Coaching isn’t therapy. It’s people product development.

I was thinking about how to simply describe what I do professionally recently. In the simplest form, I would tell you that I am a “People Farmer”. Yes, this may sound odd, but since I love analogies, this one really resonated with me. Why? Because like people, farming is complex and multi-dimensional.

Although I have not spoken directly to any farmers recently, I would imagine they take great pride in seeing their work come to life. I’m thinking mainly of farmers who plant and grow things. If you have ever planted something, you would likely agree with me that there is immense satisfaction in seeing something you grew from a seed, and then turn into something that takes on a completely different appearance.

When I think about the work I do with people, I have often considered taking a photo of them when I first start working with them, and then one after I have been coaching them for a while. Do you think they would see a difference in how they look? Actually, I do. As a matter of fact, I have a number of people and teams I have worked with that look far differently after I have been working with them. Although I am not a personal trainer who would have the benefit of seeing their client literally reshape their body, there are aspects of how people who are developed via coaching look differently. Hold onto this thought.

Consider someone you know who has lots of confidence. Do they project confidence in their photos? Most of the time I’m sure they do. How about people who are generally known to be happy? Can you tell from their photos whether they are having a really great day and are happy? Yes, most of the time, even if they have a more serious expression on their face.

My point is that with coaching, and like farming, there is equally great care and focus applied to the development of both. Like farming, the intention of coaching is to help develop what is being focused on to go beyond and become stronger and more capable than they are when coaching was initiated. Developing people takes time. As a coach, you need to be able to focus on finding multiple ways to draw and bring forth the talents of who you are coaching. It’s not easy, but in my humble opinion, it is one of the most rewarding experiences you can humanly have.

As a parent, I look at my role as both a care taker, as well as a coach. They are different roles, and both are critically important. For some, both roles come naturally, and I believe they both come naturally to me. It doesn’t mean I am the best parent in the world, it just means I thoroughly enjoy both roles immensely. In full disclosure, I rely solely upon my instincts to guide me in my roles versus having read countless books on each topic. I’m not saying I would not have benefitted from having read books on these topics, I’m simply acknowledging I did not feel the need to rely upon them.

We are now living in a time when more people are classifying themselves as Coaches. I think this is wonderful! As I have written about before, I strongly support the philosophy that we all need coaches and people to mentor us . Yes, these can in fact be quite different types of people, and they might also use different methods to work with us, but the end result is that we will benefit from working with each of them.

Do I have a Coach? I sure do. As a matter of fact, I have a handful of them at any point in time. Some of them are formal Coaches, but most are informal ones that I consult with periodically. All of my Coaches are different types, and I am constantly learning new ways from them to apply and enhance my development expertise to be applied to the people and teams (e.g., Sports and Work) I engage with.

If you or your team think having one Coach is enough, have you considered what it would be like to have a Coach who focuses solely on developing you and your talents differently? Perhaps in a way your current coach hasn’t been trained on how to do so? Please give this some thought. Also consider whether engaging with a Coach who focuses on developing you or your teams’ innate talents, with the goal of taking them from great to superior, would be of value to you or your team.

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of Market Me Too.  She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Finder Coachauthor of Wisdom Whisperer  and Evolve! With the Wisdom Whisperer (published in December 2019)and is a well-respected motivational and social influencer with a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances. She also is the creator and Host of a TV Show and Podcast called Murf & E Unfiltered – Zero BS Biz Talk.

Essentially every team is dysfunctional in some way. Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and bridging dysfunctional teams (sports & business), and turning them into epic ones.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Our coaching produces repeatable, measurable and amazing results personally and professionally. Need proof? Just talk to our clients, or read through our testimonials.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

“NEW!” Guide for Teams:

Every team is dysfunctional at some point.  Click on the link below to obtain a “free guide” with (5) Proven Strategies To Turn Your Dysfunctional Team Into An Epic One

 

Need a crystal ball?

Many people right now are more focused on the future than they have been. For some, the future always seemed to present a clear path forward. However, right now, we are living at a time when at best, our current future is in a state of limbo, or perhaps as clear as mud.

Uncertainty can evoke a heightened sense of anxiety, but it doesn’t have to. In fact, the present time with our future outlook in the state it is presents us with an opportunity. An opportunity to reframe, reconsider and reimagine how we would like our future to be shaped. The fact most people in the US are in some form quarantine right now, allows us to have contemplative time we do not ordinarily have.

