How to actually get along with others.

Given the enormous division we have been seeing in our countries ability to get along with others recently, I felt compelled to write about this. Getting along with others is not a light subject to address, yet it is one that truly resonates with me.

There are a number of things I am passionate about. One of them is the importance of granting a minimum level of respect to everyone I encounter. In other words, starting from a neutral place with everyone I meet, without judging them prior to interacting with them.

Based on my profession, I meet and have worked with thousands of people. Each time I meet someone I look at it as an opportunity. An opportunity to get to know an interesting person. To learn something from them, and to better understand how they view the world. From my perspective, meeting and getting to know others is similar to opening or being given a gift.

How is it that people become so jaded and reluctant to embrace being able to get along with others? Unfortunately, they are negatively influenced by others in their life to shape how they think from an early age. As someone matures, the circle of people they interact with will further shape and influence how they think. Yes, we all have the ability to be independent thinkers, but it takes more effort to do this. Yet, it is completely worth putting in the work to think this way.

Of course, our life circumstances can also impact the way we perceive and get along with others in our lives. Sprinkle in the concept of one’s mindset, and this too can play a negative or positive role in which way people think about and how they get along with others.

Now factor in the concept of effort, as this too also needs to be considered. For instance whether it is a minimum or maximum amount of effort applied, in terms of attempting to interact well, and get along with half the people we encounter. If the amount of effort is low, chances are that people will struggle with getting along with others. I’m applying the term effort, as an umbrella term for numerous other words. Unfortunately, prejudice is the first one that comes to my mind. However, my opinion about prejudice is that it is based on being highly misinformed, and stubbornly reluctant to accept and honor and equally value other people.

For the sake of being on the same page with our thinking, indulge me in winding back our lives to when we were able to get along with just about everyone. Everyone will likely wind back to a different age, but most will generally be sub five years old. At that time in our lives we were not burdened with investing negative energy into thinking about other people. Imagine if you could roll back to that point in time?

Starting from a place of treating everyone equally, and as if they are one of your friends, is a noble thought. Is it realistic? Perhaps not, but consider what our world would be like if as adults we put more effort and modeled for younger generations how to get along with others?

Personally, I am on a daily quest to model this type of behavior. In fact, I am honored when I am able to meet a new person. Especially when they initially appear to represent an outward perspective, and may appear quite different from me (e.g., they grew up in a different country, speak a different language, are older, younger, etc.).

One of the greatest compliments related to this topic, and that I have received from another person, was that they completely misjudged me based on my appearance. In other words, they were applying their own prejudice to me prior to interacting with me. They also told me that they learned something from this experience. What they shared with me was that they were going to from that point on, do their part to be more open and less judgmental. In other words, they were going to attempt to not thrust their prejudiced thinking on others going forward.

In case you were wondering if there are concepts you can apply to get along better with others, there are. Here are some suggestions to do this.

  • Consider reading, listening to a podcast or watching a video about mindset. More specifically look up the word “open mindedness”.
  • Factor in how you feel when you meet and or interact with someone new. What are some of the first thoughts that cross your mind about this person? Are they negative or positive thoughts?
  • What if you trusted everyone new that you met. Or, perhaps were neutral in your thinking about them when you first met them. How would your interaction with this person change?
  • What value do you place on having more people in your life that are different than you?
  • Think about the characteristics of the people you consider to be your friends. Are you proud of their characteristics? Or, are there aspects of their characteristics which you simply accept, but are not happy about?
  • How would you currently rate your ability to get along well with others? Are you able to objectively rate yourself?
  • Have you ever avoided meeting someone for reasons you would not be comfortable with sharing with others why you feel this way? Think about why you feel this way. Is it reasonable or logical to think this way? 
  • What level of effort do you put into getting along with others? Perhaps you don’t put enough effort in to make it work out to get along well.
  • Are you always pointing the blame on someone else for why you can’t get along? Have you considered maybe you and the way you interact with others is the reason you are challenged with getting along with others.

To do my part, I’ll be focused on being a role model to demonstrate how to get along well with others. I hope many of you will do the same, as we all know our world will be a much better place if we could all simply just get along well with one another.

Tags: #Howtogetalongwithothers #Gettingalong #Leadership #Relationships #Business #Management #Prejudice #teambuilding #leadershipmindset #engagement #success #Teams

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