person’s level of friendliness. In fact, there was a study done in the early 1980’s by J.M. Reisman called SACRAL, and it was designed to interpret and measure people’s level of friendliness. It included a 40-item questionnaire that both college students and children participated in.

The net result of the SACRAL study was that the majority of people rated themselves as friendly. However, the scores suggested otherwise, and that not everyone is in fact friendly. This isn’t earth shattering news, but was interesting to know there is a methodology to rate and interpret people’s level of friendliness.

Although I did seek to find more recent studies about measuring friendliness, there didn’t appear to be much data. So, I looked further back in time, and found another study published in 1968. It was conducted by Karl B. Zucker and Daniel C. Jordan, and was called “The Paired Hands Test: A technique for measuring friendliness”. According to what I read, this test is still considered to be a quick, objective and easily administered technique to reliably and with validity be used as a friendliness measurement tool.

Now that we know there are in fact tools to measure friendliness, below are some other ways you can determine if you, or others you know, or encounter are friendly.

  • Are you naturally curious about others, and when you meet them, do you truly ask them questions that allow you to get to know them better? Hint. If you are friendly, you would do this on a regular basis.
  • Although not everyone may feel their sixth sense or intuition is fully operational at all times, the majority of people can sense whether another person is friendly by both their body and verbal language. In other words, we might refer to someone having a friendly vibe. This is a fairly easy one to determine.
  • Another aspect which can contribute to the level of someone’s friendliness, is how genuine they are. Yes, this can be a subjective measurement, and will again require you to rely upon your instincts to help you to determine this when you first meet someone. However, as you get to know a person, it will be obvious whether they are or are not a genuine person. Genuine people would be classified as friendly.
  • Yes, we can all have days when we are not ourselves, and perhaps be described as moody. However, friendly people typically are seldomly moody.
  • You will also notice that most friendly people are also often kind people, and will regularly do nice things for other people. Often the nice things friendly people do for others may not even be seen or known about by others. Why? Because friendly people are not driven by needing to be rewarded for being and acting this way.

If you don’t think you are a friendly person, or have wondered why others who are that way, and behave the way they do, I hope my insight above can help you to understand friendly people better. Perhaps you could get to know more of them, as I’m 100% confident we could all benefit from having more friendly people in our lives.

One more thing. I want to conclude by saying that I sincerely hope that you have an opportunity to have an “Ollie” in your life at some point too. I’m sure going to miss him, but I have a sense he will forever be with me in my heart and soul.

Tags: #Dogs #Pets #Friendly #Friendliness #Genuineness #Relationships #Inspiration #Deathofapet #Passingofapet #Grievingapetsloss

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Who do you surround yourself with?

When we are young, we don’t always think about every one of our moves in terms of how it might be shaping our personal brand. However, as we become more aware of our surroundings and who we are, we begin to evolve. During this time, we may or may not consider how the people we interact with will, or we allow to shape and influence our lives. Or, perhaps not.

For those of you who would classify yourself as an inclusive person, and who embrace having lots of different people in your lives, I get you, and I’ve always have been this way too. Part of why I enjoy having such a diverse group of people in my life, is my fascination with each of them in terms of what makes them unique. A perfect example of this is one of my friends who I have referenced before. Her name is Ellen O’Brien.

Ellen is a renowned jazz and blues singer in New York City, and who hails from Boston. Although the two of us have a number of things in common, we probably have more things not in common if you were to compare our lists. In fact, it is the list of our opposite characteristics and interests that has bonded us over the years. Do you have an “Ellen” in your life?

Sometimes the people who are in our lives are there due to our life circumstances or the timing of where we are (e.g., school, neighborhood, work). However, I would be remiss if didn’t suggest to you that you should never use any of these as an excuse for not being able to broaden who you involve in your life. The important thing is to be aware of this, and to do something about it. Especially if the people in your life are what might in fact be our doppelgangers.  In other words, being the same as everyone else may not work in your favor.

Another expression I am partial to is that “variety is the spice of life”. Naturally this concept can be applied to the type of people we surround ourselves with. Now, let’s pause for a moment and consider the people we have in our professional and personal lives. Did we choose to have them in our lives, or are they in it due to our current life circumstances?

Circling back to the question of “Who do you surround yourself with?”, have you ever given this some thought, or at least recently? If you haven’t, below are some suggestions I have for considering why you might want to do this. My suggestions also tie into a conversation I was having with one of my friends this morning. We were discussing how some people are in your life are there for a reason, season or a lifetime. If you are curious, he is in the last category.