I have always been fascinated with people who are classified as futurists, as they mesmerize me with the way they describe the “what if” or “what could be” happening in the future.  I’m not a futurist, but have been often classified as a “creative” or “muse”. Coming from a lineage of inventors and creatives in my family, I am using the downtime I have now to retool a number of things in my life. I consider this time a great gift, and one that I encourage others to perceive as well.

Yes, many people right now are clearly suffering. Statistically around twenty-five percent of our country has lost their job. Neither of these are experiences people normally want to have. However, having a different perspective on what is happening to all of us collectively right now, as a society is one of the gifts this time period is bestowing upon us.

It’s easy to be negative during times of despair. However, this is precisely the time when we all need to dig a little deeper, with the intent of finding the “silver lining” we can all benefit from seeing.

If you are struggling to imagine how your life could be better right now, given the fact you might be in a situation you never imagined being in, here are some suggestions on how to take back some control in your life.

  • Although most of us are not allowed to go anywhere except for the grocery store and pharmacy, it doesn’t mean we can’t go anywhere. Or, perhaps not physically. However, it does mean if you have internet access, there are amazing websites that offer ways for you to experience virtually what they have to offer. As an example, here is a link to twelve virtual museum tours.
  • I don’t have any musical talent, but many people do. If you do, consider sharing your gift of being musical with others by inviting them to a virtual “concert”. Starring you! Don’t forget to invite me please.
  • A number of people have talents that lend themselves well to sharing with others (e.g., drawing, painting, DJing, cooking, sewing, code writing, wood working, sculpting, physical fitness instruction, repairing things). This list could be an enormous one, so I’m asking you to consider how you can share your talents with others. Although I don’t consider my writing to be a special talent, I do consider it something I can at least share with others.
  • Many people are living alone right now. Consider giving them a call, or perhaps Zooming with them for a virtual chat to engage with them socially. Both parties will gain enormous benefit from this. Make a list of people you can queue up with each week to do this, and consider doing this even when we are not quarantined.
  • If you are someone who has been called a “futurist”, consider sharing your outlook with the rest of us who would love to hear about how you are perceiving our future to be shaping up.
  • If you are not an organized person, this is the perfect time to take back some control in your life. I literally started with the top drawer in my bedroom dresser. I liked the results so much, that I continued to organize the rest of my drawers. Now I love opening up the drawers and seeing how organized everything looks!
  • Reach out to people on LinkedIn, or in any of your social networks that you have always wanted to reach out to. It could be for the purposes of learning more about the career they are in, or to plant the seed to connect again with them once our world gets back to our “new normal”, and we are all back at work.
  • Although you may have lost your job, there are still many people who are working. Ask them how you can help them and offer to do something for them with the extra time you have, especially people working on the “front lines” of our pandemic. It could be offering to go shopping for them, walk their dog or make something for them.
  • Think about your future differently. You have the time to do that right now. Write down, draw or talk to someone about how you would like to reshape or head the direction of your future in. You have nothing to lose doing this, and possibly everything to gain.
  • Take time to let others in your life know that you appreciate them. Write them a note, tell them, send them a video expressing how you feel positively about them. Yes, they will appreciate you doing this, and you could start a positive chain reaction and be the example for others to do this too.

We can all use a dose of positivity in our lives right now. Despite the fact many people’s circumstances may appear to be bleak, I can assure you this situation is only temporary, and we will at some point be back to a place where this time is a distant memory. Make the best use of the time you have right now. I know I’m trying to do so, so please join me in doing that too.

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of Market Me Too.  She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Finder Coachauthor of Wisdom Whisperer  and Evolve! With the Wisdom Whisperer (published in December 2019)and is a well-respected motivational and social influencer with a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances. She also is the creator and Host of a TV Show and Podcast called Murf & E Unfiltered – Zero BS Biz Talk.

Essentially every team is dysfunctional in some way. Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and bridging dysfunctional teams (sports & business), and turning them into epic ones.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Our coaching produces repeatable, measurable and amazing results personally and professionally. Need proof? Just talk to our clients, or read through our testimonials.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

“NEW!” Guide for Teams:

Every team is dysfunctional at some point.  Click on the link below to obtain a “free guide” with (5) Proven Strategies To Turn Your Dysfunctional Team Into An Epic One

Impact. What’s yours?

Each day every one of us has an opportunity to positively impact the life of someone else. Yet, when I see some people’s actions, I am disappointed with how many people miss or are not aware of the ability to do so. Consider thinking about this today, and some of the actions you may have taken. If you could, would you want to apply a do over to any of them?

Being consciously aware of our actions, and thinking about how we always have a choice about which direction to apply our impact is critical. So, why don’t more people seemingly do this? Is it because no one gave them permission to help versus hurt someone with their impact? Perhaps the modeling they had growing up wasn’t constructive, and they are mimicking what they witnessed? Or, possibly they are not aware of their destructive choices and actions, and the outcome of them.

Yes, it may seem ridiculous that some people are unaware of their impact, but I guarantee you that this is happening more than we might like to admit. What is contributing to more people having a negative impact on others? Many factors, and ones we are all contending with. Let’s start with an easy one. Social media. I picked this one, as you are hopefully positively benefitting from the impact of it by reading this article.

For some, it appears they consciously or perhaps unconsciously leverage the power of social media as a weapon, versus a gift. I prefer to have the tool of social media work favorably for others. That’s my way of positively having an impact on a global audience.

Let’s take the concept of impact into the work place. Or, for those of you who love sports, let’s apply this to your favorite sports platform. In either scenario, there are numerous opportunities for both the leaders of each scenario to widely and favorably impact their groups every day. The easiest way for them to do this is to verbally or in writing let their team members know they appreciate the work they are doing. As you know this doesn’t cost anything to do, and most would refer to this as praise. When praise is authentically given, it has an enormous positive impact on others.

So, what are some of the other ways people can have a positive impact on those they interact with? Here are some suggestions to get you started, and moving in the direction of potentially counter acting any negative impact you unknowingly are causing.

  • Everyone has a degree of empathy. Some more than others. However, regardless of the amount you have, if you notice someone is having a tough day or moment, tell them you are aware of this. Also, ask them if there is anything you can do to help them.
  • Giving someone an opportunity to be listened to, and truly heard can be enough to have a positive impact.
  • Carve out more time to help someone. It could be as little as 5 minutes, but it could make a world of difference in their lives, or in the work they are doing, or with something they are trying to master in the sports realm.
  • Look around. Do you see who might need some additional support? If so, then either directly offer to help them, or talk about who else can be involved with doing this. You don’t always have to take on the full responsibility of helping someone. There are times when it is better to also involve someone else in the effort of doing this.

Let’s assume you are having a positive impact on others on a daily or regular basis. What if you are dealing with someone in your life, on your team or in your workplace that is having a negative impact on others? Here are some suggestions for how to contend with them, and to potentially turn them around. At a minimum, to make an attempt to do so.

  • Ironically, many who are not having a desired impact on others are often unaware of their behavior. Yes, it will take courage, and perhaps more than one conversation, but someone needs to confront this individual. If you are in a workplace and work at a company who has a Human Resource (HR) professional, seek out their assistance or obtain guidance from them prior to your conversation. If you do not have access to an HR person, Google will be your best friend to provide advice on how best to initiate the conversation with the individual, and what questions to ask them.
  • On or coaching a sports team? The common thread between sports and work scenarios is communication. Strong and clear communication with someone who is having a non-desirable impact is the first step in changing this behavior. In other words, having the person acknowledge and then understand via talking how their impact is not having the type of outcome they think it is having. Will this be an easy conversation? No. Will it have an immediate positive impact? Yes, and no, but the first goal will be to get the person to a neutral place and in a non-judgmental frame of mind to have the eventual desired positive outcome from having them acknowledge their negative impact.

Since I always like to challenge both myself and others, my request is for you to keep a running tally (e.g., positive or negative impact) for a minimum of a day, ideally for a week, on your work place or sports team interactions. The goal will be to help you to determine whether you are having more positive or negative outcomes on others. You know which category you want to be in, so go make this happen.

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of Market Me Too.  She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Finder Coachauthor of Wisdom Whisperer  and Evolve! With the Wisdom Whisperer (published in December 2019)and is a well-respected motivational and social influencer with a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances. She also is the creator and Host of a TV Show and Podcast called Murf & E Unfiltered – Zero BS Biz Talk.

Essentially every team is dysfunctional in some way. Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and bridging dysfunctional teams (sports & business), and turning them into epic ones.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Our coaching produces repeatable, measurable and amazing results personally and professionally. Need proof? Just talk to our clients, or read through our testimonials.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

“NEW!” Guide for Teams:

Every team is dysfunctional at some point.  Click on the link below to obtain a “free guide” with (5) Proven Strategies To Turn Your Dysfunctional Team Into An Epic One

Feeling anxious? Now what?

While on a virtual meeting the other day, I was talking to a someone who is in the healthcare industry. He is also an expert in mental health, and works with many people between the ages of 18-23. During our conversation, he revealed how people in this age range are struggling with their anxiety levels right now. He also acknowledged it wasn’t simply this age range that is struggling. Unfortunately, I was not surprised by this news.