  • Think of yourself as a gardener. One of the main things they need to do to help their gardens grow, is to prune out items which are preventing growth. From time to time, we need to do the same thing with our personal or professional network.
  • Do you have a criterion for evaluating why or how you let someone into your life?
  • Are there people in your life who you would classify as toxic? If so, give serious thought to how you can reduce or eliminate the amount of time you interact with them.
  • Consider who is in your current circle of influencers. Are they each contributing to advancing or holding you back? Also consider whether their influence has been impactful, and whether the impact has been positive.
  • Look around you, whether physically or mentally. Are you in a place you want to be for the rest of your life? If not, do you have a plan in mind for how you can leverage the help from your network to help you get to where you want to be?
  • Have you thought about whether you have settled on who you interact with out of ease of doing so because it is convenient to do so?
  • Are you motivated to seek out meeting new people to include in your life?
  • What methods do you typically apply to meet and develop your network and circle of influencers? During the Pandemic, we have had to resort to more on-line methods, but they can still be impactful if you are willing to give them a try (e.g., meeting someone for coffee over Zoom).
  • Make a list of the positive and negative outcomes from the people you surround yourself with. Is your list balanced? Or, is one side longer than the other?  If one is longer than the other, and it’s not the favorable side, it’s the perfect time for you to re-evaluate who you surround yourself with.
  • Having outstanding people in our lives can be enriching in numerous ways, including being better for our health, and both physical and mental well-being.

Although as we get older some people are more reluctant to open up their circle of those who they include into the various layers of their relationship types, my feeling is that we should always embrace an opportunity to meet new people and integrate exceptional ones into our lives. I hope the people you currently or in the near future are exactly the type of people you would design and architect to be in your life. If not, perhaps you need to consider having a new blueprint drawn up.

Tags: #Business #Success #ProfessionalNetwork #PersonalNetwork #Influencers #happy #trendingnow #innovation #management #personaldevelopment

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Managing up. Do you know why to or how?

When I first started my career, the thought of moving up to a higher level wasn’t something I was thinking about. This was due to the fact I was more concerned about mastering the work related to the role I was in. As the years progressed, I became more aware of the career advancement of others. However, at that time, it was a mystery to me about how they moved ahead in their career.

The fact I didn’t have someone mentoring me during the first decade of my career is what I would attribute to being one of the greatest missed opportunities. Although, at that time, I wasn’t aware that having a mentor was an option. If I had realized this, the approach I took towards managing my career would have been significantly different. For one thing, I would have stayed on track to pursue a career which involved having more creativity infused into my daily role.

The expression that we have a 20/20 perception from our rear-view mirror may not be entirely accurate. My reason for suggesting this, is that we often forget or edit out some of the details that contributed to the outcome of the experience. Both good and bad ones.

When it comes to managing your career from a fully intentional approach to doing so, one of the first factors I noted above is that you should seek out counsel from someone to help you to do so. Your arrangement does not have to be overly official, but it should be with an individual who has successfully navigated the type of forward progress you are seeking.

There are numerous ways to get ahead in your career, and no one perfect way of doing so. That’s the good news. The downside is that you should consider whether moving ahead and up to the loftier roles in your career are really where you aspire to be?

Many of the leaders I have worked with have often noted that some of their best years of their career were when they were either individual contributors on a team. The teams they preferred working on were ones that were fully integrated, interdependent and focused on a single goal of achievement.

Now let’s get back to addressing whether you are interested in managing your career to higher levels, and how to go about doing so. The first step we covered already, but is worth repeating. Do you truly aspire to climb up to the highest levels of management? The second matter, also worth repeating, is to address ensuring you have a mentor or someone to guide you in the process of moving up in your role.

The third critical factor to consider is whether you have set yourself up in a role that will allow you to progress. Some roles have clearly delineated paths to the top, and yet the top level for the role may not take you to where you want to end up.

Here are some suggestions for how to go about managing your way up the career ladder.