I asked what was the single reason, or most referenced concern people said was causing their anxiety. His response surprised me slightly, but it does make sense. He noted that it is the increased lack of knowing what is going to happen in their respective lives that is spiking their anxiety levels.

Right now, all of us are living at a time when the word combo of “precarious situation” could be used to describe also how we feel. In plain English, uncertainty is what is currently ruling our days.

However, like many other feelings, uncertainty can be corralled. We can also apply more control than you realize, to help us reduce our anxiety levels. For starters, doing this takes looking at our respective scenarios from a different perspective from what you are facing. The questions I want you to honestly answer are: Are you willing to do this? What is the worst thing that would happen if you don’t? Perhaps you will continue to feel more anxious? I’m certain no one wants to feel a higher level than they presently do.

As an external optimist, I believe my skill set in this area are needed more than ever right now. I also feel fortunate to be My ability to contribute helping others feel less anxious is intended to purely help others feel a reduced sense of lack of control. If I am able to simply help one person, then I am grateful for being able to do so.

When I choose the name of my first book called “Wisdom Whisperer”, I intentionally did this. Why? Because the information I am sharing with others I consider to be wisdom others can benefit from…should they decide to listen. Hence the reference to “whispering” versus overtly shouting out what I am conveying.

The good news I was referencing about being able to control or reduce our anxiety levels, is with the intent of doing so without medication.  The reality is that I am not a healthcare professional, so I cannot prescribe medication. From a science and medical perspective, there are levels of anxiety that require medication, but most people can control theirs without it. However, if you require anxiety medication and it helps you, even temporarily, consider yourself fortunate to have found a solution. Especially in the time period we are in.

For those of you who believe you do not need to seek medication as a solution, here are some ideas for you to consider exploring and trying to see if they can help you to take back control of your anxiety level. Many of these will be ones you have heard of before. Perhaps even using currently, but for those who have not had to deal with anxiety before, this list is for you. Thank you to my professional mental health connection for suggesting these solutions.

  • Think about anything other than what is contributing to your anxiety. For many of you, watching, listening or reading about Covid 19 for any length of time, every day, and for excessive periods of time is not helping you. Reduce your intake of the news reports.
  • If you live alone, please make time to talk to your friends on the phone or via a video conference. Texting is Ok, but seeing the other person or multiple people you can talk to will make you feel much better. I had my second virtual “party” on Saturday night. For a number of my friends, it was the first time they had experienced the beneficial positive feeling and power of getting together and talking this way. A number of them said it simulated better than they expected what a real party would be like.
  • Any type counts. More importantly, try to do some type that you enjoy, and that could even feel like it is fun! Dancing around counts, so crank up your favorite music and start dancing.
  • Distract yourself with learning how to do something you have always said…I have always wanted to learn how to (fill-in-the-blank).
  • Change your diet. This is a great time to manipulate how you feel by feeling better by actually making an attempt to eat more healthy food. We all know that sugar is not our friend…although I know it tastes really good. Start by trying to cut down on the amount of sugar you eat every day. It will be easier than you think. One thing I did was to eat a piece of fruit, instead of having some ice cream.
  • Do something nice for someone else. You know the expression “It is always better to give than to receive”. My neighbor just texted me and said she has an open bottle of wine she used a small amount of in a recipe. She doesn’t like red wine, so she asked if I wanted to have the rest of the bottle. This has to be the best morning offer I have received in years! Although, I won’t be enjoying the wine until dinner tonight.
  • Loan your time and teach somebody how to do a skill you have mastered. Perhaps ask someone you know to teach you what they are a pro at doing, and then ask them if you can reciprocate. Or, introduce them to someone you know who can teach them a new skill.
  • Keep in mind that your anxiety level will decrease, and that now you have some basic techniques to help you to bring it down.

Please think of this list a catalyst. One intended to serve as a reminder about how to decrease our anxiety levels. My one request? If you made it to the end of this article, please share with me or others at least one of your own techniques to reduce anxiety. Thank you in advance for doing so, and stay healthy my friends, both physically and mentally.

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of Market Me Too.  She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Finder Coachauthor of Wisdom Whisperer  and Evolve! With the Wisdom Whisperer (published in December 2019)and is a well-respected motivational and social influencer with a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances. She also is the creator and Host of a TV Show and Podcast called Murf & E Unfiltered – Zero BS Biz Talk.