  • Consider whether a lateral move may in fact provide you with additional experience you will need to progress to the next level.
  • Is your boss aware of your interest in moving up?
  • Do you have the type of boss who will support helping you to move up in your career? Not all bosses are “pro” you.
  • In addition to your mentor, seek out others either inside your company, or within your industry who have successfully navigated their way up to a role you desire.
  • Once you find someone besides your mentor to help you with your upward career movement, ask them to help you map out both the timeline and steps to take to accomplish this. In other words, have a written plan in place.
  • Applying a well through strategy to your upward mobility career plan will also be crucial to your success formula.
  • Often timing plays a large role in when opportunities avail themselves, and sometimes your experience may not match where you need to be to make a move.
  • There is an “art” to moving up in an organization. One of the most critical portions of the artistry of doing this is to hone your influencing skills. Consider how much experience you have with influencing others, and think about the outcomes of your influence.
  • Besides having your boss support you, have you put together your other “support champions”? These people will play a role in helping to drop both verbal and written endorsements for you as you are plotting your forward progression.
  • Your “support champions” should be a blend of people at different levels, as having a balanced group of people supporting you will serve you better than only being supported from top level executives. However, some people choose strictly to only manage-up to others in higher roles.
  • Managing across is also a technique to manage-up, as you will need and want to be supported by the colleagues who will eventually be reporting to you. Don’t underestimate the value of this.

Patience is a hard trait to master, and it will take a combination of patience, timing, support and a solid plan which needs to be executed well to get you to the level you ultimately desire to be at. Good luck with the process, and let me know if you need my help along the way.

Tags: #Business #Career #Success #Productivity #Management #Mentor #CareerAdvancement #ManagingUp

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Starting every day with “what if?”

One of my business coaches gave me some sage advice. He suggested that instead of taking the stance of always trying to mitigate risk, what if I instead considered thinking about challenges from a “what if” perspective. One that is a positive perspective, and imagining how the challenge will work out in my favor.

Some may refer to this as a mindset approach, while others could consider this to be part of what they would suggest is similar to the concept called manifestation. If you are not familiar with either of these concepts, it’s worth looking into them.

In the simplest form, mindset is a process of allowing your thoughts to be open to many considerations. In other words, being open-minded with your thinking, and not letting past experiences shape or obstruct your mind from other potential outcomes when your mindset was closed. The concept of manifestation is thinking positively about a situation, and how it will have the outcome you desire it to have. Again, this requires you to be open-minded, and the timing on this concept may not always be immediate in terms of delivering the outcome you desire.

The possibility of combining these two methods of thinking as part of your “what if” strategy to start off your day, is one of the ways you can begin to alter your scenario outcomes. Yes, for those of you who have not tried either of these concepts, let alone combining them, this might seem like a real stretch for you. So, starting out by attempting to apply one of them is what I would recommend initially doing.

Once you have “test driven” each of these concepts, and had success with them, you can then work towards combining them and leveraging the power they can offer in your daily thinking and outcomes.

Let’s say that you are not an optimist, or that you have possibly been told you are not an open-minded person. That’s OK, as it’s never too late or too soon to consider thinking differently. At first it might seem like it would be impossible for someone to change the way they think, but it’s not. Peoples habits can be changed, but they have to want to change them. Consider the phrase “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink that water”. This is the same theory. Perhaps you may have encountered this sentiment in your life?

As you may be aware, the power of suggestion can be a tremendously powerful motivator or catalyst for change. Even if someone is only slightly willing to consider a different outcome or way of thinking. Having them applying the “what if” concept to how they go about thinking could produce extremely different outcomes than they might have considered before.

If I asked you the question: Are you open-minded, what is your immediate thought? The majority of people I ask this question believe they are. Although when you ask them some additional questions relating to this topic, this is when you truly find out if they are. What are these other questions? They are:

  • When was the last time you changed your way of thinking based on considering more information?
  • Do you tend to accept information at face value? Or, do you more often feel comfortable with your decisions after researching information on your own, and to ensure you understand both sides of any topic being discussed?
  • Has anyone ever told you that you are stubborn? This potentially could apply to either your thinking, or the way that you do something that you are unwilling to try to do any other way. Even if it would be more beneficial for you to do so.
  • Have others you interact with ever expressed you frustrate them? Consider why they might be saying this.
  • Is it possible for you to consider someone else’s opinion to have merit?
  • Why do you come across as always having to be right? Or, that you are the only one with a sound and reasonable answer?
  • Do you value others who are closed-minded?
  • Would you want to be considered an open-minded person?

Surprisingly, or at least to me, there are people who would not want to be classified as being open-minded. However, in my opinion and experience, I have seen people who have changed from being closed-minded to becoming more open-minded gain tremendous opportunities and advantages over those who are not.

When you are open to the possibility of “what if”, and can re-frame your mind around it having a positive outcome, I will guarantee you will start to see and experience different and better outcomes. Are you still skeptical? What have you got to lose by trying this? You won’t know until you give it a try.