Essentially every team is dysfunctional in some way. Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and bridging dysfunctional teams (sports & business), and turning them into epic ones.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Our coaching produces repeatable, measurable and amazing results personally and professionally. Need proof? Just talk to our clients, or read through our testimonials.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

“NEW!” Guide for Teams:

Every team is dysfunctional at some point.  Click on the link below to obtain a “free guide” with (5) Proven Strategies To Turn Your Dysfunctional Team Into An Epic One

Adaptability is a superpower.

With undertones in the media and in conversations with people the last few days, it appears we are inching towards our state and perhaps our country being fully quarantined. Does this bother me? Not really, and I have a number of reasons why.

My first reason is due to the fact I see infinite possibilities with having time I did not expect to have to work on projects that even on a digital list, I felt were accumulating dust. My second reason is I also have time to catch up with people who are usually in transit, or on the other side of the world.  I now know where they are, and can get in touch with them! The third reason is I feel much more creative and full of hope about what is ahead for all of us.

Now, back to discussing being adaptable. Is this a trait that can be taught? Sure. Although some people are naturally more adaptable than others. I bet you can also name a few people who are this way. Are they people you enjoy working with or having in your life? Of course, they are. They tend to be the type of people who go with the flow. In the current state our world is in, we need to call upon more of these people to help us. Especially, to help the people who are the opposite of them.

Being flexible is one of the many words to also describe people who are adaptable. In my professional opinion and through observations, when someone is flexible, it also provides them with more opportunities.  Both professionally and personally.

A fantastic workplace example of someone who exhibited adaptability characteristics was a person I was once interviewing. We ended eventually hiring this person, but they were our second-choice candidate. The first person ended up declining our offer, and we went back to the second candidate who was thrilled to have an offer extended to him. He needed to be flexible with our terms of hiring, and he was. This made choosing him as a second-choice candidate feel like an even better decision. He also demonstrated continued flexibility as an employee, and his early signs of being this way represented him authentically.

Are there ways you can either become or be perceived to be more adaptable? Absolutely. Here are some suggestions on how to go about doing so:

  • The next time someone asks you to help them, do so, and without any excuses.
  • Give other people an opportunity to be in the spotlight at work, or put them in the spotlight by being a spokesperson for how valuable their contributions are to your team.
  • Consider doing that “task” others are always asking you to do on your team that you always avoid doing. Surprise them and show them that you aren’t “Captain No”.
  • Agree to meet in the middle. It doesn’t matter what the topic is, as long as it doesn’t get you in trouble or harm others.
  • Think about why you might not be adaptable. Is it because you are stubborn? Do you think your reputation might be tarnished or improved with being more flexible? Perhaps you are afraid to fail? Or, worse, succeed?
  • Have you always been inflexible? Is this a label you want to have applied to you?
  • Consider someone you know who would be described as being adaptable. What are the reasons others would classify them this way? Can you try modeling and applying one or more of these qualities to how you go about your life or the work you do?
  • It will take time and practice to become more flexible, just like it does when you begin to workout at the gym. It’s the same concept with personality adaptability.

Let’s face it. Superpowers are not easy to come by, and certainly not everyone can master and have this one applied when others are describing them. Maybe not all the time, but perhaps some of the time.

As I noted in the hiring example above, I have questions that I have used and asked candidates to help me determine whether adaptability is one of their traits. These same questions can be configured to apply them to people you interact with on a social basis too. If you are interested in finding out what they are, please let me know.

Kathleen E. R. Murphy is the Founder, Chief Performance Strategist and CEO of Market Me Too.  She is a Gallup Certified Strengths Finder Coachauthor of Wisdom Whisperer  and Evolve! With the Wisdom Whisperer (published in December 2019)and is a well-respected motivational and social influencer with a global following from her numerous speaking, print, radio and television media appearances. She also is the creator and Host of a TV Show and Podcast called Murf & E Unfiltered – Zero BS Biz Talk.

Essentially every team is dysfunctional in some way. Our expertise is in uniting, motivating and bridging dysfunctional teams (sports & business), and turning them into epic ones.

Market Me Too also works with individuals from students to C-level executives. The individuals, business and sports teams we work with are coached on how to leverage and apply their peak performance talents on a daily basis. Our coaching produces repeatable, measurable and amazing results personally and professionally. Need proof? Just talk to our clients, or read through our testimonials.

If you want better and different results, let’s talk. We know how to help you get them. Contact Kathleen at kathymurphy@me.com or (339) 987-0195.

“NEW!” Guide for Teams:

Every team is dysfunctional at some point.  Click on the link below to obtain a “free guide” with (5) Proven Strategies To Turn Your Dysfunctional Team Into An Epic One